Therapy
by AllTheSnakes
Summary: The work of a good therapist may be the help CC needs to understand Niles better and put things in motion between them.
1. Context

_Hi, people!_

_I've been reading some great fics with Doctor Bort as a character (from EspoirDio and Tanya Reed, just to mention the examples that come to mind); I have an amazing therapist, who have helped me a lot; I wanted to play with the idea of CC being mentally healthier than Niles… The result is the plot we have in this story._

_I hope you enjoy! _

**Therapy**

**Chapter 1: Context**

'I'm tired of putting up with it, and I want solutions. So, if you think we have to discuss that insufferable man, let's do it'.

Those were the words Doctor Bort heard from her patient, CC Babcock, as soon as the blonde rested her body on the couch of her office, that afternoon.

The therapist knew one day or another things would reach the point when it would be impossible not to talk about the subject…

(The subject being CC's relationship with Niles, the Sheffield's butler.)

… but the way it came was still surprising, once the businesswoman had been with Bort weekly for more than a decade (with a three year intermission), and a good part of that time had been dedicated to _not _talk about _that_.

**ncncncncnc**

When CC started working for Maxwell, she had been treating herself with Bort for almost one year, already. It was easy for the therapist to realize that, even if there were lots of interesting things going on in CC's life because of the new job, there was something different related to the way her patient faced the butler's behavior.

Initially, CC kept mentioning the butler because she found him annoying_, _in what she described as _intrusive_.

A bit lost at the novelty in a man that should be just a _servant_, CC brought the situation to the weekly session, and soon realized Niles was interested in other people's business and kind of disrespectful in the way he expressed his opinions, and that he had been including her in this, the same way he included the other people of the house.

That was a surprising notion to CC, who had felt strangely belonging to the household, and had never been able to point out exactly from where the feeling came. Now she knew: Niles said what he found he had to, in order to have things his way, and he saw no distinction between speaking his mind to Maxwell, Sara, their kid or CC.

When he found the young couple having disagreements in front of their child (two-year old Margareth), he called them on it; if little Maggie misbehaved, he made her understand clearly he was not amused by her behavior; if CC was arrogant, giving opinions on things she didn't know, he pointed it out to her.

CC claimed she couldn't quite understand how Sara and Maxwell found it acceptable in any way: CC was not used to servants speaking freely, but Niles did that, and then offered advice and, what was really strange, was _listened to_. In CC's experience, servants had no brains or relevance at all, and she was baffled every time Niles was sarcastic and said things that would get him fired on the spot, in the Babcock's household, but resulted in him being considered wise, by the Sheffields.

He kept the house together and was responsible for things to run smoothly, what gave Maxwell time to work and be with his little family, and Sara, time to deal with Maxwell's anxiousness and be with her dear child. Once the butler had the annoying habit of being right, people with good sense took the easier path and followed what he said.

When Niles started speaking his mind to her, CC's first reaction had been stare back at him in stunned silence. However, soon she had to deal with the things he said, because he was not ignored by the others, and she couldn't pretend she hadn't heard him.

Not used to being contradicted or having her faults and misconceptions being pointed out, CC had opted for glaring at him, showing her discontentment. It didn't change his attitude, and before she knew what she was doing, she started answering to him.

Sometimes she answered to defend herself and explain her reasoning; sometimes, she just wanted to show she was aware of the possibility of being kind of wrong, but didn't need _him_ to point it out.

No matter the reasons that made her answer, the fact was that it improved her self awareness, gave her some base to think of her own actions and was fun as few other activities she had ever engaged in.

She stared getting real pleasure from their debates – she felt like he challenged her, and her mind had to stay alert and ready to give him better and funnier answers. It became part of her routine, and not a small one: it was so noticeable that Sara often exclaimed they were 'quite a pair' after some really good zingers, and even Maxwell sometimes would say they were 'at it again'.

CC would look at Niles and see him strangely excited at their interactions, not caring if other people were around and commented on them.

She got used to Niles _grinning_ at her with something that was pride and joy and a kind of endearment she couldn't quite recognize, and that made her feel included and happy.

What seemed too much for CC's taste had turned into something she enjoyed, to the point she started thinking she could permit herself to look for him in order to have a break from work.

And soon Niles was all about alleviating stress: sometimes chatting over tea, sometimes exchanging zingers over him being a maid and her, a workaholic, and sometimes just plain spending time together around Sara and her child.

All of that – spending time with the help and around a housewife and her kid – would have been unthinkable to CC Babcock, any day of her life. But it was before she met the Sheffields' household.

CC had decided Maxwell and Sara were so disgustingly happy there was no way she would interfere in that, even if she felt the producer was the kind of handsome and rich man any other socialite would try to snatch for herself, not caring if he was married or not. CC didn't know if she had turned into a different person by the choice of having a career, or if she had chosen to have a career exactly because she was different from her peers, but the idea of prying on a married man just for the thrill of it, or to prove she was better, wasn't the least interesting to her.

Her bond with Niles had been a relief for her, then, because she felt like she needed a role in the mansion, and being 'the secretary' was not enough: she was in the house almost everyday, thanks to work; it was impossible not to follow the daily adventures of the young couple, even if she didn't exactly feel much empathy for them. For example, the news about a second kid that was to arrive very soon: Sara made the announcement while bursting with happiness and Maxwell acted ecstatic and _surprised_.

CC and Niles just looked at each other and smiled condescendingly.

Knowing she shared a lot of things with Niles (they were adult, single people who had a quick mind, a witty humor, a taste for the classics in movies and music and, most of all, an objective and no-nonsense attitude) kept CC grounded and included in the familiar unity.

Initially, CC couldn't understand how she could feel included in the family when she was not really family, didn't share a lot of their views on things and, definitively, didn't agree with their sweet and homey lifestyle. But then she discovered that was exactly Niles' position, and he had turned family to them, and the same rules were applying to her.

In fact, when he started treating her the way he did, he _made sure_ the same rules were applying to her, and everybody followed his lead.

Things just got better and better: the company had its problems, but here and then they had a hit; Maxwell and Sara, after Brighton, still had Grace; Niles and CC kept things in relative order, as Sara liked to say, 'in the office and in the kitchen'.

When Grace was one year old, CC informed Bort that she would be out of therapy for some time. Her reason was that she felt like her life was where she had wished it to be when she reached her mid-twenties: she had a promising career and a bunch of people with whom she interacted daily and could be called, without too much of a stretch, _friends_.

It was the first time in her life that she had achieved such things.

Having a career and her own money, thanks to her own hard work, had been a victory for previously snob and spoiled CC Babcock, and she got great pride over it.

Keeping stable positive personal relationships with people she could rely on was a glorious feat to previously money-oriented CC Babcock, and she had a strange warm feeling over it.

She felt her future was bright, that she had found stability and a safe place to be. Now she just needed the opportunity to deal with things by herself, and being out of therapy seemed to be the right decision to take, all things considered.

Bort understood her reasons and, even if she obviously disagreed, wished CC the best and they parted in good terms.

Unfortunately, things changed for the worse and the socialite was back three years later.

In fact, she contacted Bort to find out if her former therapist could recommend a colleague for Grace Sheffield, who had lost her mother one year earlier and was not showing signs of getting over it. Bort invited CC to come over to her office, informed she could deal with Grace's case herself and asked gently if she didn't want an appointment, too, once she was coming anyway, had been directly involved in the events and was very close to the Sheffields.

CC agreed to have the appointment, and so much pain and sorrow appeared in her words that she decided it was time to be back into therapy.

They resumed the weekly sessions, and soon it was clear that the death of Sara Sheffield had brought CC three huge problems:

1-CC had considered Sara a friend, and with her gone, it was like all hope from sincere interactions was gone with her.

The socialite had started therapy saying she always resented her father for not being present, and that she thought it was time to act as an adult and get over it. However, soon she realized she resented her mother even more, for being too present and suffocating CC with ideas of property, money, power and the way they could solve any problem.

Trying to work in the show business had not helped into changing that vision of how things worked, because CC was often facing people who knew how rich she was and tried to convince her to pay to get what she wanted – from a position in a business company to the compromise of any professional in New York, everything seemed to be related to how much you are able to pay.

When she was almost giving up the idea of a career, she had met Sara in a party. They had been colleagues in a boarding school, and CC barely remembered the easy-going girl who always had a smile for everyone; however, Sara remembered the brilliant girl with a no-nonsense attitude that made others keep a distance, and soon CC was overflowed by shared memories that sounded a lot better now, through the retelling of someone with a generous heart and mature vision.

Warmed by Sara's way of speaking and by some booze she had already consumed, CC confessed she had been looking for a place in business, with a special interest in show business, and that things were hard for women with an attitude.

Sara exclaimed her husband had been trying his hand as a Broadway producer, that Sara believed he needed someone to keep him on track and that they had to meet.

She called Maxwell, who had been talking to other people in the party, she introduced them, and the rest was History.

It the following day, Sara had already convinced her husband he should hire her acquaintance, even if it was in a trying basis, as a secretary, brought CC to the Sheffields' nest, introduced her to Niles and to the organized chaos of a life with children running around.

And soon CC learned the importance of having people that stick with you, no matter what happens.

With that woman gone, it was like the link CC had forged through the years had been destroyed, and she saw no possibility something so akin to a miracle would happen again.

2-Maxwell was closed in his grief.

Yes, the man was working hard and totally dedicated to business, but he never smiled, never seemed happy with whatever the company achieved, couldn't even face his own children, ran away from social gatherings and refused to share any personal impression on anything.

CC had never been one for the sweet things, but the last years had taught her the importance of it, and it was making her crazy to see the children neglected and Maxwell assuming the role of the depressed widower. Even if it gave her a good amount of power decision in the company, she knew things were wrong.

The mansion had turned into a glooming place, the shadow of unhappiness menaced their business, and she didn't know what to do about it.

She started doing what came to mind to help, in desperate and blind attempts: she stayed around Maxwell as much as she could, working late in the office, inviting him to business trips, offering massages, complimenting him; she proposed to send the children to a boarding school, so they would have a good education and some attention from professionals, once it was obvious there was no place for them in the mansion, now; she offered to spend the Holidays with Maxwell away, any place he chose, offering him the opportunity to hide and being at his disposal to soothe the pain.

She had put herself in the role she thought was hers, as the only adult female around: to occupy Sara's place the best she could.

It was not working.

3-Niles was treating her as if she was the Antichrist.

That was a huge problem, but was the point when CC decided she didn't want to discuss Niles, too.

Since Sara's death, he had turned more and more verbally aggressive towards CC. He didn't show, in her opinion, the least of respect for her grief, attacking her as if she was to blame for anything that helped in the household: if Maxwell decided to go to his bed earlier, it was her improper behavior; if the children cried, it was her horrifying appearance; if he didn't have dinner ready in time, it was her bad omen.

She decided he was not worth dealing with. She already had so much to get over that paying attention to his stupid behavior was not worth her energy.

Bort followed, through CC's stories, all the things that had occurred since then.

Most of all, she saw CC's struggle for Maxwell's attention, initially to sooth the pain from the loss, then because if someone was to take Sara's place, it had to be someone who was already there, and the only available option was CC herself.

Bort questioned that line of thought, and CC admitted she was afraid anyone that came into the family would ruin the sacred place she had lived within. It seemed Maxwell and Sara had been the King and Queen of a perfect kingdom, and it was wrong to accept any stranger among them. Every time Brighton managed to send away a new nanny, for example, CC secretly cheered. The boarding school was where she had met Sara, and it was getting clearer and clearer it was the best choice for everybody.

_Au pair_ with Maxwell's coldness were Niles' aggressive zingers, always demolishing any possibility of her being seen as any thing more than a pestering secretary. It annoyed CC to no end, because Niles putting special effort into making Maxwell blind to her qualities got in her way of helping Maxwell personally, and barred any possibility of her being promoted to business partner, too.

She thought the butler probably wanted the position of wise advisor just for himself and, again, CC didn't want to discuss such an insolent and egotistical man.

Bort lost count of the times CC told her something Niles had said, and when was asked to talk about it or explain how she felt, she just said she was not there to spend time and money talking about _that low-life_ – and then proceed to explain in detail why she was nothing like what Niles had accused her of being.

With Maxwell being cold and distant, Niles being aggressive and the children behaving badly, CC felt like she was fighting an unfair battle.

Doctor Bort knew that environment was the worst possible for CC Babcock, who had had to deal with the lack of warmth from her mother and the difficulties at expressing sincere affection and keeping commitments from her father. But she knew, also, that CC had been able to get over some of her more difficult questions while in contact with that same people that now bothered her, and those attachments were too important to be given up.

Then _Nanny Fine_ arrived, and things got a new twist.

CC hated the woman with a passion, initially with vague reasons like _she wants the center of all attentions_, _she is a tramp_ and _it's not fair_.

With time passing by, the socialite could get a better hold on what rubbed her the wrong way and made her despise Fran Fine: it was that things always got right for the nanny, no matter what she did.

CC told Bort about the absurd situations: if she took the children to the Zoo, they got unhappy, the Boy vomited in her hat and they ended up hating her more than before; if Nanny Fine took them to a trip by the subway, she had to defend them from burglars, she ended up taking a lost baby to the mansion, she had to go to the Police to explain it, and everything got right at the end, with the Nanny even more loved than before.

Maxwell was enchanted by the brunette to the point where he usually praised her for anything – even the craziest schemes. CC hated how lucky Fran was.

Bort had pointed out that yes, some people were lucky, but maybe they should discuss what made Fran Fine so 'successful', and what that really meant.

After some resistance to discuss the subject (Nanny Fine fit in the category of _low life_; therefore, not worth therapy time), CC realized that things just ended up getting right for the woman because she had a net of people interested in helping her.

That net included Niles, of course.

The same Niles that, even if transformed in a hateful gargoyle when it concerned CC, was still often right and generally wise, and perfectly capable of developing a soft spot for people he felt needed him in any way.

And then _Niles_ should have been the center of the discussion, being glaringly obvious his soft spot for CC had existed and, for some reason, was not showing anymore; however, after a session in which CC insisted on how annoying and worthless and stupid the butler was (and ended up threatening not to come back if they would be talking about him), Bort knew things would be hard and that she would have to be really careful to be able to reach the point when the subject would not be such a taboo.

Now, her patient had brought it by herself, and it seemed the time to work on it has finally come.


	2. CC and Bort - Round 1

**Therapy**

**Chapter 2: CC and Bort – Round 1**

Knowing the importance of the situation, Doctor Bort took her notebook and a pen, got to a more comfortable position on her chair and started cautiously, 'Who are you referring to, Miss Babcock?'

The blonde made an effort to look at the therapist behind her, but her laid position didn't permit her to do so. Annoyed, she glared at the ceiling, '_Niles_, obviously. Who else exists for the sole reason of tormenting me?'

'And what happened that made you wish to discuss him?'

'First of all, I don't _wish _to discuss him. I think it is necessary, if I want to _get rid_ of him', CC huffed and crossed her arms, 'Maybe not _get rid_, but at least understand what happened to make him act like a mad man towards me'.

'What do you mean by _mad man_?'

Her glare turned into a hurt look, 'He has been really evil, lately. The pranks are on the edge of physical violence, the zingers are too cruel and often come out of nowhere. There are days in which it seems he can't stand to see me: he says the most offending things and go away'.

'Have you done anything peculiar or different, that could provoke this reaction?'

'No!', she exclaimed and then shrugged, 'Unless you consider I'm letting my hair grow longer, and that I have changed some of my style in clothes… What I find highly improbable he has been concerned with'.

Bort wrote down about how CC thought of her decisions of changing her own visual as something Niles would never be interested in, even if he commented on the way she looked in a daily basis.

The patient added, giving a derisive snort, 'You know, I can understand Maxwell being at Nanny Fine's feet – rich men have this thing about sluts. But Niles... He should know better!'

Bort frowned at the jump in the line of thought: while thinking of how Niles didn't notice her, CC immediately brought on Maxwell's fascination by Fran Fine. She wrote that down, too, and 'How is it?'

CC was agitated, 'It's a world gone mad, if he thinks he must treat that nanny as a queen and a woman like me as trash'.

The Doctor knew that CC was disappointed on Maxwell, because he seemed trustful and kind of enchanted by Fran Fine and, if he was interested in someone like _her_, he would never have eyes for CC – they had had this discussion, already, in this same office. CC didn't consider herself the kind of woman who made men crazy just to look at – she has been more and more aware of her self image issues, but still struggled with them –, and being put in the shadows by someone as the nanny – with no class nor sophistication – was almost too much.

However, that troubled declaration was not about Maxwell. She sounded like she could understand and justify Maxwell's actions. However, seeing _Niles_ ally with the brunette was unforgivable, so it seemed.

Interesting.

The patient went on, 'He praises himself for his quick mind, and there he is, running after her to fix the stupid things she does'.

Bort decided to be bold, 'Maybe he is interested in her'.

'Yes, they are friends', the last word came out as if it was a curse.

'No, I mean _sexually_ interested'.

'Oh, please'.

'Does it sound improbable?'

'It's _impossible_'.

'Why?'

'For lots of reasons. First of all, Niles has been trying to marry her to Maxwell for three years and a half with the most ridiculous schemes. It's pathetic'.

'So, he doesn't find her attractive?'

'Maxwell does, but if they think it will be easy to make him act on it, they're very wrong. _I_ never got to...'

'I meant Niles'.

'Oh', a moment of thought, 'Well... If I take into account his comments on her body and how different it is from mine, yes, he finds her attractive'.

'He compares you to her, says she is more attractive and that she should marry Maxwell Sheffield?'

'In fact, he says that she is attractive, and that I don't qualify as a woman', CC shrugged, 'And yes, he thinks she is better suited for Maxwell than myself'.

'You're saying, then, that Niles is one of these men who serves his friends with total loyalty'.

'He is a servant. Loyalty is to be expected. I don't see what it has to do with him supporting that floozy'.

'It seems he decided not to pursue a woman he is attracted for, for the sake of his boss'.

'Niles is not _that_ attracted to her', CC furrowed her brow in concentration, 'I think she makes him horny; after all, as we have already discussed here, there was never a single adult woman living in that house for years, and he must have got a bit disturbed when she arrived, being the ridiculous lonely old maid he is'.

Bort wrote down that CC didn't count herself as a 'single adult woman' when Niles was concerned, even if she had talked like this about herself when Maxwell was concerned, 'So, why do you say he is not attracted to her?'

'Because he treats her as a little sister, most of the time. I mean, he compliments her body, and they tease each other with light sexual undertones, but these are something I always had with Noel, for example. Siblings do that. You can see there is nothing going on, there'.

The Doctor noted down that CC saw teasing and light sexual undertones as signs of affection, bonding and intimacy, without realizing the things she shared with Niles were similar to those.

_Very_ interesting.

Bort decided to insist in the point, 'How old are they?'

'Who?'

'Fran Fine and Niles'.

'Nanny Fine will make a secret of her age, but she must be thirty-something. I'm thirty two, and I'm almost positive she is a bit older than me'.

'And what about Niles?'

'Niles loves to say I must be forty. When he doesn't say I'm a century old, and I don't know what is worst'.

Bort noticed it was very difficult to CC to realize the conversation was not about the things Niles says, but about Niles himself, even if it was herself who asked for it. This promised to be difficult, 'I mean to ask how old is Niles'.

'Oh. He turns fifty next year', she grinned evilly, 'I can barely wait to point it out to him, by the way. Why?'

Bort wrote down the age difference and the fact CC knew exactly how old Niles was, and had expectations over his birthday, 'I just found intriguing that you always described Niles as being old, and then you said he sees Fran Fine as _a little sister_, not as _a daughter_. If he is old, they are not sexually involved, and I wanted to compare their relationship to a familiar one, I would think of a father. After all, he is even trying to marry her to a _good catch_', Bort noticed CC was surprised by that, and added, 'Now I understand he is not _that_ old'.

CC pouted, deep in thought, 'He _is_ an annoying grumpy old man. At least, he sounds and acts like one, most of the time'.

Bort smiled at that, 'Describe him to me'.

'Who?'

'Niles'.

'Niles?'

'Yes'.

'Why?'

'Aren't we discussing him?'

'Yes, but…'

'But?'

'What does his appearance have to do with the things he does to me?'

Bort smirked at that, 'The things _he does to you_?'

CC crossed her arms as if to defend herself, 'You know what I mean. The nasty… I mean, the bad things'.

Bort wrote it down and decided to let it go for the moment, 'I would like to draw a picture of him in my mind, based on how you see him, so I can have a clearer idea of what you've been dealing with'.

It was CC's time to smile, and she uncrossed her arms, 'I can bring you a shot of him, next time. I have some wonderful ones'.

'Yes?', Bort prodded.

'Some of the greatest ones are from the trip I went last year with the family. I didn't want to go, but Maxwell insisted he wanted everybody together. He can be so sappy, that man. I agreed, because it was in a very exclusive beach club, I love the sun, and I thought it had the slightest chance of being nice'.

Bort noted that CC mocked Maxwell for treating everybody as his family, while herself often referred to the group as _the family_.

'At the end, I was right: Nanny Fine insisted on Niles joining us by the pool, and wearing the swimming trunks she had given him. I thought he would die of embarrassment: the thing was very tight and had an animal print'.

Bort followed attentively as CC's face got excited over the memories.

'He made clear he was not comfortable, and then she commented she thought he would like it, once he had boxers with the same theme', she grinned, 'Maxwell started snickering, and I had to sip at my drink to contain the laughter. Niles threw himself in the pool and I sincerely thought it was an attempt to drown...', her face softened, 'I confess I had no mercy and joined Yetta on the task of ogling him for the entire afternoon…'

Bort wrote down a note about how joyful her patient got when she talked about Niles being funny and almost nude – whenever he was exposed, in fact –, about how she took opportunities to look at him and how much she enjoyed talking about him. She decided to tease her patient, 'This seems very entertaining, but I think I would prefer to see some shots where he is fully clothed. Do you have any like this?'

CC didn't notice the slight mocking tone, such was her giddiness at the subject, 'Oh, yes, I have. We went to lots of events, and he has dressed nicely for many of them. People asks for shots of me all the time, and he always sits close to me. I mean, he used to seat behind me whenever was possible, just to make something distasteful behind my head and ruin my image. To stop it I started waiting until he chooses his seat and sit myself besides him'.

Bort shook her head – yes, you could choose any other place to sit, but you decide the best way to stop a man from making horns at your head is sitting _besides_ him.

'He was surprised, in the beginning, but then he accepted I had found how to counteract him and admitted his defeat. We usually manage to get at least one decent shot, since then', she stayed smiling softly for a moment, and then added, 'Once a photographer appeared, I glared at him and Niles told me to behave, because it was time for _our official shot_. That's when I realized we had, besides the _dancing _truce, a _photograph_ truce going on'.

Bort wrote down about Miss Babcock having 'lots' of photographs with Niles, about her _gusto_ at reminiscing about him being nice, and proceeded, 'The photos could be interesting, but I still wish to see him through your eyes, first. Tell me about him'.

'Well…', CC seemed genuinely indecisive for a moment, as if she had never tried to verbalize some things about her called nemesis. After some pondering, she said, 'He is a butler, for starters, but I can't say he behaves as it was expected. He is around the house all day, and sometimes he seems omnipresent, appearing for no reason wherever the important things are happening. He uses the intercom to pry on other people's business, too, and he is generally well informed', she furrowed her brow, 'He is well read, too. I've seen him with the newspaper, and quoting books. He has studied at Eton and Oxford, with Maxwell, and I think they mentioned he got a degree in Law while he helped Maxwell with his studies…', she went silent, searching her memory, and then added in the same reminiscing soft tone, 'He is damn arrogant. He likes to imply he is more intelligent than everybody else. And he does a lot of work in the house, some days, while he acts lazy as hell, in others', she thought a bit before going on, 'His food is always delicious, and he dances and sings very well...', she thought a bit more, 'Sometimes he is very patient and understanding, and sometimes he is irritable and touchy… He is very instable, if you think about it'.

Bort waited for the silence to settle, making sure CC had finished her listing, and then asked, 'And what about physically?'

'What is it with you, today?', CC tilted her head and threw a look at the general direction of the therapist. Reassuming her previous comfortable position, she went on, 'He is as tall as myself, so, a bit shorter when I wear high heels – and one of the reasons why I wear high heels. He has blue eyes – deep blue. His hair is dark blond, and he never has it too short, what always surprised me – I expected a butler to sport more bland hair, but it seems he doesn't care about it. He never had a bear, for example, and I think it is all right, because he has a nice jaw...', she seemed lost in the thought for a moment, than added, 'He has such large shoulders and chest he seems to be fat, when he is wearing some of his suits…'

'And is he not?'

'He has been overweight, but it varies a lot. There are times in which he eats madly, and he goes up some pounds. Then he watches it, and goes back to being just strong. It's easy to see the difference when he doesn't wear the coat of his suit. In fact, when he is less chubby and more hunky, he puts the suit aside and wears a shirt and suspenders, for example… And, of course, you can always see how he is with the weight when he is wearing one of his aprons', she ended up the sentence and made a face, 'But I call him fat often, because he calls me, too, and so we're even'.

Bort noted down that CC was used to pay attention to Niles' clothes and was curious about his body, and that she knew a lot about him, 'So, Niles calls you fat?'

'He have called me a cow'.

'It is very offensive'.

'Yeah, but that's just what we do. What bothers me is when he compares me to Nanny Fine', CC moved her hands to explain herself, 'She uses those clothes that make it seem her waist is impossibly thin. I know the trick, and it's really a cheap one. She has a small waist, of course, but I have large breasts. I think I manage very well with what I have'.

Bort noted down that, again, CC was defending herself from something Niles had said. The Doctor went on, 'Every person is built differently. You could just point it out to Niles, instead of calling him fat just because he does so to you'.

The patient showed an evil smile, 'I prefer to point it out that Maxwell is younger, richer and thinner. _That_ makes Niles crazy'.

'So, you keep doing to him the things he does to you'.

'Yeah'.

'I don't see why you are bothered, then. You said you're even'.

'It should feel like this', CC said, very serious, 'In fact, I should feel above him, because not just Maxwell, but _I_ am richer and younger than him'.

'But?'

Silence. CC pondered for a long time about how to say what she had in mind. Bort knew it meant she was going to say something important.

The patient sighed, '_Things_ happened'.

'Things?'

'Yeah. Things I didn't tell you because I thought they would not matter. But now I think I must deal with them'.

'Yes?'

CC joined her hands on her stomach and wriggled them nervously, 'I noticed Niles had been eyeing me in a different way. I thought maybe he wanted to be back to that camaraderie we had before Sara passed away… I needed an escort for an event, I asked him, and he resisted but finally agreed and went with me'.

'Yes?'

'He behaved really nicely, that night. He was a gentleman, and didn't try to humiliate me in public. We had one dance, and I'm not a great dancer, but he leaded very well and I got to not embarrass myself. He even said nice things about me to a possible backer. I never thought I would see Niles saying I was competent. Of course, afterwards he alleged he was just defending his job while helping the company, but he never cared before, so I know he did complimented me sincerely'.

Bort stayed silent, just making short notes on her notebook.

'I relaxed around him. I thought he had decided to be in good terms with me, that we were back to that nice thing we had once'.

A pause.

'I started answering back to his zingers the way I used to do when Sara was alive… not to hurt, just to enjoy the game with him… and he seemed to notice, because he changed towards me…'

A new pause, and the therapist decided to prod, 'How?'

'He would talk to me as if I was a normal human being, not a villain… He was back to smiling at me…', CC breathed deeply, and added, 'Suddenly we were more teasing than offending, and then we were sharing things and having adult conversations, and then we were making the other laugh, and going to other events together, and dancing… and we kissed in the living room'.

Bort had to control her own surprise, and managed a plain, 'Yes?'

'I was confused as hell, because one thing is getting into civilized terms, or even establishing something similar to a friendship, other completely different was _that_. There was… real desire, in that'.

Bort had, again, to refrain from doing something – like congratulating her patient for being able to admit that out loud – and pressed on, 'Tell me more about it'.

CC bit her lower lip, collecting her thoughts for a moment, and then started, 'He had made a nasty prank and tricked me into clucking like a chicken – don't ask, I don't want to talk about it –, we drank some whisky together while trading zingers over what the other meant: I said I didn't use to drink with the help, he answered he had never been of any help to me, and we clank our glasses in agreement… I thought he would recognize it as a truce, once I had admitted he was not just a servant to me. I asked him what he used to do with his spare time before I came along… I felt an urge to make him talk about how he saw me… He said his life had been empty…'

Bort was at the edge of her seat at that, 'Yes?'

'For a moment, I thought we had an understanding, there. But then he added that now he had a hobby...'

Bort rolled her eyes.

'My blood boiled, we called the other names and we kissed, and there were explosions and fireworks and all that stupid stuff cheap romances describe'.

The therapist scribbled furiously on her notepad, 'When was that?'

'One year and a half ago, I think'.

Bort nodded at herself, writing down the dates and planning on re-reading all of her notes since then, to see things under this new light, 'And what happened next?'

'I decided to pretend nothing had happened. Maxwell and Nanny Fine caught us, Niles took me to the door, I went to the penthouse. No one has ever mentioned it again, so I thought it was all forgotten'.

'How were the interactions between the two of you, the next time you met?'

'It happened in a Friday night… I made sure not to call the mansion all weekend, and Monday morning I threw a zinger at Niles first thing, while he took my coat at the door, to show him things were back to normal'.

'And how did he react?'

'He didn't seem surprised, but he didn't go along as I expected: he didn't answer me on the spot, just looked at me seriously and went away, saying something about the family eating breakfast or whatever. I thought he had chosen not to comment on the matter, testing the waters to see if I would keep it normal. However, his behavior had a turn for the worse from then on', she shook her head, 'I don't remember him being so nasty since soon after Sara's death, in fact', CC sighed, 'And that is why I'm here telling you all these things – I don't want to be back to that point in our lives. I don't want us to go through that again'.

Doctor Bort wrote down the use of _us_, 'I see'.

'He went back to being aggressive, and the demeaning things he says about me are bordering on psychotic: sometimes he calls me a tramp, sometimes he says I don't get any sex; sometimes he calls me a decaying corpse, sometimes he says I have the widest ass in the world'.

Bort raised her brows at the childishness and pointed out, 'He seems pretty interested in your body'.

'Yes, to mock it'.

'And, still, he can't stay consistent'.

'He just wants to be abusive, not to put a good story together'.

'It means he doesn't want it to stick longer than the moment he says it'.

'What do you mean?'

'He may have a reason to say the things he does, but it's clear it's not a serious defamatory campaign, once he won't take care to build a believable story'.

'Ah. I think he just gets the kicks out of it. He enjoys going against me'.

'It's just against you? Or have you seen him being aggressive towards anyone else?'

'He is mocking, and often sarcastic, but not aggressive. It's just with me', CC snorted, 'I'm _that_ special to him'.

'Miss Babcock', Doctor Bort changed her position slightly, 'You are not satisfied by the current state of things. This _distinction _he created just for you is not what you want. Why?'

'I already said: because Niles has been too much, lately, even for our levels of antagonism'.

'But… what do you want?'

'I want…', CC started as if she had something ready to say, and then realized she didn't. She closed her mouth, thought for a while, and then spoke, 'I don't know. I just know I don't want things to be the way they are, now'.

'You want him to stop?'

'Oh, no. We both have fun at our games'.

'But?'

'But things must have a limit, and it seems he can't see he has gone beyond it'.

'So, you need a way to point it out to him when he does something off limits'.

'Yes, but I'm starting to think it won't make any difference. I have told him he is going too far. He doesn't care. I have menaced him, I have told him I would tell everything to Maxwell, I have threw things at him. Nothing worked'.

And the childishness never ended, it seemed, 'Maybe it's time for a new strategy'.

'Really?!', CC put a hand over her mouth in mocking surprise, 'I would have never thought of it!'

Bort ignored her, 'I have noticed a pattern: Niles does mean things, you answer in kind. Am I right?'

'Yeah, and it won't change. I can't let him have the last word'.

'But… why does the last word have to be mean? Why couldn't you say the contrary of what you have been saying until now?'

'Uhm?'

'What would happen if, instead of answering in kind, you surprised him with something different?'

'Like what?'

'A compliment, for example'.

CC tried to look at the therapist, in outrage, 'It doesn't make any sense. He would think I went crazy. Well, _I_ would think I had gone crazy'.

'Not necessarily', Bort pondered, 'You said he takes great pleasure into being seen as a _quick mind_. This may be one of the reasons why he throws zingers at you – he may think you must be reminded of who is the one with brains, around. Maybe he wants you to recognize him, and would be very surprised if you did it'.

CC settled again on the sofa and tilted her head, raising her brows in agreement, 'Well, there was that time when he made a joke and I said it was clever, and he was all happy, asking _Really? _with a foolish grin. He even thanked me. I found it very strange when he was harsh to me soon after, just because I turned the tables and mocked him… Now that you said it… if he expected me to acknowledge his wits, it would explain why he was furious'.

Bort noted it down that CC remembered in detail Niles' reactions to her comments, 'It seems he let his guard down enough to believe you were regarding him with admiration, and then you knocked him off his feet'.

'He should have known better than think I would do any different. That's what we do all the time'.

'However, you said he was happy when he thought you were complimenting his tirade', Bort said in the most delicate tone she could muster, to not frighten her patient, 'It means he has your opinion on him in high regard'.

CC's stare fixed in a point of the ceiling, and it was obvious she had realized how deep that implication changed the way she saw every thing Niles did daily. Gulping, she questioned, 'But it doesn't make any sense… Why would I change the game?'

'People do things that seem to be nonsense, but follow inner logic. You gave Niles reason to believe you were complimenting him. If he was disappointed at your mockery, it means he really believed you, and had been _hoping _for a good reaction. We could say he _was enjoying_ it, in fact', Bort waited for a moment and added, 'Maybe the same could be said about your other… positive interactions. As the kiss'.

'You mean…', CC started, stopped, frowned in deep thinking, and then resumed, '…that he expected me to act as a normal person around him, maybe admitting I find him funny when he is, or addressing what had happened… that night, as if I were there to share nice things with him and not be the witch he calls me all the time?'

'Maybe'.

She waved it off, 'He is really stupid, then'.

Bort had to suppress a smile at her patient crossing her arms again in defense, looked at her watch and suggested, 'Maybe he doesn't think your inner logic is _being a witch_, as he claims', Doctor Bort saw she had got CC's attention with that, by the wide eyes she was sporting, and added quickly, 'But what he really expects from you is something we can't know for sure, just speculate. I think our time is up'.

CC groaned her understanding and got up, throwing a dirty glare at the therapist: she hated when the Doctor threw something huge like that and ended the session.

It was like having homework, and therapy-related homework was never, ever easy.


	3. Bort and CC - Round 2

_I want to thank you people for the reviews. You're lovely. It took all of this time for me to update the story because work is a lot more demanding than usual. Sorry for that._

_Yes, EspoirDio: Bort's point of view is one of the things I enjoy in this idea, because she can kind of represent the people watching the show and noticing things. _

_Yes, legendof-thenanny: if we consider CC is working for Maxwell for more or less 20 years, there is no way she is 32 at seasons 3 or 4. _

_However, I like to think she arrived at, let's say, 21, with Niles being past his middle thirties at the time. For this story I'll have Maggie already born when CC came into the picture. The Math is not that good, but it puts more or less 12 years between CC's and Fran's arrivals, and more or less 15 years of age gap between Niles and CC. I think those numbers fit quite well for the concept of this story, even if they are not quite canon. _

**Therapy**

**Chapter 3: Bort and CC – Round 2**

Doctor Bort was not exactly surprised when CC Babcock required a second appointment in the same week. Her patient was so decided to have a conversation with her that she even accepted a shorter one, squeezed between other clients in regular schedules.

Once the treatment had reached the point where it currently was, with a subject that was taboo finally being faced, Bort thought she had to make space for her patient to come and talk.

'I decided to do experiments', CC said as soon as she entered the office.

'Experiments?', Bort asked, toning down her surprise, closing the door and going to her seat. She didn't take the notebook, yet, just threw a glance at it. Maybe this was one of those sessions when therapists would hear the patients venting out the anxiety, searching in vain for ways of solving quickly what bothered them.

Therapy was not about quick paths to perfect solutions, but Bort knew it was natural that people earned for anything that could bring them objective and practical answers to their sufferings.

CC laid down and got comfortable, 'I thought I should give Niles some nice words, here and there, and don't take them back. With the certain input, I hoped he would start to act accordingly'.

Bort raised one brow, 'You make it sound like you were to train a dog'.

'It's kind of like it. I give him positive reinforcement, he acts nicely, and so on'.

Bort decided to express some disagreement, 'Don't forget he is a human being, and human beings can be unpredictable. You can count on a reaction, but can't be sure of it'.

'_You_ tell me about Niles being unpredictable…', CC sighed, 'The fact is you made me think of that inner logic thing: if he doesn't see me as a total witch, he may have some hope of me treating him nicely. So, I thought: if I compliment him sincerely, I have a good chance of him seeing I'm not such a horrible person', she threw a look into the therapist's direction, 'At least, not to the point to deserve the things he has been telling me', a pause, and she added, getting comfortable again, 'Following this logic, he would stop being so harsh when he realized I was being genuinely nice'.

'You feel like you have to do something to test your hypothesis?'

'Yes, and this was the best idea I had', she pouted, 'But you're right about not being able to predict things. It didn't work as I planned'.

Bort raised her brows at the fact her patient had already acted on an idea the Doctor had expected to be just a possibility, until now. She took her notebook and opened it quickly to write down, 'Tell me about it'.

'It has gotten worse'.

'What?'

'His behavior. It seems I have managed to put Niles on edge. And not in a good way'.

'Good way?'

'Yeah', she grinned, 'As if he was going to jump'.

While CC chuckled to herself, Bort wrote down about how her patient really enjoyed to throw zingers at Niles, even if he was not present. In a way, she was bringing him to the conversation through the pleasure of mentioning him, 'And how do you feel about him being _on edge_?'

She got serious, 'It was unexpected. I have seen him nervous and agitated and confused, but that surprised me'.

'Tell me more about it'.

'Niles is usually… in control. He always says the right thing, always pulls the most complicated pranks as if he had a script well rehearsed. Many times I wondered how he was able to create such situations. It's incredible how competent he can be'.

'He surely puts a lot of effort in it'.

'In being in control? I guess so'.

'And why do you think it is?'

She frowned, 'He probably has this obsession with influencing things around him. He is not rich, but he is powerful, in this sense of being the Snoop Master and the Prank Genius'.

'But…', Bort inclined a bit into CC's direction, 'being in control is something you enjoy, too. Would that be the reason why you two seem to be at odds?'

'I have considered that, but it would mean he thinks he must control everything, including business, what I've never seen him trying to do', CC pursed her lips, 'I think it's just about showing he can do things'.

'And who is it he wants to see it?'

'Uhm?'

'When people want to show something, they usually have a public in mind. Have you ever thought about who is his preferred audience?'. Noticing CC had blinked and seemed to have difficulties processing the question, the therapist added, 'Let's think together. Tell me what exactly happened'.

The socialite relaxed and started reminiscing, 'I decided to start small, with something that wouldn't shock people. So, I did something I have already done in certain occasions: I complimented his cooking'.

'If you have already done it, what was the difference this time?'

'When I say it, I usually do in an exaggerated way, as if I was surprised his food is good. I think it may sound more as criticism than compliment, most of the times – as if I was pointing out that he had finally deserved a praise. So, when we were having lunch, yesterday, I said, _Niles, the mushroom risotto is delicious. Congratulations_. I made it serious, quick and simple, as I thought it should be to convey the message, and kept on eating'.

'What did he do?'

'He stayed silent and looking at me, as if he was waiting for the punch line. When I didn't deliver it, he carried on the serving, looking at me as if I would bite him any moment. Maxwell and Nanny Fine kept on talking, and Niles just stayed there, besides the serving table, looking at me warily'.

'I see', Bort wrote down that CC had probably spent a good part of lunch time watching Niles, if she was able to see he was watching her, 'What else happened?'

'At some point, Maxwell said something about being indignant over something Nanny Fine did, even if she swore she had informed him before doing. I think it had to do with the Big One, I don't know, I usually get bothered and loose track of their arguments. They are full of misunderstandings and it reminds me of the times when my parents discussed things in front of us and my mother would use every word my father said against him, and he would spent hours trying to explain what he meant and asking her to let the lawyers out of it'.

Bort noticed CC didn't mind having arguments with Niles, because the kind of thing they said to each other was never related to _implying_ the other was being wrong or disrespectful. They were _clear_ about it.

The therapist understood how important it was to CC knowing she had Niles to say things to her without any twists and turns. She made a note about a feminine figure who took the words a man said and made them seem the worst possible thing in the world (CC's mother), while other feminine figure heard the words a man said and couldn't accept they were not playful anymore, and had turned really offensive (CC herself).

The blonde went on, 'Niles pointed out that it was natural that sometimes a person _zoned out _when the subject was uncomfortable, what was a jab at Maxwell choosing to be obtuse about a lot of things that involved his children. I grinned and made a gesture of agreement, what made Maxwell all confused and Nanny Fine radiant'.

'And what about Niles?'

'He reacted as if I had insulted him: he frowned and said something about me being the expert in _zoning out_, once I hardly had any contact with the reality around me. See, this was not the kind of insult we usually throw at each other – it was not funny. It was a real one. He seriously meant I'm crazy'.

Bort wrote down that, in CC's point of view, the insults she traded with Niles served for amusement. So, she really couldn't understand why he seemed to use them lately as a way of plainly offend her. 'Maybe he didn't believe you'.

'But I was sincere! I said it in a natural tone, as if he deserved to hear it, and I didn't take anything back! What was he thinking?!', she huffed in annoyance and crossed her arms, 'He had made one of my favorites, and the remark about Maxwell hit the nail in the head. I had no reason to _pretend_ everything was all right – it was!'

The therapist found it interesting that CC associated _all right _with things Niles had said and done, changed her position in the chair and asked, 'Usually, when you are nice, why is it?'

CC frowned in thinking, but didn't take long to answer, 'Because I want something from someone'.

'And there were other people around when you made your comments'.

'Yes. Maxwell and Nanny Fine'.

'What if Niles thought you were pretending a new attitude just to, let's put it like this, _impress_ Mister Sheffield or play with his mind in front of the other adults of the house?'

CC stayed thinking about it for a while, then pursed her lips, 'Well… I have done that, before. I have been nice as a pretense for Maxwell's sake…'

Bort smirked, 'You should have tried it while you were alone'.

'All right, I'll do it'.

'I didn't say you _should_ do it'.

'I know, but I like the idea. I mean, the look on Niles' face was priceless. He didn't know what to do with himself when he realized there was something different going on'.

The therapist wrote down that CC had intense pleasure at the idea of Niles being vulnerable before her, 'You seem to enjoy surprising him'.

The patient smiled excitedly, 'I love it when I got some reaction out of him. Niles is not half as reserved as Maxwell, but he likes to act as if he is unaffected by the things that go in the house. It gives me a thrill to play with him like that and put him at a loss'.

Doctor Bort smiled at the confession, and challenged, 'Then, why didn't you choose something more personal? That would really be a shock to him'.

'What do you mean?'

'Have you praised the fact he prepared one of your favorites?'

'No…'

'The food is something he does because he has to; however, preparing one of your favorites is a distinction. Even if he didn't know you like it – and he probably does, because it's the kind of thing a man with his job must pay attention to –, he would know you meant it if you made clear you notice when he prepares the things you like'.

Bort stopped talking and realized her reasoning sounded very similar to couple counseling: what was lacking between Niles and CC was that they showed real appreciation for the little gestures the other did in a daily basis. That kind of thing often happened to couples who have lived together for some time, taking for granted the small day to day gestures and stopping giving them the praise they deserved.

CC nodded in agreement, 'I see… He would never be prepared for me to say I understood the extension of the care needed to make one of my favorites when he knew I was going to have lunch at the mansion'.

That was better than the Doctor expected, 'He knew you would be eating at work?'

'Yes. He went to the office to ask, in the middle of the morning'.

'So, he went to ask if you would stay for lunch and, once he knew you would, he decided to prepare one of your favorites?'

CC had her eyes wide for a moment, 'Damn, now I see how much of an opportunity I've missed. It was clear he had chose to prepare the dish after he knew I was staying. I could have easily insinuated he did it for me. If I had done it while we were alone, he would squirm but not have an assistance for his little show of being offended… Damn!'

Bort suppressed a long suffering sigh at the fact her patient didn't think Niles could have prepared something _because_ of her, but decided it was not the moment to point it out, once she had another interesting thing to stress, 'So, things would be different if _you_ were his audience?'

'Yes, he would have to… Well, I don't know what he would have done', she thought for a moment, 'But now I see what you meant when you said he must want to show something to someone. This someone is often myself… I should have done things in a way that made clear it was just between us, if I wanted him to get it…'

Bort nodded, while writing about how CC had realized she was the main target of Niles' actions, even if she still considered just the evil ones, 'And about the witty remark: did you really agree with what Niles said about Maxwell Sheffield?'

'Yes!', she answered, excited, 'That's why Nanny Fine dominates the house – Maxwell really zones out when he feels embarrassed by something. She seizes the opportunities to acts as she thinks is better, and he thinks he has the right to feel offended, like she should have consulted him even when he pretends he has nothing to do with the subject'.

'You didn't make clear you agreed with Niles, did you?'

'Of course not. What Maxwell would think?', CC realized she was again trying to preserve her image before the producer, and made a face, 'I just wanted to acknowledge it was a good point, not to make people look weird at me'.

Bort knew it was too daring to say that her reaction meant CC thought of Maxwell as someone with less qualities than Niles, once she had just admitted Niles saw the situation a lot more clearly than his boss, and that she was really bothered at Niles _looking weird_ at her, when she was able to made sure Maxwell didn't. The Doctor chose to offer a suggestion, 'You could have done it later. You have seen Niles again, didn't you?'

'I didn't go to the kitchen for some hours, because I had lots of things to do in the office, with Maxwell being all agitated with Nanny Fine's shenanigans. Obviously, I went there close to the end of the day, to see how things were. And Niles was still furious and throwing the most infuriating jabs at me'.

Bort wrote it down that CC found it natural she went to the kitchen to see Niles and assess his feelings towards her, 'Again: he likes to be recognized by being clever. He struggles to prove it to you every day, but he has some difficulties to believe you're admitting he has achieved something. Yesterday, you tried to be nice, but didn't show him clear enough what your new behavior meant'.

That created a great impression. 'Do you think it would be a step ahead if I had told him we shared an opinion?'

'Especially if the opinion was about Maxwell Sheffield, a man you always told Niles you thought was far superior to him'.

'I see…'

Bort noticed her patient was deep in thought. The woman seemed to be processing things a lot quicker than usual, and maybe what the Doctor always pondered – that Niles was the key to a lot of her issues – was very close to the truth.

The therapist looked at her watch to see how much time they still had, saw it was not much, and spoke, 'About conducting experiments: when you change variables, it is expected to alter the results. So, if you decide to keep on doing these… tests, you must be prepared to be surprised yourself'. A pause to let the comment register, 'Our time is up'.

The blonde got up with a very serious and contemplative expression, making the therapist sure she had given food for her thoughts.


	4. Bort and CC - Round 3

_Hi, folks!_

_I want to tell you that I've been working on this story, even if my job is still so demanding I don't have all the time I wish I had to write every day._

**Therapy**

**Chapter 4: Bort and CC – Round 3**

'You won't believe it!', CC exclaimed as soon as her head hit the cushion of the therapist's sofa.

'What happened?', Bort asked, taking her trusty notebook and getting ready for astonishing news, if CC's agitated state and wild gestures were any indication.

'Now he is acting strange, _all the time_, around me'.

'Niles?'

'Who else?!'

Bort raised her brows – yes, who else?, 'Tell me what happened'.

'I did as we had talked: I waited patiently for the occasion to give him a sincere compliment, when we were alone. I thought it would be a good idea if I waited for him to say something that I agreed again, because it would sound creepy if I just resumed a conversation from another day', she shrugged, 'I knew I wouldn't have to wait long, anyway'.

The therapist wrote down that CC trusted Niles to say things she agreed in a daily basis, and that it was really interesting if you consider the last time it had happened, both agreed on a flaw on Maxwell Sheffield's character.

Besides that, it was interesting to note the approach was still a very rational one: her patient seemed confident she had control over the situation, when she planned it. Bort was prepared to follow the process that leaded to the emotional turmoil the blonde was in, when she arrived today.

'He went to the office with Nanny Fine, and I was alert and ready to act. I mean, it has been a while since he had come to the office by his own volition, and I was glad to finally have the opportunity'.

Bort nodded to herself at CC making clear how much she had been waiting for Niles to appear and give her the right cue.

'That woman started whining about something, and the story went on and on, and I just went back to the contracts I was reading, resigned to loose Maxwell to whatever was happening. But then, I heard Niles' voice, and I was paying attention again'.

This time Bort shook her head: as a therapist, she should not take sides or intend to give advice, but it was getting painfully obvious how invested on Niles her patient was, and how much she craved the things about him. Maybe it was for the better that CC Babcock had decided to make experiments, after all – at least, she was acting on her feelings and needs, even if she didn't see them clearly.

'…I just got it was about Maxwell again. Niles was telling him to choose between what the tramp was suggesting and calling Andrew Lloyd Webber to congratulate him on an award', CC smirked, 'Obviously, Niles intended to corner Maxwell into doing what Nanny Fine wanted; it was a check-mate move'.

Bort didn't need to write down how CC admired Niles. It had been obvious for a while, and her notes would start repeating themselves.

'I didn't show any reaction, this time. Even when Niles turned to me and said my silence meant I was so old I couldn't hear a word that was being said around me, I didn't answer – just made a gesture of acknowledgement and pretended I was back to the papers. I saw him get antsy, but resisted and waited for the moment when we would be alone'.

Bort noticed that, if CC had seen Niles disturbed and had to resist answering him, it meant she was not exactly happy with the situation. Maybe she had an urge to put him at ease, going back to their usual banter, what was an interesting twist. 'And the moment came'.

'Yes, it came. I went to the kitchen, he was at the sink, I put my mug on the island and told him _I usually don't admit it, but that one was true_'.

'And?'

'And he stopped fussing with whatever he was doing and looked at me as if he hadn't heard me right. He even asked, in that annoying accent, _I beg your pardon?_'

Bort smiled at the imitation, remembering CC had said how much she liked British accents, one occasion when it was expected she would say _Maxwell's _accent. She had noticed, too, that CC had acted as if Niles should be aware of what she was talking about, even if she had arrived in the kitchen and just thrown some vague words. It seemed CC expected Niles to know what she meant – as if he should be as obsessed by the things he said as herself , 'And you explained what you meant?'

'Yes!', her agitated state came back full force, 'I sounded as calm as I could, saying I was referring to the comment he had made in the office. I even complimented him on using the _Webber_ card', the socialite crossed her arms, 'I thought I had conveyed the idea that there was nothing wrong about me telling him we agreed on something'.

'It was not wrong, but different'.

'Yeah, whatever. What matters is that he grew more and more confused, and kept looking at my face as if I was speaking in a foreign language and he had to find some clue of what I meant'.

'It's an interesting metaphor for your misunderstandings'.

'Uhm?'

'Niles knew you meant something important, and that he had to decipher it; he made the effort, looking for visual hints; and still, he couldn't make it, because he couldn't make sense of the words you were saying'.

'But it was not a foreign language…'

'Are you sure you speak the same language? Don't you feel, sometimes, like you two use words that mean completely different things to the other?'

'Yes… Especially lately. I always thought our zingers were… I don't know… our way to communicating. But he has been offending me, keeping things one-sided, as if he was not listening to me, anymore…'

Bort saw the familiar wide-eyed expression on her patient's face, indicating some glimpse of revelation, and waited for some moments before prodding, 'Let's go ahead. He was trying to understand you, and then?'

CC cleared her throat and adjusted on the sofa, 'Suddenly, something… _changed_ in him. I saw it clearly'.

Bort noticed the hesitation, and understood the moment had been difficult for CC, and that reminiscing about it made her upset, 'Yes?'

'I was a menace'.

The therapist raised her brows, 'Why do you say that?'

'He looked at me in the way he does when someone does something so crazy he has no idea what to do. I've seen him making that face to Nanny Fine and her family some times; almost never to Maxwell, because Niles is proud of managing Maxwell's rare outbursts. It usually happens when he is at a total loss, but he recovers quickly…'

'Did he _recover_, this time?'

'No', CC had a sad expression, 'He was not just surprised or confused, as I have seen him before. He was not even wary I would change the tables at any moment. It was like he really thought I could… _hurt _him. And not in a good way', she bit her lower lip, 'It seems it is worst when I'm nice, because now he is looking at me as if he had to measure everything he does around me', she sounded annoyed, 'He was silent most of the time, since then!'

'Well, then you have succeeded'.

'What?'

'You wanted him to stop the verbal abuse. You got it'.

'No, I didn't'.

'You said he was feeling menaced and got silent'.

'Yes, and it's not _Niles_. Not the Niles I know. Not the Niles I want'.

Bort opened her mouth to comment on that, but decided against saying any word before CC herself dealt with such a huge thing.

The blonde sighed, 'It sounds crazy, doesn't it? I mean, I said I wanted him to stop the insulting things because they got too much, and then I'm complaining because he got silent and I feel like I want something from him…', she closed her eyes, 'Like I _need_ something just Niles can give me…'.

The therapist waited again, giving CC time to get used to the idea. When she opened her eyes, Bort went on, 'Do you feel worse about him being silent? Worse than when he offends you, I mean?'

'I feel bad about him being silent, yes, because I can't recognize the Niles I was used to. It's almost as if I know I can trust him if he is communicating'.

'Even if it is abusive?'

'It didn't sound as if it was _just _abusive, before. It seemed there was something else going on. Even if I didn't know what was happening, we shared that', she huffed, 'Now he stays silent for _most_ of the time, what would be unsettling enough; and then it seems to be too much for him, and he blurts out a lot of really awful things'.

Bort wrote down about CC thinking of that _thing_ they had between them, and the fact she couldn't name it, and decided to ask about the circumstances of Niles' extreme changes of behavior, 'Does it happen when you are alone?'

'He does all he can to not be alone with me and, when there are other people around, he treats me as if I was the most disgusting person he has ever met', she gulped, 'It is almost as if I was forcing him to choose between pretending I don't exist and hating my guts'.

'This is very intriguing', Bort pondered.

'I'm curious to know why', CC half-mocked, half-pleaded for an explanation.

Bort relented, 'It seems Niles can't decide how to show his feelings of uncertainty and, let's say it, fear: he sometimes chooses to keep a low profile, as if to hide from you in plain sight; and, sometimes, he chooses to attack you, as if his only option is to intimidate you'.

'Isn't it?!', CC opened her arms, 'He feels menaced, and I can't understand why he is reacting like this exactly when I'm trying to be nice', she crossed her arms again and frowned, 'Even with the foreign language idea in mind, it's hard to explain why he won't even think that maybe it's safe to believe me. Am I so horrible?', Bort just observed while CC went on and on, 'Yesterday Maxwell had to ask him to get out of the office, because he would mock every single thing I said. And I gave him no real reason – I was just talking about work and Niles kept interrupting to call me fat, a hooker, stupid and whatever he thought fitted in the moment'.

'So, his reaction to you being nice is being more aggressive'.

'Yes'.

'How do you feel about it?'

'I'm at a loss!'

'Stop looking for explanations, or any reasoning. Try to access your feelings: what does his reactions to you make you feel?'

CC went silent and, when she spoke again, her voice faltered, 'It gives me a… an empty feeling. I miss something. I don't know what it is, I just know it is about him and the things he represents to me'.

Doctor Bort observed her patient closing her eyes again for a moment, in an attempt to control her emotions, and said softly, 'He may just feel uncomfortable and not know what to do with your new attitude'.

The woman gulped down the emotion, 'I can't understand him, and it drives me nuts. He was always unpredictable, but this is ridiculous: why can't he believe in me when I act nice?'

Bort insisted softly, 'Maybe he believes, but doesn't know what to do with it'.

CC shook her head, 'It makes no sense. If he believed, he would be using my goodness against me, or plotting something really nasty to make me regret the change. It would bring things back to normal, if he didn't like the way they are now', she shook her head, saddened, 'It seems he can't stand me, no matter what I do'.

Bort noticed the sadness and wrote it down, 'He is acting like a frightened animal, in fact: running away when possible, attacking when cornered'.

CC got furious again, 'What bothers me is exactly the hysterics: he is probably in panic at the thought I know something he doesn't, and that I'm acting on it before he realizes what is happening'.

Bort frowned at this new theory and decided to move on, 'Once we can just speculate about Niles' reactions now, let's focus on your needs for a while'.

'That would be nice', CC shrugged, 'He must have something against me, and I have no clue what it is, for the time being'.

Bort knew that topic was not closed, but persevered in the search for another angle of attack, 'Let's get back to the feelings that Niles' actions bring in you. When he insults you, how do you feel?'

'Eager to get back at him', her eyes shone, 'Our games can be fun! There are… there were days in which we would trade zingers through the house as if we were characters in a sitcom with great writers: it is perfect!'

'However, lately it is not what has been happening', Bort smirked, 'And you haven't named the feeling you have now'.

CC closed her mouth and thought hard. After some time, she spoke slowly, 'Well… I used to think he made me feel… disrespected. Now I now it's not it. I feel _betrayed_'.

'As if he should…?'

'When he started acting awful, I didn't just stop talking to him – I kept exchanging zingers and pretending I haven't noticed the change. I wished to do something for… us, and I thought the better was treating it as a phase. I have never done something like this for anyone – when people do something I don't like, I crush them', CC's eyes were saddened, and she joined her hands on her stomach, 'It hurts me he can't believe it to the point he reacts as if I am just waiting for the right moment to attack'.

'But the feeling you mention is _betrayal_, not _offense_'.

'Exactly: what bothers me is the fact he is doing things that don't make sense to our previous relationship. I don't get offended because I know there is something wrong in this – as if he is sick, or temporarily insane, and I must help him reach his balance', CC sighed, 'Maybe I'm totally wrong, and he is being sincere now, and just plain showing how he really hates and despises me'.

Bort rolled her eyes and then schooled her voice, 'We have already commented here that Niles always acted as if he considered you a different kind of person. We have talked about how much he seeks your attention, too, and that he doesn't try to manipulate you in the same basis he does to other people'.

'…yes'.

'We have established he seeks some kind of recognition from you, and we have established he doesn't see you as he sees everybody else'.

'It sounds as if he considers me _above_ other people, what is absurd'.

'It's not, if you think that he is _afraid_ of your nice words'.

CC frowned deeply, 'I still don't get it'.

'Has Niles had any self-esteem problems that you know of?'

She pondered for some moments, and her face was illuminated by a memory, 'I remember him dancing by himself when he thought the house was empty. He was in his underwear, I arrived with no warning, and I must say I had a good surprise…'

'Why? Is he such a good dancer?'

CC grinned, 'Yes, Doctor, he is… and with very nice legs, I must say…'

Bort smiled, 'Have you told him so at the occasion?'

'Of course not! He threw me a zinger – _You realize, of course, now I'm going to have to kill you_, and I just teased him as much as I could about how ridiculous he was… I had to pretend I was not interested and went to the office, but it was difficult not to challenge him to give me a little show in exchange for my silence…', she shook her head to get away from the memory and went serious, 'Anyway, what I meant to say was that sometimes he is confident and proud of himself, and then he goes moping around about how fat and old and poor he is…'

'And then he balances it by calling you fat and old?'

'And snob. Yes'.

'Maybe that is why he reacted so badly at your change in behavior: he is used to bring you down to what he thinks is his level, and then suddenly you are raising him to yours'.

CC was wide eyed, 'Damn…'

Bort prodded, 'Yes?'

'Do you think his inner logic is fighting his own insecurities all the time? That he can't believe I'm being nice because, some way, I managed to convince him I would never be nice to him because he is not worth it? And then he is in panic because he really thinks I'm just building a trap?'

'It's a good assumption'.

CC huffed, 'But we can't be sure, I know. I'll need another experiment'.

'And how do you intend to conduct it?'

'I need to think of the details, but I must make clear to him I consider him worth. Someway I'll have to show him what we have between us is especial, but it can work just if he trusts me'.

Bort had to wait for a moment to talk, or the grin would reach her voice, 'What do you intend to reach as results?'

'If he trusts me, he will stop being the crazy person he has been, because if he thinks I consider him an equal, he won't have the need to put me down'.

'And what do you think he will do, once he gets over his need to put you down?'

'Maybe he will be back to being the Niles he was when we met… the one that would play with me, but not try to hurt me… I don't know. Maybe I miss Sara and everything we had, and I'm trying to reach for something that is not there, anymore'.

Bort waited for a moment for CC let the sudden tears run down, and then said softly, 'I think it's very important that you mentioned Sara, once the first time Niles changed radically towards you was soon after her death'.

CC sniffed, 'Yes, it was'.

'People grieve in different ways. Maxwell refused any emotional interaction; Margareth turned shy and quiet. Brighton pulled pranks; Grace created an imaginary friend; you tried to occupy some of Sara's roles… How did Niles grieve?'

CC frowned, 'I don't know… I don't remember him for long in the wake… He was probably organizing things for Maxwell and Sara's family. I just remember him at the cemetery: he was very serious and solemn, looking around all the time, as if he had to take care of everything. He stayed by Maxwell's side, and when it was over, he took him by the arm and leaded him to the car…. I remember Niles turning and I felt he was looking for me, but I couldn't face anyone, or I would cry, and I didn't want to cry… I turned away and went home alone, without talking to anyone. I even disconnected my phones, for the next days, after he called me that night and left a message about making sure I was all right. I called the mansion and curtly informed him not to worry and be back to his business, because Maxwell needed him. I remember he was silent for a moment, and then just wished me a good day and rang on'.

'So… You never saw Niles showing his pain, as much as you never showed him yours'.

'I thought my pain was obvious enough. I was friends with Sara, and I don't have friends'.

'And how was his relationship with Sara? Was he just a servant?'

'No! Sara relied on him a lot. He was a lot more present than Maxwell, in fact, and he had to teach her how to deal with a lot of things related to children', CC smiled fondly, 'I remember once he ordered her to stop fussing with something, because _he was the trained professional in the room_, and she burst into laughter and hugged him… And she told him, _CC said it all – it's suspicious how you're always right_. I was at the door of the nursery, they had not seen me, and I remember he looked at her and grinned in that foolish happy way, asking her _She said that?_

Bort inclined into her patient's direction, 'So, you have elements that point to Niles being interested in your opinion on him a long time ago. And you have elements to believe he had a strong bond with Sara, and had to grieve alone'.

'Everybody had to grieve alone, with Maxwell being closed in himself'.

'Mister Sheffield grieved alone?'

'He never let anyone near him'.

'But you tried'.

'You know I've tried! I stayed around, I did what I could for him, I invited him to go out, I offered massages, I…', CC facepalmed, 'Damn!'

Bort waited for a moment and added, 'Yes, Maxwell had you, and the children had Niles. After one year, you were back, here. Who took care of Niles?'

CC went silent for a long time, visibly shaken.

The therapist asked softly, 'What are you thinking?'

'That… He was alone, through all of that. I mean, when he looked at me in the cemetery, I went away because I didn't want him to see how fragile I was. And, in fact, it could have been him asking for help. He had all the burden on his shoulders, after all…', she covered her face with her hands, 'Damn… I never realized…'

'You always said he changed after that'.

'I never thought things could be related… I was so focused on helping Maxwell to get out of his shell and not to let the business close that I guessed Niles was jealous of the attention Maxwell was giving me…'

'However, Maxwell was not giving you any attention. _You_ were giving attention to Maxwell'.

CC was wide-eyed, 'It means Niles… could be jealous… of me?'

'You have changed, turned all of your attention to another man, and Niles didn't seem to take it well', Bort shrugged, 'You draw your own conclusions'.

A new silence. Then, the blonde spoke with certainty, 'Now I changed again, and he may be having a déjà vu – thinking every time I change it means I'm betraying him…'

'You used the idea of _betrayal _again', Bort pointed out, deciding to be bold, 'As if you two were in a relationship based in trust'.

CC went silent one more time and, when she spoke, her voice was low and trembling, 'The other possibility to express it is that I have _abandoned_ him when he needed me most', the tears ran down again, 'And it hurts as hell to think I have been that cruel to him'.

'You relied so much on his strength it didn't occur to you that he could need you'.

'I severed whatever bonds we had established while Sara was alive. What kind of person am I, if I simply forgot to consider the needs of a person that has turned so important to me through the years?', CC made an effort to speak, 'Maybe he is right in fearing me. I really can hurt him. I've done it before'.

Bort reached down for a box of tissues and handed them to CC. When she felt her patient had calmed down a bit, she said, 'It seems you have a new element to work, now'.

'Yes', CC answered, the rational side of the situation making her sound more like her confident self again, 'The ball is in my court. I have failed with Niles once, and now I must make sure he knows I won't do it again'.

'Do what?'

'Hurt him'.

'What have you done to hurt him, then?'

'I have left him alone'.

'How?'

CC thought before answering, 'I didn't let us get close enough'.

Bort let the enthusiasm show in her voice, 'That's a very interesting way to phrase it, Miss Babcock'.

'And you'll probably say now our time is up, so I can go home with that huge thing to deal with'.

The Doctor smirked at the teasing and answered in kind, 'If you think you're not able to cope with it, you can still stay for a while'.

CC swung her legs to the side of the sofa, sat up and squinted at her therapist, 'Don't start with me, you quack. I have a lot to think about, and I'm perfectly capable of doing some of the thinking by myself'.

Bort got up, 'I'm glad to hear it'.

CC mirrored her and added, with a surprisingly excited smile, 'Me, too'.


	5. Bort and CC - Round 4

**Therapy**

**Chapter 5: Bort and CC – round 4**

CC Babcock seemed deeply disturbed when she entered her therapist's office.

Bort observed her tense body language and furrowed brow, and knew something important had happened. It was one week since their last session, and the Doctor assumed the lack of an asking for extra appointments meant nothing out of ordinary was happening.

It seemed she had been wrong.

She waited for CC to lay down and asked, 'Is there something the matter?'

'Yes. The craziest thing happened'.

'Let's talk about it', the Doctor answered, taking her notebook and a pen and crossing her legs to get comfortable and focused.

CC went right to the point, 'I kept being nice. I praised him – yes, _Niles_, before you have to ask – every time I found it sounded natural. I took care to not trail after him or do anything that would make him suspicious or frightened, but I said sincere and nice words every chance I had. I engaged in civilized and adult conversation here and there, too, what is more than I have ever made it in my life. And I always made sure we were alone, and tried to show him I was being reasonable and that it was not changing'.

Bort smiled and wrote down about how invested CC really was in this plan, what was made obvious by the detailed list of 'good behavior' items she had managed to develop.

'He was still wary, but seemed to get used to what I said and stopped fidgeting too much every time I entered a room. So, one beautiful morning, I decided to add… physical praises', the patient blushed and, before the therapist could say anything, she added, 'I know it sounds strange, but I thought he would like it. I mean, it felt like the obvious next step: I had been saying he was clever, funny, perceptive and competent. What was lacking was the part where he is a man… not just interesting in one sense of the word, but… quite handsome, too'.

'It is not comfortable for you, I see'.

'Obviously not', CC made a face, 'But I thought he was worth it. After our last session, I've been reevaluating my need of saying things to demean him. I reached the conclusion I don't get the thrill of it I used to have, now I'm aware of how cruelly I have treated him through the years, and how well intentioned he may have been, through a good part of it'.

Bort praised CC in her mind for doing so much advance by herself, 'Which praise did you choose to start the physical ones?'

'I said the blue apron was nice on him, because it brought out his eyes'.

'Uhum. And did he react well to this new approach?'

'No!', CC pursed her lips at the thought, 'We were in the kitchen, he was washing some dishes, I entered, observed him and spoke; he stopped what he was doing and told me… to stop it'.

'Was he angry?'

'It was what I expected him to be, but no, he was not angry. He was not wary, anymore, either, or in that panic we have mentioned here, before. He was… _desperate_'.

'Why do you say that?'

'He washed his hands hurriedly and dried them on the apron, and then took it off as if it was a dirty thing, and threw it on the island. When he spoke, it was without looking at me, with a pained expression and a tone of voice that was… _pleading_. He ran away through the backstairs, as if he couldn't stand staying near me. I had never seen Niles act like that'.

'And what do you think happened?'

'Wait – I didn't finish the story yet. You must hear what happened next'.

'Go on, then'.

'I felt confused, because I thought I was not doing anything wrong, and still he hated me. Even if I kept being civil while there were other people around, and was all right with complimenting him when we were alone, or pointed out when I agreed with him or when he did something nice. And now, I had mentioned he looked good, and there he was, running away'.

'I see. What did you do?'

'I went back to the office and, when I reached the living room, Niles was there with Nanny Fine, and he looked at me as if I was a monster, excused himself and got out of the room. It was so obvious Nanny Fine noticed and asked what I had done to him, because he seemed _scarred_', she raised a finger, 'That was the word she used – not scared, but _scarred_. Even the tramp seemed to think I am the kind of person who hurts the ones around me'.

Bort found it interesting that CC never minded being seen as a cruel person – only when Niles was at stake.

'That got me furious, but kind of empowered, too – I had made him retreat twice, in front of witnesses, and it seemed I had some advantage. So, I wanted a next round. I had a plan in my head'.

'A plan?'

'Yes. It was my chance to make Niles pay for the years of abuse and harassment – he was lost, and I had to advance before he gathered himself again. I couldn't figure him out, anyway, so a little revenge seemed suitable'.

'So?'

CC pursed her lips, 'Now comes the part of the story I want you to pay attention'.

Bort raised an eyebrow at the implication she didn't pay attention to everything her patient said. However, she didn't take it to heart, because she knew CC's language was not smooth all the time. The woman had developed a whole relationship with a man through zingers, after all, 'I've noticed it got you agitated. I'm listening'.

'You'll understand it all in a moment', CC breathed deeply and resumed the tale, 'I was in the office, working with Maxwell. It was already afternoon, Niles had been absent for a good part of the day and kept creepily silent during lunch. I decided to act and asked Maxwell to call Niles for tea. I wanted that damn butler there, so I would have the opportunity to mess with him'.

'To mess with him was obliging him to serve you and Maxwell'.

'It was not exactly that. I thought I had the right to have some satisfaction from him, yes, because he was treating me horribly, with the silence and the flights. But I wanted to see what he would do if he had to be near me after what I had said. I still haven't had the opportunity, because he had fled both times, since the _apron_ episode. And the only way that occurred to me was making Maxwell to boss him around', CC threw a look at the therapist, 'I swear I didn't plan on using Maxwell in any way against Niles. I'm over it'.

Bort smiled, 'All right. Then, what happened?'

CC rested her head again, 'Maxwell, as always, haven't noticed anything, and just called Niles through the intercom. You should have heard his tone when he answered: he grunted about not having any hot water because he was too tired to go to the well. It was just the stupidest excuse I have ever heard from him', CC shook her head, 'He spoke as if going to the office was a punishment he had to avoid at any cost'.

'And it was. Or do you think he was not aware of your irritation?'

'Yes, he probably was. I am not known for my subtlety', CC made a face at that, and went on, 'He knew I was in the office, and at Maxwell's insistence, had the nerve to say he simply didn't want to go there. Maxwell found it amusing, and told him to stop being grumpy and bring us the damn tea. Niles groaned an agreement, and I felt even more annoyed', CC closed her eyes.

'Why?'

'Because it all sounded stupid. I just wanted him close to me, and he kept acting like a child'.

'So… you acted nice to bring him closer?'

'Yes, I do', CC opened her eyes, 'I can't deny it anymore. If our theories are correct, he teases me for the same reason I tease him: because we want the other's attention'.

'However, when you act nice, it gets the opposite effect'.

'Yes, and that makes me crazy'.

'Go on. Did he come to the office with the tea?'

'Yes. With the tea and Nanny Fine', CC huffed at the memory, 'When she entered in front of Niles, asking Maxwell something and introducing him to her nonsensical adventure of the day, I was certain that Niles himself had called her, just to make sure the office was crowded'.

'It must have made you even more unsettled'.

'The word is _furious_, Doc. My mind had been reeling with strategies to corner Niles as soon as possible, and now it seemed like he had the upper hand, because even if I had managed to bring him to the office, he had counterattacked with that tramp for a human shield', CC's face got troubled, 'But his plan backfired'.

'Yes?', Bort was all ears, because if Niles' plan had _backfired_, it meant CC recovered the upper hand, but didn't seem happy with it. What was very interesting.

'Nanny Fine had Maxwell to follow her out to call her mother, God only knows why, and I was left alone with Niles in the office'.

'Uhm…'

'When he realized what had happened, he started quickly gathering things to put them on the tray. He was going to get out as soon as possible, and I didn't know if I found it funny or revolting'.

'Yes?'

'I was quicker and, before he could take the tray from the desk, I got up from the sofa and closed the door'.

'I guess he must have felt _cornered_, as you wished. How did he react?'

'He had his back to the door, fussing with the tray and, when he heard it click, he froze and looked ahead. Then, he threw a look at the glass doors, and for a moment I thought he was going to flee through there, and I gave some steps closer. I didn't know what I would have done if he tried to run away, because it seemed absurd that I tried to physically block him'.

'You had already done something like this when you closed the door'.

'Yes, but it's different if I had to… touch him'.

'Why?'

'Because we rarely touch directly. We usually pass things to the other, or touch through brushes of fingers, or through layers of clothes. I feared I had to wrestle with him in that office. I was genuinely annoyed, that day, and was not sure what I would do if… No, wait: I was not sure _how _I would end up touching him. What if I lunged at him, threw him at the floor and straddled him? It's not like I have never fantasized about it, but I was not sure I wanted to do it because he was infuriating me… I don't know if I'm making sense'.

'You mean you desire to touch Niles, but it felt wrong to do it out of annoyance or irritation'.

'Yes, that's it! Hate didn't get us anywhere in a decade, and I didn't see why it would be different, now'.

Bort wrote down about CC finally admitting her desire and speculating the source of it was not a bad feeling, and circled the idea to use it later, 'I see. Proceed'.

'Well, he must have sensed me getting closer. He squared his shoulders, walked calmly to the side of the desk, put the tray on it and asked, without looking at me, _Tea, Miss Babcock?_'.

'He was trying to act… normal?'

'So it seemed. And it was damn shocking, because it was not _our_ normal, and it just reinforced how much he had been acting strange'.

'How was it not your normal, exactly?'

'His hands'.

'Uhm?'

'They were trembling slightly. He never shakes while serving anything. I noticed it and looked up to his face, and saw his jaw was set, too. He was so painfully pretending to be nonchalant I just I got possessed'.

'How was it?'

'I had to make him pay… I had to force him out of his act…'

'I see. What did you do?'

'I walked until I was behind him. As I expected, he didn't turn his head or looked at me – he just stayed there, moving things in the tray and pretending he didn't care about what I was doing. So, I moved the closest I could without touching him and whispered _The tea can wait_'.

'Yes?'

'He froze again, looking ahead, as if he could hear me but not look at me, and started rearranging things on the tray, mumbling something about having chores to do, and I… well… I…'

'You…?'

'I pressed him against the desk', she blushed again.

'Uhm… Why?'

'Once I had provoked him about spending a weekend in a cottage with Maxwell, while Niles should be there to serve us… I remember how he closed his eyes when I whispered it while passing behind him, and I thought I should use the same trick again. This time adding the physical element'.

'What do you think his reaction had meant, in that occasion?'

'Based on the context, it was something beyond annoyance: I was suggesting he would be the servant while I was having sexy times with Maxwell – damn, it really sounds ridiculous, now – and he was not able to threw a zinger back. In fact, he punished me offering tea with a rough voice, and I accepted, thinking I had won the round and he was so disturbed he could barely speak. But then he was putting the hot teapot on my hands and I almost burned myself'.

Bort raised her brows, 'Once you have mentioned Niles has been acting like a child, I'll say it sounds like a childish way to show his jealousy'.

'Yeah, now I see it. Even if I was being stupid, he should have made something else, not pulled my ponytails'.

'Exactly my thoughts. But you were saying you had pressed Niles against the desk'.

'Oh, yes. Well, I wanted to make it impossible for him to escape, this time, and I thought just the whispering wouldn't be enough to throw him off balance. So, I pressed myself on his back, and whispered in his ear, _You shouldn't get embarrassed when I compliment you. Is it wrong that I decided to point out you're somewhat desirable?_'

Bort was deeply interested, 'That was a strong phrasing, Miss Babcock. What did Niles answer to that?'

'Nothing. He kept quiet and tense'.

'Uhm'.

'So, I got my face closer to the side of his neck and said, _You smell nice, too. Shouldn't I say that?_'

Bort moved on her chair, 'Just to clarify things: you said you had planned to throw Niles off balance. At this point, which… let's say, _weapons_ did you think you were using to reach your objective?'

CC thought for a moment, 'My voice whispering in his ear… physical contact… and a direct compliment'.

'It sounds as seduction'.

'Yes, and I swear I haven't realized it until then'.

'When did you?'

'Wait – you'll see', the patient resumed her story, 'I felt again that feeling of empowerment, and it just got bigger when I heard him suck in his breath at my words', CC closed her eyes again, 'I wanted to provoke. I wanted him on edge. I put my hands on his arms and caressed them. I let my hands slide to his wrists…'

'Yes?', now Bort was eager to know what had happened.

'He clenched his hands. It was almost painful to watch how in agony he was: his breathing was ragged, his fists bailed, his body tense'.

'And how did you feel?'

'I got furious again. I mean, I know he always said he hated me and found me hideous and all, but I never thought he was being sincere. And there he was, as if he was going to push me and run away, yelling, at any point'.

'What did you do, then?'

'I pressed more, obviously. I wanted to give him real reason to hate me. I rested my chin on his shoulder, turned my head and spoke with my lips grazing his neck, _Do you find me that disgusting, Niles?_'

'Uhm… And this time he answered?'

'No. He just shut his eyes and bended his head, trying to get away from me. Seriously, I thought he would throw up'.

'So… you let go?'

'No, I didn't', CC sighed, 'I insisted. I put a hand on his hair and pulled him back. Not with force enough to hurt… I just tugged at it… and he obeyed me. He brought his head back where my lips could reach his neck. And then…'

'Yes?'

'He said _Please_'.

'_Please_ what?'

'That's what I asked'.

'And?'

'He answered _Let me go_'.

'Disgusted?'

'No!', CC said, excitedly, '_Desperate_, again'.

'Interesting. What did you do?'

'I wanted to know why. I said _I will if you tell me what is the problem_'.

'And?'

'He kept silent again. He wouldn't open his eyes. He wouldn't unclench his fists. He wouldn't breathe normally. It was maddening!'

'That must have been a very difficult moment, indeed'.

'You have no idea. I felt wrong for subjecting him to that, and still so powerful and… aroused. I mean, we never get this close – not even when we're dancing – and there he was, in my arms. I couldn't let go'.

'You were enjoying it'.

'You can say it again', CC sighed, 'Besides, it felt like we were very close to a point of no return. Even if I didn't have any idea to where, I couldn't stop'.

'So, what did you do when he kept frozen?'

'I decided to change my tactics, and gave him some space'.

'Yes?'

'I gave a tiny step behind and, as I expected, he was surprised and acted without thinking: he opened his eyes and turned his torso to see what I was doing', CC licked her lips, 'I was prepared: I put myself between him and the desk and used my body to press again. When he realized, _he_ was between me and the desk. I even kicked his feet lightly, so I could go between his legs', CC blushed, 'So much for taking self-defense classes – I just used the lessons to harass a man'.

Bort smiled, 'You were not fearing the wrestling anymore, I see'.

CC shook her head, 'No, I was not. I was blind by a mix of desire and his infuriating behavior… And I knew he didn't deal well with me being physical, because the few times I had, he had been too shocked to act'.

Bort interjected, 'Besides the kiss, there were other situations when you were _physical_ with Niles?'

'Oh, yes, there were', the blonde counted on her fingers, 'Once we kissed in the office, because I thought it was Maxwell I was grabbing. He made a show of gargling with tea soon after, but he knew it was me and didn't stop the kiss while I didn't. There was that other time when we were at the breakfast table, all the family gathered, and he threw me a zinger while standing by my side and serving me. I took the little thing we use to pick bread and put it discretely on his balls, under his coat. The yelp he let out was priceless, and he was quite sedated for the rest of the meal', she smiled at the memory, 'There was that time when I was trying to stop smoking, I commented I could explode if I had a cig, and he had a lighter in his hand in a second. I reached out to put my nicotine gum on his pocket and he just let me', she stopped for a moment and added, 'And there was that time when I had ketchup on my face – it was his fault, by the way – and I grabbed his tie to clean it up. And, again, he let me do it'.

Bort scribbled furiously at the amount of times her patient had grabbed the man she claimed to hate, 'Thank you for telling me', Bort knew the phrase sounded ambiguous, because it was obvious how much information CC had hid through the years, and knew her patient had noticed it, because the blonde threw her a look of contempt at the possibility of a criticism. Deciding to let it go, Bort asked, 'Getting back to the latest news: you decided to get intimate and make Niles sweat. Then, what happened?'

'And I'm the one who _phrases _things in interesting ways', CC mumbled for effect, and went on with the story, 'Well, I was pressed against him, standing between his legs. His hands were clenched against the edge of the desk, by his sides, so I put my hands on his wrists. He really couldn't escape'.

CC stopped for a moment to gather herself, and Bort frowned: whatever had happened, the thing that had made her patient so troubled was close to being said.

'Niles reacted horribly: he closed his eyes and turned his face away from mine. He even shut his mouth, too, as if I would transmit some disease if he stayed open to me in any way', Bort was going to comment on that, but CC added, agitated, 'He flinched, for God' sake! He was acting as if he felt _revulsion_ at being close to me, and I had had enough of that!'

Bort stayed silent, waiting for the story to develop.

'I got even closer. I could hear his breathing faltering. I felt his cheek against my nose. I had an urge to make him beg to get out, now, and at the same time I wanted him to stay and suffer'.

'_Suffer_?'

'Yes. He was acting as if I put him in pain, and the fact he had decided not to say a word or react got on my nerves'.

'I see: you wanted a reaction. What happened?'

'I asked again, _Are you that disgusted by me?_', CC threw a look in the direction of her therapist, 'I needed to hear it. I could see it clearly, but I needed to hear him saying it'.

'Yes?'

CC frowned, 'He whispered, _I should be_'.

There was silence in the room. The patient had closed her eyes after retelling the memory, and Doctor Bort decided not to say anything, again, as she used to do when the huge things appeared.

CC resumed talking, her voice taken by a very strong emotion Bort could not identify, yet, 'I thought he was fighting an urge to _vomit_, but he couldn't even look me in the eyes because… he was _enjoying_ it!'

One more time, the Doctor stayed silent, waiting.

CC gulped down and proceeded, 'I gave a step behind, he opened his eyes, turned to take the tray, gave up, and just walked away without looking at me', she breathed deeply, 'End of story. And now you know what got my guts in a knot'.

Bort nodded and asked, 'Have you interacted again after this?'

'No. It happened two days ago. I went home as soon as I could, leaving a note to Maxwell about an appointment I had forgotten totally about. Yesterday and today I called in sick. I have no idea what to think or do when I meet Niles again'.

Bort nodded again, took a look at her notes and spoke, 'Well, let's get back to that moment when Niles finally answered you: he said he _should_ find you disgusting. Why do you think he chose such a word?'

'_Should _means there is something you think is right, and that it would be the better thing to do'.

'The right and better thing to him, in this case, would be…?'

'To find me disgusting…', CC's eyes went wide, 'but he was not able to…'

'What does it mean?', Bort prodded, knowing the answer would change everything.

CC went silent for a long moment. Then, she said, slowly, 'It means that, even if he thinks it is wrong…'

'Yes?'

'…he desires me'.

Bort wanted to get up and do a little happy dance, but it would be really unprofessional.

'I think we should stop here', CC's voice announced, while getting up.

'Stop what?', Bort asked, getting up too, and for a moment she thought the woman meant the treatment.

'The session. I need to think about it. It's too huge. I need time'.

Bort nodded, 'Are you feeling calm enough?'

'Yes, yes… It's overwhelming, but if I get into a taxi and go home, so I can be alone and think, I feel I can handle it', CC breathed deeply, 'Trust me, I'm not running away from the subject'.

Bort smiled softly, 'I'm sure you're not'.

They nodded at each other in understanding, and Bort noticed CC had her head up high when she got out of the room. There was no way the socialite would take the situation lightly, or pretend it was not important.

The denial was over.

Bort felt like things were to advance, and more quickly than any of the people involved could have predicted.


	6. Niles and Muller

_Surprise! Changing point of views, here!_

**Therapy**

**Chapter 6: Niles and Muller**

Doctor Muller made a gesture for the unexpected new patient to enter and sit on a chair, in front of him.

The Doctor knew who that man was: he has been treating Fran Fine for some months, and she mentioned the Sheffield's butler as a dear friend, even if he was often sarcastic and grumpy. In Fran's book, he was a difficult person, but one you can trust and rely on when you really need.

Muller found it interesting that Niles had decided to ask for an appointment, being described as 'very sure of himself' and capable of starring some impressive scenes involving witty comments and clever banter. The therapist had enough knowledge and experience to be aware that people who exhale confidence are often hiding some deep insecurities, and it seemed he would have the opportunity to see first hand what this man was about.

He had a notion that Niles would be an intriguing character, and he was not disappointed.

For starters, people usually were wary at their first session and tried to conceal it; Niles, on the contrary, made his discomfort very obvious, observing his surroundings with a critical eye, as if it was confirming every negative opinion he had formulated before entering.

For a moment, the therapist thought Niles would pass a finger on the chair to inspect the level of dust it had. After a brief moment of contemplation, he seemed to give up the idea and just sat down.

The therapist observed that and noted to himself that Niles had already showed both sides of his character, in that little display: he was trained to control himself and not show his impressions all the time, and still he liked to make a show of his impressions.

Niles adjusted his coat and put his hands on his thighs.

His first words were a cranky, 'I think I shouldn't have come'.

Muller sported his most understanding smile at the overture, 'However, once you are here, Niles, why don't we talk about what made you want an appointment?'

'Yes, why don't we?', Niles raised an eyebrow mockingly, showing again how deeply annoyed he was at the situation.

Doctor Muller raised a brow back, as if asking _Why so sassy?_

Niles seemed to realize how irrational he was acting (once it was himself who had called to ask for the hour), joined his hands on his lap and decided to collaborate, 'Miss Fine has improved her way of dealing with some of her… issues since she has treating herself with you. She says you're very good. When I decided I needed to seek some help to… deal with… things, you seemed a good option'.

'Uhum', Muller nodded, noticing the hesitance and evasive terms, 'You mean _personal_ things?'

'The kind of things you go to therapy to deal', the grumpiness was back.

Muller joined his fingertips, 'People come to therapy for lots of reasons, Niles. I just pondered there must be one specific thing bothering you. Something you wouldn't discuss with Fran, for example. It must be very personal'.

The patient nodded, agreeing, 'Yes. I… I have a problem I would never discuss with anyone I would have to face daily', Niles' eyes went down at that.

'Does it make you feel ashamed?'

'Yes', he gulped and looked at the Doctor, 'And I think I'm obsessed with it. I want help to get over it before I go mad'.

Muller tilted his head at the serious tone, 'Why do you think you are obsessed?'

'I can't stop thinking of… it. I can't sleep, I can't work in peace, I can't focus on anything else. I keep reminiscing about it, thinking of what I have done, of what I could have done, wondering what will happen next... Even Miss Fine noticed there is something wrong with me – she asked me yesterday why I had got so silent and tense, lately'.

'And what did you say to her?'

'I tried to deny it, but she saw right through me. I admitted there was a problem, but said it was too personal to discuss, and that was when she mentioned you'.

Doctor Miller just nodded and waited, looking at Niles encouragingly. He had just contradicted himself, revealing it was Fran who had suggested directly Muller's name, instead of himself deciding it was time to get help. It meant this situation was deeply difficult for Niles, and he probably would never access whatever the issue was, if it had not turned into something intolerable. _Maddening_, in his terms.

The butler sighed and stared into space, as if he had to summon the courage to speak, 'Maybe I should start from the beginning'.

Muller nodded, 'Whatever you decide is the beginning'.

Niles' head snapped at the Doctor, surprised. Muller knew it meant he had not given much thought to it, but now would – that the point he chose to start his tale was decisive to what he wanted to talk about.

More than that, the butler was, at this exact moment, wondering if he had chosen some suitable point in time to start his tale.

The Doctor was sure Niles had come with a story ready to be told, and any comment Muller did would make him falter, once it was a shameful subject he had probably never discussed with anyone.

Niles composed himself and spoke, 'I have been working as a butler in the Sheffield mansion for almost twenty years. My life was all organized around the people who live there… and the ones who go there in a daily basis'.

The Doctor nodded, again, making a mental note about Niles considering _the beginning _the time he had been working for the Sheffields in New York. Muller knew it meant Maxwell, the three children and, in the past, Sara Sheffield. Now, it meant the producer, his three children and Miss Fine.

His mind quickly reminded him that Niles had added, as an afterthought, as if he was careful to not put much importance in it, _the ones who go there in a daily basis_. This care was usually reserved to things that make people ashamed – you try to diminish the importance of the thing you know is the center of all.

Muller searched his memory: besides a maid or two who went to the mansion quite often, he knew, by Fran's accounts, that the only person who fitted the description was CC Babcock.

Fran had mentioned her and her bickering with Niles, and Muller's mind started tracing possible links among the people he was considering.

Niles went on, 'I had dreams, when I was younger. I thought about leaving my job as a butler and pursue a real career. However, time was passing by and I couldn't see a way out – sometimes my parents pressed me to stay, because the Sheffields had paid for my education and for a comfortable life for them when they retired; sometimes, it was because it was easier to stay where I was until I was sure I had found a sure successful path…'

'There's no sense in being in a hurry when you don't know where you're going'.

Niles nodded at Muller's comment, and relaxed a bit, as the Doctor expected people to do when they felt understanding from the therapist. He even inclined his body a bit forward, showing some acceptance of the Doctor – what was an improvement and, at the same time, proof that he craved for any understanding he could get.

'Being a butler was boring, and even when Maxwell married Sara and they started their family, with the amount of chores to do, I always felt like it was beneath my abilities, and I was missing something. I would plan on going away every day, and every day they would need me and I would stay'.

Again, Muller had the strong impression that Niles had this speaking well rehearsed in his head. It seemed he feared his famous quick mind would not be at his service in this issue. So, the therapist decided to break the flow of words, 'Do you regret it?'

Niles blinked for some moments, proving the Doctor was correct in his assumption, then answered, 'I used to. I would chastise myself every night and every morning, swearing it would be the last time I let my laziness and fear to keep me there'.

His original course being undone, Niles kept silent for a while, thinking hard about how to resume, and Muller decided to seize the moment, 'You said you _used to _regret it. Did it change?'

'Yes', Niles said, looking away, 'One day…'

The Doctor observed intently. His client was fighting to speak. It seemed they had reached the center of the problem very quickly. He decided to poke, 'One day…?'

Niles clenched his jaw, gulped, breathed deeply and finally said, in a low voice, 'One day, Miss Babcock arrived. And everything changed'.

Muller made an effort to school down his expression of interest, because now he had a name, and was glad Niles was so distracted by his own tension he wasn't looking into his direction, 'The business partner?'

Now he nodded, looked at the Doctor, and a tender smile reached his face, 'When she arrived, she was going to be just Mister Sheffield's new secretary. Of course, people didn't know what they were getting into'.

The therapist noticed that fond shake of head and mused if _people, _in this context, wasn't _Niles_, himself, and the fact that time had made the woman who was to be just the secretary had turned into someone he would obsess about.

It had a good chance of the answer being yes, once Niles had changed his demeanor the moment he stopped talking about himself and started talking about Miss Babcock: the tension and discomfort disappeared, and he was taken by pleasure.

Expecting to observe if this new behavior stayed, and to access how much detail his patient would give him, Muller asked, 'How did you know she was coming? Was it a surprise?'

'No!', the excitement made Niles' eyes shine, 'Once she would be in the mansion every day, the late Mrs Sheffield prevented me about her arrival. She told me about them in boarding school together, said Miss Babcock had been a serious student, with some very entertaining stories about the rich girl who would not bend to peer pressure or give attention to anything that took away her focus. I got curious, but didn't think much about it. I would discover what kind of person she was when she got there, and if she stayed, I would have plenty of time for it'.

A lot of detail. Muller now was sure what this session was about, 'And did you _discover_ anything of interest?'

'Oh, yes, I did', Niles' mind wandered to a past he regarded with obvious tenderness, by the softness his voice had in a moment, 'She was still just a girl. When I first saw her, trying to maintain her pose while brushing her long hazel locks with her hand to keep them in place, being deadly nervous over meeting her future boss, I confess I couldn't get it: yes, she was very young, but really rich; it was not like she needed the job. And, still, she was there, ready to show her best'.

Muller noticed Niles was talking more to himself than to the therapist, at this point, and stayed silent and still, observing.

'I soon discovered CC Babcock was not there because of the money. She was there for passion: she loved Broadway, she wanted to be successful, she had a lot of ideas and strength, and needed the focus to make things happen. She was great exactly where I had failed, and that would be enough for me to respect her', Niles paused for a moment, and then resumed, 'I admired her immediately when I realized what moved her, and started treating her as part of the family. She deserved it, and we needed that kind of humor, that fiery and objective way of dealing with things'.

Muller knew, through Fran's comments, that Niles was no-nonsense and witty, often. It was interesting he said those things about Miss Babcock as if she was the one to bring interesting things to the Sheffields and his life.

Would it be that Niles felt like he was a different person before he met CC Babcock, and that she had been able to bring something out of him? The thing he felt he was missing?

Muller made a mental note about Niles feeling somewhat beneath Miss Babcock – who was rich and successful – and wondered if it would have any repercussion in their daily interactions. He could imagine two probable courses for this attitude: he could be envious of Miss Babcock and her accomplishments, or he could put himself in a place of devoted adoration, investing himself in a kind of platonic love.

'I saw her helping Mister Sheffield with business and slowly permitting herself to bond with Sara, and… I let myself indulge in her company. Of course, I teased her, but she seemed to understand it was my way of keeping in touch, and we had a lot of fun in our teasing. She was witty, often nasty, sometimes evil, but she would always do and say what she believed in. She was the most amazing woman I had ever met'.

That was a strong declaration, and Muller observed Niles getting uncomfortable and looking away. The therapist was sure that man had never voiced this thoughts to anyone, by the amount of effort he was putting into this talking, and by how disturbed he seemed to be at his own words.

And, until now, the 'devotion' theory was leading the race.

When Niles was able to speak again, his voice was lower, and his eyes were staring at a wall, 'I started getting closer. I started enjoying when she talked to me. And I realized I enjoyed it even more when she talked to me as an equal. It made me forget I didn't have a successful job or a respectable income. Every time she answered to a zinger of mine I felt alive… And I found myself falling for her'.

Muller let the silence surround them for some moments, giving Niles time to deal with what he had said, and then spoke delicately, 'Is this what you feel ashamed about?'

Niles nodded.

'Why?'

'Nothing could be more… _wrong_'.

'How is it?'

He furrowed his brow, closing his eyes, 'She was a lot younger than me, she was incredibly rich, she had a real and successful job… Even if there was the slightest chance of her ever looking my way, I had no right to claim her'.

Muller observed while the man in front of him gulped down the emotion and opened his eyes to look at him back.

He had an air of frightening determination, 'I took all the care in the world to keep a distance, but it was so difficult… Sara went saying we were _quite a pair_, Maxwell would comment we were really similar, and I couldn't stop but hoping Miss Babcock would agree… Even if she didn't think of me as I thought about her, I hoped she would see me at least as… worth some of her attention'.

The blue eyes turned pained, and Muller wondered what kind of training Niles had had, or which life experiences had driven him to believe he was not worth to have his feeling reciprocated in the same level, or that his wishes and passions were that wrong. He decided to point out, 'You have suppressed your desire to pursue a different career, and then you decided to suppress the… affection you felt towards Miss Babcock'.

Niles relaxed visibly, his focus on the Doctor again, and Muller realized the man hadn't expected to be understood, here, at all, and was relieved by this. It made the Doctor think again of how Niles felt alone and ashamed of his own feelings.

'Yes and, believe me, things were really difficult, for a while: she dyed her hair blonde, what gave her an older and more sophisticated air…', his eyes got dreamy, 'I had found her beautiful before, and then she seemed more mature and classy, and I was really lost', his eyes got saddened, 'I used to wonder how she didn't notice how I felt, once I was around her all the time…'

'Again, you _used to wonder_. You don't, anymore?'

His jaw clenched, 'No, soon I knew exactly why she didn't'.

Muller noticed that was important, and didn't want to hurry things, 'Let's keep the chronological order. You were describing the time when you felt falling for Miss Babcock. Resume from that point, please'.

Niles nodded, agreeing, 'I could feel the danger: it had started with me including her in the family because I admired her, it turned into sincere affection, it made me developed a protective streak and a soft spot, and when I realized there was the desire. Deep desire, for everything that was _her_', Niles looked down at his hands, 'I hoped it would go away, and it never did. And it was one of the most horrible things I have ever felt'.

The therapist decided to voice his thoughts at that, 'People don't choose who or what they desire, Niles. You don't have to be ashamed for feeling it, or call it _horrible_'.

'Yes, I do', Niles shook his head with conviction, and the therapist noticed the opposition between gesture and words, 'It was wrong. It was not meant to be, since the beginning. I can't believe how I could be blind to that. I let myself be trapped with her and the idea of getting closer to her', he flinched, 'Then, Sara passed away. And… _that_ happened. She showed who she really was', he made an expression of distaste, 'She started coming on Maxwell'.

Muller raised his brows at the feelings showing on Niles' face. It was a mix of relief for finally talking about it and turmoil for reminiscing something that made him suffer.

'I felt so stupid… I had illusions about her paying any attention to me, and I had fought every day to keep it at bay, out of respect for her, cherishing every small gesture, every smile she would give me. And all of a sudden, I had to deal with three miserable children, and block her stupid strategies of seduction, as if she hadn't realized there was a man who was shattered for the loss of the woman he loved…'

The Doctor interrupted the angry tirade, 'Are you talking about you or Mister Sheffield?'

Niles looked sharply at the Doctor, 'I was very close to Sara, but I would never…'

Muller interrupted him, raising a hand, 'You misunderstand me. I mean Miss Babcock. You have lost the woman you had great affection for when you saw her turning her back on you and _throwing herself _at your boss. So, in a way, you felt like you had been abandoned by her'.

Niles stayed looking at the therapist for a long time. He seemed to be trying to decide what to say, and Muller was curious to know if he would deny the implications of the way the Doctor had described the situation. Finally, he schooled his expression to neutrality and declared, 'Maybe it would be for the best if they married each other. She was a great woman, after all, and he was a good man… and lonely'.

Muller noticed the diversion and didn't let him off the hook, 'And you weren't?'

Taken aback, Niles opted for sarcasm, 'A good man? Probably. Lonely? Always. But that was not the point'.

'What was the point, then?', Muller said just that, but added mentally, _besides the fact you denied your desire but wanted her just for yourself._

I couldn't see them together. It seemed almost as wrong as thinking of _us _together. That was when I started saying mean things to her'.

_Bingo_, 'Why?'

'I wanted to make sure Mister Sheffield would never take her seriously.'

'Did it work?'

'Perfectly', Niles got that sad expression again, the blue eyes wandering, 'It hurt to see the way she looked at me, as if she couldn't understand why I was being so cruel, but I had to do it', he breathed deeply and changed to a forced more joyous tone, 'And then, when Miss Fine came around, I thought things were decided. Miss Babcock didn't stand a chance with Mister Sheffield. I thought I could be in peace'.

'You _thought_?', Muller commented, noticing the past tense again.

Niles got antsy, 'At the same time Miss Fine was getting closer to Mister Sheffield, Miss Babcock and I started getting closer again, too. It seemed things were back to normal, in some way: with Mister Sheffield hooked to the nanny, Babcock stopped seeing him as a potential husband and was back to my company. It was like being a second option, but I thought I could settle for that: it kept me aware that she was around me just because the first option was out of reach, and it kept my wound open, so I wouldn't let my guard down again'.

Muller nodded in understanding, 'Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me'.

Niles nodded, 'Yes, I should have known better'.

'It means you feel like you were fooled again?', the Doctor smirked, 'And that the shame is on you?'

The butler raised a brow at that, and decided not to comment, 'We got too close, and my nightmare was back: we started chatting, we joked, we went out together, we danced, we flirted, we kissed'.

Muller went to the edge of his seat, 'Really?'

Niles quickly crossed his arms on his chest, in a defensive gesture, 'Yes'.

The therapist tilted his head, 'How was it?'

'What do you mean?'

'How did it feel to be physically intimate with her after so much denying?'

Niles blushed deeply and pressed his lips together.

'You don't want to talk about it?'

'Not really'.

'That's all right, you don't have to', Muller adjusted himself on his seat to change the mood and spoke again, 'You said _we kissed_, and after a list of activities that engaged the both of you. Am I right to suppose it means you both did it as consenting adults?'

Niles nodded slowly.

'All of those activities could be read as camaraderie, even the flirting part. It was all very subtle, _but_ the kiss. A kiss you can't exactly misunderstand. It must have been a turning point. Am I right, again?'

Niles nodded one more time, fidgeting a bit.

Muller had reason to believe Niles had not told Miss Babcock about his feelings and thoughts about her, and he wondered how the pair had dealt with something that would probably be hanging between them. 'So, I'm curious to know: what happened after the kiss?'

'It happened at a late hour, in the mansion. We had a verbal sparring, it escalated until we kissed, and Mister Sheffield arrived with Miss Fine. She went out of my arms and walked to the door, pretending nothing had happened. I followed her, we exchanged some innuendo and she went away'.

'People commented on that?'

'No. I didn't give them a chance, just said good night and went to my room'.

'You must have felt troubled'.

Niles uncrossed his arms, what the Doctor took as a good signal, 'Yes, I felt. I barely could sleep, that night. I wondered if I should call her, if she was thinking of what had happened, if she was thinking of me. I often kept awake at night thinking of her and the things we have said and done to each other during the day, and that night it seemed impossible to take it out of my mind'.

'The next day must have been awkward, then'.

Niles' shoulders drop visibly, 'It was a Friday night, so I waited to see if she would come to work on Saturday, as she often does'.

'She did?'

'No. And I had no idea of what to do, so I waited for her to arrive Monday morning'.

'Did you have any expectations?'

Muller noticed the reaction at his question: Niles' face contorted in something that was self-disgust, and he clenched his fists, 'Of course I had. I wanted her to decide what to do with what had happened, and I had hope she would want to make… something of it. Anything', Niles breathed deeply, 'I was ready to accept whatever she would decide to give me. I got so full of hope I'm sure I wouldn't have imposed any condition or made any demand', he lowered his eyes and, for a moment, Muller thought he was going to burst into tears, by the trembling in his voice, 'I just wanted a chance. I really believed I would be capable of… making her _see_ me'.

Muller waited for a moment, considering again the devotion Niles had developed for CC Babcock and the high price he paid for not seeing himself in the same level as hers, and asked softly, 'When was that?'

'More or less one year and a half ago'.

'And you have known each other for…?'

Niles looked at the Doctor, 'Twelve years'.

'So, after one decade of seeing each other every day and forging a very intimate relationship, you decided you were grown up enough to try on something new?'

Niles smiled sadly, 'I don't think I'll ever be grown up or ready'.

Muller thought that described very well that man's issues, 'But you felt something was different'.

'Yes. I felt like it was… less wrong. Less impossible'.

'Let's say you felt… _readier _than before'.

'You can say that', Niles conceded, then shrugged, 'But it was just me. She never mentioned it again. It was like the kiss had never happened. She threw me a zinger at the door first thing Monday morning, and I had to gulp down any farfetched hopes I had'.

'And how did you feel about it?'

Niles sighed, and for a moment the Doctor thought he would refuse to answer again. However, this time he decided to deal with the issue, 'It hurt a lot more than I had guessed. I caught myself saying the most horrible things to her again, because I had let her in, and it just made something break inside… Something I had never realized I had been rebuilding…', he frowned at the epiphany, 'It's like when you're dusting something and you brake it, and then you hurry to glue it back the best you can, hoping no one will notice. You do it so well even yourself forget about it. And then you go there and you do it again, and this time the breaking is impossible to ignore. It's too much. It's beyond repair', Niles cleared his throat, 'She had chosen to dismiss what had happened, and I tried to act accordingly, but I couldn't take the memory away. I started acting more and more horribly… Because I feared if I didn't push her away enough, she would come to me again, and someone had to put a stop in it'.

'Why?'

His stance changed drastically, and he looked annoyed, 'Haven't you heard me? It's wrong!'

'What is wrong?'

'_We_ are'.

'As individuals or for each other?'

Niles scoffed, 'For each other? Dear God, what are you saying? She doesn't even consider me as a man!'

'She kissed you, didn't she?'

'Yes, but she regretted it'.

'Did you?'

Niles opened his mouth to speak, closed it again, and seemed not able to answer.

'What are you thinking, Niles? Is the answer that difficult?'

The butler nodded, 'My mind yells _yes_, I regretted it, it just made me hurt and have hope about something that will never happen. But my body yells _no_, that kiss was one the highlights of my life, and it is better to have one great thing like that, even if once in a lifetime, than nothing'.

'What does your heart say?', Muller asking with a hint of a teasing smile.

'It can't decide', was the surprisingly ready answer.

'Why?'

'Because… it's stupid to crave for something you know will go wrong… but at the same time, it's the only thing that feels right, even if just for some moments… even if just when you're inside your dream world…'

Muller nodded in understanding, 'The obsession you mentioned: supposing it is about Miss Babcock – is there something triggering it especially, lately? You said the kiss was a relatively long time ago. Does anything else happened, since then?'

'Yes… I was telling you I started treating her horribly after the kiss… But lately she has been acting nice towards me, and it is what is getting me crazy'.

'Because…?'

'I can't stand it!', Niles exploded, 'I already enjoyed seeing her being her nasty self, but I can't defend myself from her good side! She is so adorable when she is nice to me all I can think of is showering her with affection! I want to touch her, and hug her, and go home with her! I'm having ideas about asking her for a serious relationship! I keep imagining us married! I have the dirtiest dreams and fantasies about her! This needs to stop!'

Muller kept his voice calm, 'All of that because she started acting nice?'

'You have no idea what it does to me…', Niles made a desperate expression, 'From a moment to another, she started agreeing with me, complimenting me, touching me, and all I want is to sweep her in my arms, kiss her and ask her to marry me'.

'What do you think she intends, with this new attitude?'

Niles breathed deeply to calm himself, 'Besides making me crazy?'

'When a person is nice to another, there's some plausible reasons: she may be a good person…'

'She is a horrible person. You wouldn't believe the things she says and does at a daily basis'.

'She may like the other person…'

'She despises me'.

'She may want something from the other person…'

Niles pouted, 'I have nothing that may interest her'.

Doctor Muller raised his brows, 'Don't you think you are being too harsh on yourself?'

That surprised Niles, 'On _myself_?'

'Yes. When you talk about Miss Babcock, what you are saying is that she won't do anything nice to you because _you_ are not worth her time'.

'I didn't say that'.

'You implied that a lot of times since you arrived here: every time you point out why you can't feel things for her, you keep repeating how wonderful she is – rich, beautiful, fiery, witty, strong, decided and strong-willed, even if it is for the wrong causes – and then you keep demeaning yourself, emphasizing how old, poor and not worthy you are'.

Niles was open mouthed at that, as if he wanted to deny it and couldn't bring himself to do it. He rested his back on the chair, a pensive look on him, lost in his thoughts.

When he spoke, what he managed was a weak, 'But isn't that the truth?'

Muller shook his head, 'There is not such a thing as The Truth, Niles. We choose what we want to believe, and we act accordingly. When you change the perspective, you change everything', Muller crossed his legs and raised a finger, 'Let me give you an example: you said Miss Babcock is being nice to you, and you refuse to deal with it, denying all the reasonable motives I suggested. Am I correct?'

Niles nodded his head slowly.

'You do that because you believe The Truth is that Miss Babcock have no good reason to be nice to you. Am I correct again?'

Niles nodded again.

'It means you think you are the only one that miss the times when you were closer to each other. You can't conceive the idea of her wanting to revert to that moment in time when you enjoyed the teasing', Muller looked firmly at his client, 'Wasn't your bonding strong enough for her to miss it as you do?'

Niles shook his head, 'No… She doesn't feel as I do… She wants Mister Sheffield… She would never move a finger for me…'

'If she moves for him, why not for you?

'I have told you… I'm poor, old and…', Niles noticed the Doctor raising a brow at him giving evidence of his self demeaning habit, 'It is not _me_ saying it. She had called me _pathetic _enough times for me to get the idea'.

'And yet, you are the one committed to her for more than a decade'.

'See how right she is? I _am_ pathetic'.

Muller smiled, recognizing what Fran meant by Niles' humor, 'Don't you think Miss Babcock would feel glad to know she had been the source of such feelings for so much time?'

Niles crossed his arms, this time as a sign of denial, 'Why would she? She would probably feel embarrassed to know she has made me fantasize about her like I do…'

'You don't need to start with those terrifying notions of marriage and eternal love you have been entertaining yourself with', Muller saw Niles raising a brow at that and smirked, 'You could just try to be nice to her when she is to you, and see what happens. Follow her lead for a while'.

'You don't get it', Niles crossed his ankles in front of him, 'I can't do it'.

Muller found the double display of denial really impressive, 'You can't be nice to her?'

'No'.

'Why? The urge to throw zingers and offenses is that strong?'

'No, no, you misunderstand me. I could act nice, but if it gets us closer, I'm not sure I can resist…'

At the faltering in the patient's voice, Muller urged, 'Resist? What?'

Niles' eyes were suddenly full of tears, and he seemed to give up hiding. He uncrossed his arms and ankles, and looked into the therapist's face, 'I know what I feel for her. I have known it for a long time. I thought it was a crush, I wanted it to be an infatuation, but I can't lie to myself anymore. It's the _real thing_', he looked away in embarrassment just for a moment, 'I don't know what I'll do if I let things go in that away, one more time. I can't go through that again. She has rejected me twice, already: when she turned to Mister Sheffield after Mrs Sheffield passed away, and when she kissed me and pretended it never happened. I feel like it would be too much to know I'm not worth one more time'.

Muller waited for Niles to calm himself and dry his eyes. Now that the denial was over, maybe they could advance into new territory.

Suddenly, the butler got up, 'I'm sorry. As I said, I shouldn't have come…'

The therapist got up, too, 'Yes, you should. You needed to talk about it'.

'Yes, but I expected to solve it, as if desire and love could be turned off. As you said, people don't choose it. I must learn how to live with my feelings and not let them control me like this', Niles adjusted his coat and adopted a formal tone, extending his hand, 'I'm sorry to have occupied your time, even if I'm paying for it. Thank you for listening to me'.

Muller felt like he couldn't let the man go away like that, so he didn't take the hand in his, 'Listen, Niles: I'm not here to give advice, but I see you're really disturbed by your emotions, so I'd like to suggest something. May I?'

The butler lowered his hand, 'Yes, of course'.

Doctor Muller spoke slowly, trying to keep his tone light and pondered, 'You should talk to Miss Babcock about your worries. You don't have to tell her how you feel, or even ask her to clarify her reasons for changing her attitude towards you. You just have to make clear her behavior is disturbing you, and that the consequences are not being good to either of you. Try to settle for a ground where the both of you can be comfortable. I can see it is hard for you to think of her as someone who would respect you, but if she has decided to act nicely, you have a good chance of at least her _pretending_ to hear when you broach the subject'.

Niles shrugged his shoulders in a nervous gesture, 'That would be enough for me to gain some time to collect myself, at least'.

'Yes, it would', Muller extended his own hand, this time, 'And seize the opportunity to be more open about the possibilities behind her motivations. Most of the time, people are surprised to discover how different from our own self image we are, to the ones around us'.

Niles took the extended hand with some hesitance, feeling like if he did it he would be agreeing with the therapist, what he tended not to. In order to not show his discomfort, he thanked the man again, shook firmly the hand and went out of the office the quickest he could.


	7. Of phone calls

_We're entering a new moment in this story. _

_I'd like to thank everybody who has included it in their follows and favorites: your interest honors me!_

_Thank you for the reviews, too. They really make me happy!_

**Therapy**

**Chapter 7: Of phone calls**

Niles was sitting on his bed since he had finished the tasks of the day, looking at the phone and trying to decide how to do what he had to do.

He _had_ to call Babcock – it was not negotiable. He was certain that was the only way to fix things between them, and he had decided to do it.

She had not come to work for three days, what had put him on edge, in a mix of guilt and worry Niles was very familiar with, because it came around every time she gave him hints that he had pointed out something about them he shouldn't. Maybe their encounter in the office had shook whatever relationship they had, and now he had to do something to get things back to their standard twisted status.

He felt like it was his responsibility, because even if Niles had considered her previous attempts at being nice to him as a menace to the delicate balance they had, it seemed that what had shaken everything was his uncontrolled response.

(He was aware that Doctor Muller had pointed out he was too harsh on himself, but he couldn't refrain from thinking if things had gone wrong, he was the one to blame for it. He was the one who lost control, after all. He was usually the one who poked the beast when she was just slumbering peacefully, too.

Another thing to consider was that he highly doubted Babcock would do anything to mend things. As he had said to the therapist, why would she move a finger for him?)

When Niles realized Miss Babcock had gone to the penthouse in the middle of the day, he felt horrible: he had no idea of what she had thought of his reaction, but it seemed so bad she had to be out of the mansion – far from him – as soon as possible.

When she didn't come to work the next day, he felt like she was punishing him, leaving him hanging and not knowing where they stood.

When she didn't come the second day in a row, he started thinking maybe he had really scared her with the idea that he was not totally against her advances.

It meant _she_ was just playing mind games, and Niles felt dejected and humiliated by the thought he had kinda confessed he was kinda attracted, and that she had felt so disgusted she had chosen not to work – her greatest passion – just to avoid him.

When she failed to appear in the third day, the turmoil had sent him to therapy.

It was just this afternoon he had visited Doctor Muller, but it seemed a lot of time has passed. The visit to the therapist sounded like a desperate idea, but he needed to talk to someone about it or he would explode. The better option for neutral opinion was Miss Fine's therapist.

Niles hoped the man would help him put some order in his thoughts. He had already chosen how he wanted to deal with it: he would tell the Doctor about Miss Babcock's changed attitude, how it had lead to him being in panic and loosing his control around her to the point he had to run away or he would surrender and reach out for her.

If he did that, all appearances would be lost and he would be in her hands. He couldn't drop the pretense of despise and distaste, even if he felt warm all over at every nice gesture she did towards him. He needed to feel safe from her.

So, the Doctor needed to help him to find a strategy to not succumb to her closeness.

However, just the thought that he had made her give up whatever she was trying to do, by his half-declared desire, was driving Niles crazy, and he was not able to explain to Doctor Muller what he needed to. He spent all the session saying how he _shouldn't_ be even thinking about that.

(He had been suffering because she had decided to be nice to him and he didn't want it, and he had been suffering because he may have succeeded in sending her away, too.

_Pathetic_ was a word that described him very well, really…)

Niles felt like he had wasted an opportunity of getting help to deal with that fire that has been consuming him since Babcock had pressed him against that desk and whispered in his ear a lot of things that fitted perfectly in a good part of his fantasies.

To be fair, the fire had been there before: when she started acting nice to him, he felt like he was going to burst in a mix of fear, incredulity, adoration, affection and lust. He had never realized how much he had missed their _golden era_ – the period that started soon after they met and lasted for a good while, bringing them closer at each teasing interaction.

To be completely honest, Niles had to admit his feelings for her dated from way before those last occurrences.

Way before that kiss in the den.

Way before he felt himself break inside at seeing her around Maxwell after Sara died.

Way before she dyed her hair.

He was drawn to her since the first time he saw her, just didn't know the reason of it, and the toll it would take in his life.

And he was not able to point out the moment in time when she was not just an above-the-average interesting person and beautiful woman he was lucky to see everyday, and became the reason he lived for.

Niles remembered basking in the feeling of being around CC when Sara was still alive. He remembered the notion of belonging to a family, and not because of the family itself – but because he and Babcock were like _one_ piece of that group. When joined, their dry humor and down to earth personalities fitted perfectly in the Sheffields' lives.

But then Sara passed away, and Niles felt like the weight of the world was on his shoulders: the well-being of the family depended on him, and any misguided gesture would mean he had failed with them.

With all of them – including Babcock herself, who was family, had a growing bond with Sara and probably would need as much support as everybody else.

It was him who received the call with the news about the accident, who had to call Maxwell (who was at the theater), and take the children with him to the hospital. His boss and friend was out of himself when Niles arrived, with Sara being just deceased.

Miss Babcock had decided to go home after leaving Maxwell at the hospital, an idea Niles couldn't quite understand, and had no time or way to ask the widower about, caught in the middle of the hurricane.

Niles called the PR of the company, and asked him to spread the news and put the production on hold. He told the guy the first person he should call was Miss Babcock, so she would be informed, and just then he should call the other people in the company, and then the press. He made sure it was understood who was the priority, and just then he had his mind in relative peace, so he could deal with the terrible tasks that were waiting for him.

As soon as he hang up, Niles started waiting for CC to give any sign of life.

When she didn't appear or call for the rest of the day, Niles got worried his message had not been clear enough, and called the PR the first opportunity he had (between two really painful and brief phone conversations with Sara's father and Maxwell's mother). The man reassured him he had talked to Miss Babcock, and Niles didn't have the time or guts to ask for her reaction to the news.

He pacified himself with the thought that she wanted to be alone to let the news sink, and decided to respect that. He just called the penthouse next day, to tell her the time of the burial, because he felt like she was close enough to be worth a more personal approach, but ended up leaving a message in her answering machine, once she didn't pick up the phone.

He got worried at her silence, thought a lot of times of going after her and even called the penthouse again at least three times, but with all the things he had to deal, it was soon impossible to have the time for it: he had to get the children ready, fetch clothes from the mansion for Sara, sign the papers for the body in the hospital, take Maxwell's and Sara's parents in the airport – three different rides he hoped he could forget with the years gone by, but couldn't until today –, organize the wake and be present full time in it.

And, even if he had Miss Babcock as a background thought all the time, wondered how she was coping, why she hadn't come to the wake, when he would be able to talk to her and if she needed anything, there was nothing else he could do but wish she was all right.

At the cemetery, surrounded by pain and sorrow, Niles kept Maxwell discretely by his arm. The man was no more than a shadow, but someone had to keep the appearances and think of future problems, and the butler wanted to make sure his boss would not collapse in front of the family and the press, guaranteeing undeserved pressure related to people doubting his ability to keep his children and/or running a business.

Niles was relieved when he saw Miss Babcock at a distance, wearing black from head to toe, dark glasses obscuring her face from view. At least she was there, sharing the moment with the family, even if not being close to them. Knowing her enough, he guessed she didn't want anyone to know about her suffering.

His mind was reeling with ways to bring her closer without leaving Maxwell's side and without hurting her sensibilities, but little Grace started fussing, and Niles had to take her in his arms.

He didn't blame the baby: she must feel the sadness in every one she got in touch with, and he knew he was probably the most controlled person around. He rubbed her back in order to calm her, felt her nestling into him and sobbing a bit, and closed his eyes for a moment, to gather strength. When he felt calm enough, he looked into her face and saw she had stopped crying and had huge baby eyes at her father and his pained expression.

Niles had to make the biggest effort to keep his cool demeanor when Maxwell extended a hand and took one of Grace's in it, what made Brighton and Margareth step out of their grandparents' grips and circle their father.

(They would stay like that, together, until the ceremony ended.)

When the commotion was somewhat subdued, Niles looked for CC again, and he was quite sure their eyes had met for a second – even if he was not really able to see hers. She quickly turned away and disappeared, and he didn't have the chance to go after her.

He was at his limit, he was tied by his bonds to the family (not just professionally, but as a faithful resort of strength), and he was afraid she still needed time alone and he would just hurt her more if he insisted on reaching her.

Finally, that night, when the children were with their grandparents in the guestrooms, everybody settled for the night, and Maxwell had agreed to eat something (just a bit, at Niles' menace of making a scandal), the butler was finally able to enter his room, sit on his bed and do something effective to get in touch with CC.

He hoped she would get the phone, this time. If she didn't, he was sure he wouldn't be able to sleep and would end up at her door.

He had stared at the phone for a while, that night so long ago, too, wondering if he should ask directly how Miss Babcock was, or if he should just say he was worried and wait for her answer. He had been sure he had to tell her something that would help, like tonight, just didn't know how to approach the subject.

(It seemed to be a constant in their relationship: he knew he had to get closer, to tease her, to grab her attention, that it would do good for both of them, but most of times he didn't know if he was doing it right or if he was just blindly reaching out and hitting her like a clumsy idiot.)

That night, years ago, Niles sincerely hoped CC had realized there were three children to be taken care of, a lot of bureaucracy to be dealt with, a temporary extended family, and the owner of the house not in shape to deal with any of that. If she didn't, he was ready to say he was sorry he couldn't be with her, even if he knew it was not exactly his fault, and that it would sound slightly inappropriate.

So, maybe the best was to make the call, pray she picked it up and that his mind helped him to come with the best words.

Niles noticed his hands were trembling, tried to control them and shivered. He found it a strange body reaction to the day's events, and wondered if it was related in any way to the fact he hadn't cried yet.

He decided not to think about it now; there was another person needing him. A person who, if he could, would be the first he would have clung to, in this moment of need.

He took the phone, dialed her number and waited.

'_Hello'._

Niles let out the breathing he had been holding – she had answered, and quickly, this time.

She sounded tired, and he felt a wave of sympathy for her – he understood it completely, for he was drained, too, 'Good night, Miss Babcock. It's Niles'.

He felt like an idiot at identifying himself, but it seemed the right thing to do. He was too tired to think things over, anyway, and started feeling like he had his mind processes severely impaired.

'_What is it?'_

Taken aback by the annoyed answer, Niles searched for something that sounded appeasing, and chastised himself for not being able to plan it better, 'I… I thought I should call to… to know if you are in need of anything'.

There was a moment of silence, and he felt a knot in his throat at the possibility of breaking any kind of peace she had achieved. Of course, his intention was to help, but maybe in his need to have some contact with her, he had not considered that she had managed to cope, and he was intruding.

He was ready to say he was sorry, and opened his mouth, but discovered he couldn't speak.

Niles looked at the hand he had on his lap, to see if it was still shaking, and saw it was clenched in a hurtful fist.

That was when he realized _he_ was on the verge of a breakdown, and that phone was as much about assessing her well-being as guaranteeing _his_.

That was why he hadn't threw a zinger her way, or didn't have the mind to tease her. He couldn't. He was too much on edge. He just needed to hear her voice and know she was still there, with him.

The silence stretched, and Niles guessed Miss Babcock must be, too, feeling like a wreck – thus the difficulties in answering and the disturbed tone of voice he had detected.

Maybe he should just have gone to the penthouse, instead of calling her. She was probably needing someone, anyone, and here he was, hesitating, instead of knocking on her door, making sure she had something to eat, or preparing some hot tea to sooth her nerves.

Niles knew _he_ needed that – a companion who shared the understanding he had of the family, of their dynamics, of the changes that would occur. Someone who could be with him, helping to support the people who would be needing them, dealing with the missing of such a sweet person as Sara.

With this new certainty, Niles was getting the courage to voice the offering of a visit, but she finally spoke, _'I'm all right. I'm sure Maxwell needs you way more than you can manage, anyway. Just stay with your master and leave me alone'._

Niles blinked, a cold shiver went through him, and suddenly he couldn't see a thing through the veil of tears.

He used his training to level his voice, 'Have a good night, Miss Babcock'.

'_Bye'._

He almost couldn't hang up: it seemed there was something shaking him from inside, and the phone wouldn't fit in its usual place.

Finally he made it, joined his hands, gulped and closed his eyes.

The crying arrived suddenly, painfully, breaking through the layers and layers of control he had built in the last hours, for the sake of the people who surrounded him.

He had never felt so lonely, in his life.

He hadn't realized until then how much he needed _her_, and not the contrary, and knowing she didn't spare a thought about him felt like she had decided to put him in a locked room and leave him there to die.

There was no way he could reach her, no way he could just tell her how fragile and vulnerable he was and how much he had hoped she would be the one to get him in her arms and make him forget the horrible fate the world reserved sometimes to the best people.

He had really believed, for a moment, that they were feeling the same, and the harsh reality was that two people couldn't be more at odds.

Niles tried not to think of that night ever again, but he knew something had broke inside him: he had started his long and painful process of thinking of Miss Babcock as a cold hearted rich socialite – someone he should never, ever depend on, because she simply couldn't consider him as a person.

Every time she made a gesture towards Mister Sheffield, stayed away from the children or voiced how beneath her he was, it made him feel again the pain of that night, and he repeated to himself the evil one was the _real_ Babcock, and that the one he thought he had known before was just a creation of his wishful imagination.

Niles knew the memory of that night was one of the reasons he feared calling her, tonight, and that was why her nice actions of lately had been so disturbing to him: he still craved for human, loveableBabcock, and no matter how much time has passed, his heart still went mad every time he had a glimpse of her better side.

When she seemed to be offering it to him, the hope came back, and he thought he would go mad in a mix of joy and fear.

And then he entered in panic mode and insulted her horribly, in an attempt to avert the strong good feelings she aroused in him.

It was ridiculous, it hurt, it made him frustrated and unhappy and unfulfilled, and still it repeated itself from time to time: she turned more human, he felt enchanted again, they got closer, she crushed him, he insulted her and convinced himself she was the worst person in the world, she acted accordingly, for some reason she turned more human, he felt lured and the cycle started again.

Even if it had been a disaster that time, Niles still thought there was not any other way to deal with the situation but calling her: the therapist had a point in saying that he should express his discomfort to Babcock and, if she didn't go to the mansion, and he didn't have the guts to go to the penthouse, what else could he do?

Niles took the phone and dialed, breathing deeply in an attempt to control his nerves.

The phone rang twice.

'_Hello?'_

Niles' voice stuck on his throat at the dreading feeling of time repeating itself, and he kept silent, searching furiously for legitimate reasons to give up.

'_Who is that? I swear to God, if this is some creep, I'll…'_

With furious Babcock he could deal, 'It's me'.

'_Niles? Something happened?'_

His heart was beating madly at the fact she had recognized his voice, and he gulped down to stop the nonsense, 'No… I mean, yes. You haven't come to work in three days'. He facepalmed at the way he had phrased it: in his hurry to clarify what the problem was, because he didn't want her to think there was some sudden tragedy, he ended up sounding more worried than he should be. So, he added, 'If you picked up the phone, I deduce you managed to take off the rock from your coffin'.

She sounded relieved, _'Thank God it's not anything serious'_, but then the smirk was clear in her voice, _'Missing me that much already?'_

Niles was suddenly in a panic.

It had been a horrible idea to call her.

He couldn't handle it.

How was it he had thought that calling her was in any way better than facing her?

'_Hey, Butler Boy. I was just teasing. Are you still there or you fainted at my sweet words?'_

'Stop it'.

Damn. He had blurted it out. She would have the upper hand more quickly than ever.

CC sounded surprised, _'Stop what?'_

'This…', he searched for the words, this time, trying not to reveal too much, '…_thing_ you have been doing'.

She turned cheeky, _'Which thing?'_

He turned annoyed, 'Don't play coy, Babcock'.

She chuckled – a sound that always melt a bit of his reserves, _'Amuse me, Niles. Tell me what is it I'm doing that makes your feather duster rise in alert. I'd love to see it, by the way'._

He groaned, 'This!'

'_This what?'_

'The innuendo!', he groaned the word.

'_Oh, that'_, now he could hear the fake pouting in her voice, _'Aw. But I'm enjoying it so much… Why should I stop?'_

Niles sighed and decided to be sincere. He talked seriously, 'Because I can't take it'.

'_What do you mean? Since when you can't take anything I throw at you? You always had…'_

'Please, just listen', Niles interrupted her.

There was a moment of silence, and then she answered, adopting the same serious tone he had, _'All right'._

There was silence again, this time filled by Niles' breathing. He was glad Doctor Muller was right when he pondered Babcock would at least hear him. When he was able to speak, it was in a slightly more comfortable tone, 'I can't deal with the things you have been doing. I can't control my answers when you're nice, and I don't know where it's taking us'.

He got quiet, trying to express himself more clearly, but CC was eager to prod, '_And why is it a problem?_'

Niles felt like he was confessing a sin, 'It's making me crazy to think I may do something… too wrong'.

He didn't know why he had said that: it was too much close to saying he cared, it was a set up for a _crazy_ zinger, and this phone call was getting more and more dangerous by the second.

'_Then, it seems you think I am the one who can't take it'._

It took him a moment to understand what she was saying, and then he hurried to clarify, 'No, no, it's not you, it's me'.

'_It sounds like you're breaking up with me, Niles'_, she warned, in a matter-of fact voice that barely disguised her amusement.

He stared at the phone incredulously for a moment, made a pause to collect himself a bit after picturing which kind of relationship they would have to be into to exist the possibility of them breaking up, and how on Earth could she think he would break up with her, 'I'm serious, Miss Babcock. Please, I'd never ask you if I was not desperate'.

There was silence in her side, now. Then, she asked, sounded sincerely confused, _'I don't get it, Niles. Why is it suddenly you are not able to deal with my teasing?'_

That was a place he didn't want to go, 'You don't need to understand it'.

'_Well, then I don't know what you're asking for'_.

That was a safe place, so he plunged in, 'Just go back to hating me. To the zingers and pranks. To the demeaning', it sounded surreal to his own ears, but he went on, 'Just stop the… the…'

'_The compliments? The touching?'_, her voice went low, _'The intimacy?'_

He felt his mouth go dry at the suggestion, and his voice trembled slightly when he spoke, 'Yes'.

'_Umpf'_, was her annoyed answer, followed by a challenging, _'And what if I don't?'_

Silence. So long, in fact, that Niles didn't know how was it she hadn't asked if he was still there.

When he finally answered, all he could say was, 'I don't know, Miss Babcock. I don't know'.

And he rang up on her.


	8. War!

_People, I know there shouldn't be any excuses for such a delay in posting. However, some birds built their nest next to the glass of the window where my desktop is located, and I couldn't bring myself to disturb them. _

_Yesterday, after almost one week of not using that PC, I asked silently for their permission, turned on the machine, took some files, turned it off quickly, excused myself and got out of the room._

_I hope you agree with me there is no need to upset such neighbors. _

_I must add that this computer I'm currently using has no authomatic grammar verifier. So, sorry for any glaring mistakes._

**Therapy**

**Chapter 8: War!**

Next morning, Niles felt like he had never had so many reasons to be miserable, and serving breakfast to the family turned into a very challenging task: he couldn't stop revolving the said reasons over and over in his mind.

First one was that he had had a terrible night, not being able to sleep well after that conversation with Miss Babcock.

(Yes, the one in which he intended to put things in place and seemed just to make everything worse.)

He kept blaming himself, repeating the phone call in his head and trying to discover if there was anything he should have said to change the outcome.

(Yes, the one in which he still had no idea where they stood.)

Second reason was that he couldn't take CC Babcock from his mind. Even if he was sure she had been mocking him and that all of this was a mind game, he was aching to see her, after not being able to in three days.

It made him remember of how miserable he felt every time she had taken a vacation. Luckily, she was off as little as himself, even if it was for very different reasons: his were lack of money, opportunity and courage of letting the family at her mercy. Hers were business, an incapacity of disconnecting from work and, probably, Maxwell Sheffield.

Niles was not sure if it was better that she rarely stayed far from the mansion, so he didn't have to cope with her absense often, or if he would be a happier person if she was not such a familiar presence.

(He stored the idea of Miss Babcock being the face of a _familiar_, as in adomestic animal-shaped demon, to use when the opportunity appeared.)

Back to her devotion for Maxwell Shefield: this was the same man who had, just now, while giving his attention to the newspaper, mentioned how business was going slow because CC had called in sick for three days and said, as if he was talking about the weather, that he hoped she would get better, today, because he really needed her there.

_Well_, Niles thought, standing besides the serving table, _I need her too_, _not for any practical reason, and you're not seeing me complaining._

That leaded him to the third reason: he was missing that woman, who was great in general but, more often than it would be acceptable, decided to be subservient to a man who couldn't care less for her.

And then he had the forth reason: that same man was mentioning her at breakfast as if he had any idea of what was to really need her.

Niles felt like life had decided to be especially difficult on him, lately.

Miss Fine arrived, soon came the children; Miss Fine asked Niles why he was giving her such a small portion of everything (what he wasn't); people talked about the incoming day and the news; Miss Fine had seconds; Mister Sheffield repeated his 'concern' for his business partner.

And then the doorbell rang.

Niles couldn't suppress his longing stare and excited expression, and Miss Fine's voice brought him to reality, 'It must be Miss Babcock! It seems God heard your prayers!'

The butler realized in time that the Nanny was talking to their boss, but still grumbled to save face, 'Yes, Sir, thank you very much for invocating _that_'.

The Nanny laughed, 'Oh, Scarecrow, why are you pretending you haven't missed your sparring partner?'

Niles pretended not to hear her and went for the front door.

To his utter joy, it was really Miss Babcock who waited to be let in.

He had a feeling that she wanted to be alone with him and make clear where they stood, once she had conveniently forgotten her key today.

'Good morning, Hazel', CC said dryly as soon as he opened the door for her and stepped in, walking to the spot where she usually stopped to have her coat taken, with her back to him.

Feeling bold by the familiar stance, Niles remarked while he closed the door, 'I see Van Helsing almost succeeded, this time', he came to stand behind her but still not reached out for her coat.

He had missed her, and there was no need to end the moment so soon.

'You can bet I had to face some stupid man craziness to get here today', she threw him an annoyed glance, 'And don't be lazy. I don't have time for our games. Maxwell must have been piled up in work'.

'_I_ am lazy?', Niles asked, rejoicing silently on her mentioning _their _games, and finally reached out to take off her coat. He wanted to keep her chatting with him, giving him more time to savor the sensation of doing something for her, 'I was not the one who had to be conjured to appear at work'.

'All right, I confess', she opened her arms in faked admittance, 'I set a trap for you to go to the penthouse and find my corpse'.

Niles smiled softly, his fingertips grazing at her arms, wishing he could feel the skin hidden from him by the white shirt she was using. The feeling of closeness was very strong, as his happiness because she was really there after what had felt like an eternity, and his voice came more affectionate than he had intended, 'For God' sake, why would I do that? Do you wanted me to be arrested for exposing society to insanitary matter?'

CC chuckled, 'Because I'm sure you have wanted an excuse to touch my body for a while'.

Niles's hands came to a halt: he didn't know how to take her comment.

She had not moved from his touch (which was lingering on her too much time to go unnoticed), but she hadn't leaned on him, either, and he supposed it was a sign that she was back to that delicate balance they had before her _change_.

In doubt, he decided to revert to old tatics, 'I would surely manage the disgust if I could use my gloves, as I do every day when I have to dispose the garbage'.

Suddenly, CC freed her arms from the coat and turned around quickly, what put in evidence the fact he had been standing really close to her, and said, 'Really, Niles? You wouldn't want to touch me?'

He stayed frozen, her coat on his hands, his arms open as if he was ready to hug her. He faltered for a moment, realizing he had been caught in the act of doing all the touching he was permitted.

CC put her hands on her hips, and his eyes followed eagerly the movements, obviously taken by her.

For a moment, it seemed he would admit defeat, because it was really obvious how much he was captivated by the view.

However, Niles brought his eyes up and saw her smirk. Finally waking up, he straightened his shoulders and decided to attack, giving a step back and talking through gritted teeth, 'I thought I had been clear, last night'.

CC observed how he had folded her coat in his arm as if he was using it to protect himself, what was a precious irony, and raised her brows in fake surprise, 'Last night? How nasty of you to mention your late call!'

'There is nothing _nasty_ about it', he pouted, giving another step back and looking at the closet, so he could break eye contact pretending he was eager to put her coat away.

(What he was not, because it exhaled her scent and he adored it.)

'Are you sure?', CC asked, giving a step forward, and making him squirm when he realized he had been acting as if he wanted to be cornered against the closet door.

'Sure of what?', he asked warily.

'That the need of calling me was not related to any nasty_... _desires?', she licked her lips, 'After all, you could have waited to talk to me in person'.

Niles furrowed his brow at her, 'I didn't know when I would be able to see your _familiar_ face again'.

He gave her a sly smile but, before he could complete the zinger, she cut him off with fake surprise, 'So, you see me as a demon pet?', she shook her head, 'But, if I'm the main witch, it means the _familiar_, here, must be someone else', she smiled and locked stares with him, 'Someone who is always around me, calling me out in the middle of the night...'

Niles gulped at the idea of them meeting in some unholy hour, and tried again, 'I meant I had no idea when I would have the chance to face my demons…', he tilted his head, 'and I use plural because I'm talking about your multiple personalities, which are all evil ones'.

Niles felt like he should sound more hateful, but the thrill of throwing zingers at CC Babcock was on pair with the thrill of having CC Babcock there, close enough to him to be zingered while he looked at her face and felt her scent and the warmth of her body, and he didn't have exactly a clear mind.

His moment of pondering on how to proceed was broken when CC rested a hand on her own coat, over his arm, and whispered, 'It's interesting, because you sounded eager to hear my voice…'

He flinched but didn't take his arm away, 'Maybe I just wanted to make sure you were really far from here, not hid in a corner, waiting to attack me'.

'So, you fantasize about me waiting to take you in a dark corner?'

'That's not exactly the stuff my dreams are made of', he tried to maintain the bravery, fighting the images in his head and knowing, by the way she had licked her lips, that his phrasing was, to say the least, ambiguous.

'You know', CC said calmly and gave another step forward, 'I kept wondering, after you so ungracefully hung up on me, what had happened; and I reached a conclusion', she let her fingers press the skin of his arms through the clothes, as he had done to her, 'Want to know what was it?'

His eyes went to the hand on his arm, realizing he couldn't snatch it away without showing he was getting disturbed by her closeness.

_Besides, if I pretend I don't care, maybe she will be interested. Isn't it what keeps her hooked to Maxwell?_

Niles blinked to get out of that path and answered dryly, 'I'm usually not interested in the late hour musings of evil creatures like you'.

'Liar, liar, pants on fire', she sang in her low tone, swinging her shoulders.

To Niles, that was a delicious mix of immaturity and sexiness, and he made an effort to show annoyance, 'That's just childish. And kinda creepy'.

'However, it couldn't be more appropriate'.

'I concur: it's your general attitude'.

She chuckled, her fingers tracing his arm, 'So, you think I'm on fire...'

'I meant the creepiness'.

'What a pity', she stilled her hand and kept silent, looking at him as if she was waiting for something.

'What?', he couldn't resist asking defensively, after some moments under her intense stare, 'You just realized pity is the only thing people usually feel for you?'

She grinned, 'It's a pity you won't admit your pants were on fire, and that you just called me because you wanted even more fuel for your fantasies'.

Niles just gawked at that, too shocked for words.

CC went on, 'And you know what is the worst part? As soon as you got it, you just disconnected the call and went to mind your business, instead of letting me participate', she made the hand slide from his forearm to his arm, feeling the muscles of it, and almost reaching his shoulder. Then, she brought it back, slowly, as if she was caressing him through her coat. She gave another step forward, bringing them really close, her eyes locked with his again, 'Would you tell me which role I had in your dream world, last night, after you heard my voice? I'd love to know what you imagined doing with me'.

Niles closed his mouth and clenched his jaw in an attempt of control. He started planning how he would get away from her without making it seem like he was loosing the battle.

'You're left-handed, aren't you?', her voice sounded thickly, and suddenly she had brought her other hand to touch his fingers, that were not covered by her coat, 'I guess this was the hand you used to touch yourself while thinking of me'.

The image invaded his mind, followed by the idea of her thinking of him thinking of her, followed by the image of her touching herself while thinking of him, and Niles gave a step backwards with much less elegance than he had wished to, snatching his hand in the process.

Unable to articulate anything better, he crossed his arms as if to hide his hands (what made him feel like he was recoiling in terror), and hissed, 'Are you crazy?!'

She shrugged, 'You always said I was'.

'I really mean that, now'.

That was not the best choice of answer, because she grinned, 'It means you never really did?', then, she crossed her own arms over her chest, mirroring him, 'Oh, Butler Boy, how unexpectedly sweet of you!'

Seeing she was mocking him gave Niles the strength to get away from her. He furrowed his brown and passed by her, walking towards the dining room, 'I have no idea what the hell you think you're doing, but I won't participate on this'. When he was at a safe distance, he turned to CC time enough to announce, formally, 'Breakfast is served, Miss Babcock'.

CC answered to his back, 'Where are you taking my coat?'

Niles stopped on his tracks, realizing he was still hugging her coat against his chest, and that he would have a lot to explain if he entered the dining room like that.

He turned fully, 'I intended to use it as an apron, but it's not clean enough, and I don't intend to harm the family', he walked back quickly and threw the coat at her, 'Do something for us all. Hang'.

She caught it easily and chuckled, 'Dear Niles, so bold through the phone, so shy in person, throwing things at a distance, as if he feared I would bite'.

He clenched his fists and growled at her, 'You're such a…'

'Watch out what you're going to say', CC warned, hanging her coat and closing the closet door, 'I was not impressed by your pleading, last night', she turned to him and stopped before walking down the step, standing at a higher level than him, 'and I will not enjoy any backhanded insult'.

'I don't think I get it', he said seriously, slightly irritated by her superior stance.

'I'm just telling you I have standards', she walked down until she was in front of him.

He was more irritated now, because she still had an air of superiority, even when standing at the same level as him. He scoffed, 'As if'.

'If I hadn't, I wouldn't talk to you', before he could recover from the shock of not knowing if it was a compliment or an insult, she added, 'We have established the zingers we trade are witty and funny. If you don't intend to keep our exchanges qualified, I'm afraid I'll have to remind you how things must be done'.

'Are you trying to menace me?', he asked, baffled.

'Take it as you wish', she answered, 'The important thing is: you'll do as I say to keep things between us as I decided they should be'.

That infuriated him, 'You're not giving me orders, Miss Babcock'.

She smiled and winked at him, 'Let's see if you can stop me'.

He followed her with his eyes while she passed by him towards the dining room, and started walking after her, saying with deep annoyance, 'You'll regret it, witch'.

'Be careful, Niles', she threw over her shoulder, 'I'm not just a woman in a mission', she stopped and turned again, 'I'm _CC Babcock_ in a mission. You know what it means, don't you?'

He made a scorful face, 'That the demon I usually have to face thinks it was granted powerful new tricks?'

'No, baby', she answered patronizingly, coming to him close enough to adjust his tie in an intimate fashion, '_I_ have new _powers_. _You_'ll be learning new _tricks_'.

She patted his chest, threw him a confident smile and turned, this time walking away from his frozen form until she disappeared.


	9. Keep fighting if you can

**Therapy**

**Chapter 9: Keep fighting if you can**

After her moment with Niles, CC entered the dining room and tossed her trademark 'Hello, hello' at the family.

(Quite cheerfully, by the way.)

While she pulled a chair to sit at her usual place, she heard the Nanny's worried voice over the other people's greetings, 'Oy, Miss Babcock. Have you killed Niles?'

She looked up, unable to totally suppress her surprise, 'Why do you say that?'

The woman started counting on her fingers, 'It took you more than usual to get here from the front door, Niles went there and didn't come with you and you're _smiling_'.

CC noticed every Sheffield in the room was now staring at her, and she raised a brow, what made every Sheffield in the room quickly go back to eating.

She started unfolding her napkin to place it on her lap, 'Your concern by the Tidy Bowl Man is touching, Nanny Fine, but you have nothing to worry about', she shrugged, 'Of course, I may have said something that shocked him, and he is probably going to use it as an excuse to be his usual lazy self''.

The butler himself entered at that moment, seeming in a hurry.

(It was almost as if he had taken some moments to get out of something, and now came after whatever had trapped him.)

As soon as his eyes found the blonde calmly waiting at the table, he stopped and pointed at her, 'I'm sorry, Sir. I tried to close the door before it could enter, but strays can be resourceful'.

Maxwell turned his head to him, 'Please, Old Man, go easy on CC. She had just been sick', he then looked back at her, furrowing his brow in confusion, 'What was it you had, again?'

Niles, on his way to the the serving table, spoke before she could, 'I don't think it's something she can mention in front of the children'.

'Don't mind us', Fran said, raising, 'We're on our way!'

The three siblings got up and went with their Nanny to finish preparations for school, and as soon as the commotion was over and the departing group was out of earshot, CC answered, 'It was some horrible headache, Maxwell'.

She said it with her head high, so she coould take in the reactions of the men in the room.

Maxwell gave her a sympathetic glance.

Niles, whose back was turned to her, did a small derisive sound.

CC added, 'Luckily, I'm very good at dealing with it'.

Niles stopped mid movement to turn to her and roll his eyes, to show her he knew what she was doing.

Seeing CC was smirking and thinking it was related to how well she had dealt with her sickness, the businessman gave his partner an approving smile, 'I'm glad it's solved, CC'.

'I didn't say it was. In fact, the war has just began'.

Maxwell looked at her as if she had grown a second head.

Niles turned, squinted at her and approached with her plate.

The producer was confused, 'What do you mean?'

'I still have this little pain…', CC waited until Niles had come to stand by the side of her chair, serving her coffee and placing her plate in front of her, blocking her from Maxwell's vision, and mouthed at him '_in the ass'_, and then added, after seeing his failed attempt of hiding a smile, '… but I'm sure I'll be able to manage it. Thank you for your concern'.

'I see', Maxwell hesitantly said, and was going to say more – apparently, to make clearer how he didn't see anything –, but Fran's voice called him from the main room, and he got up, 'Oh, I hope you don't mind, CC, but I will see the children out'.

'Yeah', she answered distractedly, already sipping her latte and choosing what she was going to eat, 'See you at the office'.

Maxwell exited, and Niles hurriedly turned away again and started fussing with things on the serving table.

CC looked at him and let the silence settle between them, sipping the latte he had prepared exactly how she liked it, while enjoying the view of him for some moments.

He had a nice body – it was not going to be exactly a sacrifice to make the man show some affection to her.

(She was not shy of admitting to herself she wanted him, anymore.)

She had been indecisive about what to do for three days, not even the therapy being enough to clear her mind; however, his phone call, confessing how disturbed he was and pleading her to stop the niceties, was enough for her to make up her mind.

She would break those walls.

She would show him he had no way out of this – he was stuck with her for something that was such a unique relationship he had to stop being stupid and act accordingly.

It would not be easy, of course – things never were, between them – but she intended to do it anyway.

Now that she had realized how much she craved his attention, and was sure he craved hers, there was no amount of stupidity on Niles' part that could make CC stop.

As if he had felt her eyes on him, the butler turned to her, and glared at her appreciative stare.

She gave him a sultry smile.

He glared harder.

Not resisting the opportunity, she blew him a kiss.

(If she could have some fun while doing it, better.)

Niles huffed, and then sighed in exasperation, 'I see you're still not quite yourself. If you don't need anything else, I'll be in the kitchen'.

He spoke and was already getting out, but CC called, 'Wait'.

He turned, visibly bracing himself for a new battle.

CC was getting up, 'I think I'll eat in the office, so I can start working as soon as possible', she took the latte with her, but left the plate on the table, 'Would you fetch me something later?'

'Sure', he answered, and then realized he had sounded too available. Damn her and her gentleness, 'I'll make sure your bowl is ready at the usual time'.

'Thank you', CC answered, smiling oversweetly, 'Even if I know you're just trying to be mean, I really appreciate the routine'.

He raised his brows at her manifesting her contentment at something they had, and fought the warmth on his chest, 'Yes, routines are important to domestic animals. And we wouldn't want you to get all loose after the money we invested in your training'.

She nodded, 'We're back to the _familiar_ thing, I see. You just called me a stray dog for the sake of appearances, then. What you really like is to think of me in homey environments'.

Niles squinted at her and trying to sound rigid, 'If you keep behaving like that, you won't have any treats'.

CC went closer to the serving table, pretending she had forgotten her plate and had to look over the options, and mused, distractedly, 'Oh, all right, as if you wanted me to be a good girl...', she sipped her latte and looked at him, 'If you don't go to the office, I can always come to the kitchen. I like the breaks'.

Niles blinked, seeing her close to him, calm and nonchalant, as if they had an easy intimacy...

...what they hadn't. Of course, not.

'It comes as a surprise, once you work like a dog'.

She shook her head and stretched her neck, 'That's a lame one, Niles. I don't know if it qualify by the required standards of our relationship'.

CC couldn't contain her laughter at him trying to hide his nerves with the famous wringling hands: it seemed her closeness, her relaxed stretching and her voice speaking of _their relationship _were too much to him.

'Umpf', at her mirth, Niles threw his shoulders in something CC found very French, 'What are you going to do?Throw food at me in punishment for a bad joke?'

'If people threw food at old jokes every time they saw one, you would be long buried alive at the grocery store'.

Niles gulped down. He was obviously impressed and kind of moved by her zinger and the smile she was giving him while saying it.

She was making clear she was just teasing, and he didn't know how to get out of the feeling of belonging it brought on him.

She noticed he was at a loss, winked and waved a hand, 'Besides, have I ever done it in the mansion? Throwing _food _at you, I mean'.

He let out a sigh of relief at her letting him off the hook, even if it was with more innuendo, 'No'.

'And what do you think it means?'

Niles squared his jaw, deciding to avert whatever she was trying to say before she had the opportunity to drag him even deeper in the moment of understanding. He tilted his head as if analyzing her, 'It seems you're better trained than I give you credit for'.

'Yeah, in a sense', she conceded, surprising him, 'You do delicious things, and I really enjoy them. If this is saying I'm used to respond positively to the things you do, that's right', she licked her lips, 'And I'm talking about the food and the conversation. That's why I don't play with the food you prepare and I go so much to the kitchen to spend time with you', she spoke seriously, and then added as if she had just realized something, 'That is one of the biggest differences between us, I guess: I try to keep the things I like, while you make the most bizarre efforts to put away the things you care about'.

Niles didn't quite process what she had said, but knew it was true and dangerous, and hurried to speak, 'I have no idea what you are talking about'.

'Oh, yes, you do', she got closer too quick for him to react and rested the palm of her free hand on his cheek affectionately, 'You tease'.

Niles opened his mouth to say something, but his voice wouldn't come out.

CC smiled, took her hand away and said, joyfully, 'Know what? I'm just taking my latte, now. It's perfect, by the way, exactly as I like it. Thank you', she turned and walked to the door of the dining room, already feeling the tingling of his stare all over her, 'Don't wait too much to bring me something to nibble on, Niles. I can't wait for you to give it to me'.


	10. In motion

_I just got my PC with the grammar corrector back this morning, once the birds were ready to go their way today. I don't know if they appreciated how I was respectful of their privacy, judging by the mess they left behind._

_So, long wait, but at least you'll just have the usual level of typos and glaring mistakes. _

_I thank Iza with all my heart for the nudge to update when I take too much time. This chapter was really difficult to write, and your incentive was precious._

**Therapy **

**Chapter 10: In motion**

CC couldn't stop smiling to herself and humming lowly while she read contracts in the office.

She had all the reasons to pat herself on the back, once her plan was working perfectly: she had left Niles shocked twice, since her arrival, that morning, and had done it in such a manner that he couldn't decide what was going on.

It meant he was so surprised he didn't run away, what was already a step forward from their previous encounters, in her opinion.

However, she wanted more. And she was confident she would get there.

Her strategy was what gave her such confidence: she intended to play their old game, but with a subtle new twist, and the territory was familiar enough for her to feel like an experienced hunter who knew how to tease enough to puzzle her prey and keep his curiosity picked.

(If there was something that made CC Babcock feel her body tingle in excitement, it was thinking things in terms of hunting.)

She intended to set the trap and create the circumstances for Niles to approach it by his own volition. Maybe there would be some fuss when he realized what he had got himself in but, once it was clear there was no way out (there was no way _she_ would let him go), he would give up resisting and would surrender to her will.

She still wasn't quite sure of what exactly she wanted from her Butler Boy, besides attention and nicer responses, but the feeling that there was more to come their way, if they permitted themselves, grew stronger every time they interacted. CC kept wondering what would happen if they gave up the pretense of hate at the same time, and set to build something stable and dependable, instead of just enjoying the sparks and fireworks they had between them.

She liked the idea of working with Niles in order to do it. After each of her therapy sessions she considered that, if she had managed to stop thinking of their bonding as related only to sexual attraction, and had started permitting her mind to deal with the feelings she had for him, it was obvious he was capable of doing the same.

However, it was obvious he had deep issues, too. All the years of bantering and trying to demean the other didn't exactly help to make their bond something he related to good things.

So, before she convinced him to do anything with her, she had to make him compromise.

And it would not happen if he kept running scared.

That was why she was sure the best plan was to make clear her intentions, but through a veil of ambiguous teasing: she couldn't ask him to stay close to her, but she could attract him enough to be tied up by her, and then show him there was nothing he should be afraid of.

(The notion of him tied up while she made a show just for his sake did something to CC.

To relieve some of the tension, she flipped through her pile of contracts and found some sheets of music. Maybe criticizing the lyrics of a sappy love song would help her put aside her current obsession with taking Niles to herself.

_Dear – what a phrasing!_)

While she wrote down some notes besides the song, CC remembered his phone call, the previous night, and how decisive it had been: when he rang up on her, she couldn't feel indignant, so impressed by his vulnerability she was. The man was so desperate he guessed the only way to deal with her scheming was to beg for her to stop it.

He must be really out of himself.

He even asked her to exchange the niceties for demeaning, what was absurd.

It just served to prove that Niles couldn't, for some reason, deal with their closeness.

He had even said to her that _he didn't know_ what would happen if she insisted in the nice behavior.

It meant he didn't trust himself.

And that was why CC started planning on making him snap and see what he was trying to hide from her.

The thought of seeing something of Niles that set him in a panic of being exposed to her gave CC a new thrill.

She couldn't stop her mind from reeling at the possibilities, of fantasizing about things that he couldn't help but wanting to do to/with her, once they were so attracted for each other.

Things that may be shameful in the light of the day, but were made perfect when fueled by love and desire.

(CC breathed deeply to calm herself and added a mocking note to the song she was looking at. Sometimes she couldn't believe she had to point out some things to professional musicians.)

Things had got clear and smooth as soon as she decided the best way to deal with the situation at hand was to keep an ambiguous position, making clear the teasing was not over, just had reached a new level, and that Niles and his fears had no right to decide the rules of their new relationship.

_Why do I feel so good when I think of us having a relationship? It seems I'll have a lot to discuss with Bort in my next session..._

CC shook her head slightly and took another sheet of music.

Soon she noticed all the lyrics were supposed to give strength to the leading female character, but ended up making her sound plain and superficial.

She started writing lots of comments on the sides of the lyrics, pointing out how she believed the dynamics of the character should work.

CC felt energized, wise and empowered. It was great that she was capable of working and, at the same time, keep in mind that at any moment her Butler Boy would be there, with something in his sleeve for her. He would want to get the upper hand, and that was the reason why she had made her plan based on light provocations – she wanted him to feel safe enough to come closer and try to retaliate.

With some luck, he wouldn't realize the fact that him coming to her was exactly what she wanted, and her trap would work perfectly.

CC got impressed by the quantity of notes she had put in this particular horrible song, and by how many of them were related to how she saw the position of a woman in a love story.

_(Uhm… Love story… Would that be what I've been living in? _

_This would explain why I feel so good about my desires, and why I believe I know more about love than the lyricist I hired…)_

At least, she could thank herself for being so competent and adding some deep to the business while she dreamed of the things she wanted from Niles as soon as he became hers.

_(Dear, I really got it bad..._, she smiled at the light shiver that took her at the thought.)

'CC, this is a bit distracting'.

She raised her head and saw her business partner, glaring at her from his desk.

'What?'

'The humming. The head shaking. The appreciative murmurs. I know you enjoy working, but it's not helping me to keep focus on my own reading'.

Lots of comments went through her head at that, all of them questioning how he dared to mention focus when he was the first to fall for Nanny Fine's distractions every time she breezed in; however, CC decided against voicing any of them. Maxwell being obtuse had stopped being charming to her, 'Sorry, I didn't realize I was doing it. It must be the good feeling of not being sick anymore. It can give you a kind of high'.

'Denial is a very serious component for a lot of mental diseases', Niles' voice sounded from the open door, 'I hope you don't stop taking your medications, based on the illusion you're cured'.

CC turned her head at him, showing in her face the pleasure she had by hearing his voice, and letting her eyes roam over his body.

He was carrying a covered tray, and had his eyes firmly set on her.

He had come to challenge her.

It seemed promising.

'Aren't we lucky to have you to keep us up to date on mental problems?', she asked him, joining her hands on her lap and signaling he had her attention, now, 'You surely are the most experienced person in the field, here'.

'Really, Babcock?', he scoffed easily, 'Demeaning yourself won't do anything for your already damaged reputation'.

CC shrugged, 'I meant you wouldn't have survived a day in this house since the Fines arrived, if you were not really good with the loony bin'.

Niles just blinked for some moments, processing the fact she hadn't threw a zinger at him, but at the Nanny's family, what took out all the weight of his barb, 'I have had years of training with a very difficult case'.

CC smiled at Niles accepting her argument and bringing the focus to her again, 'I'm glad you're convinced that even the craziest woman deserves a chance, and dedicate your time to learn how to deal with her'.

His brows raised at the implication, 'Someone has to protect the populace'.

She let out a smile, 'Don't be so strict. There are fields of action where some crazy are on demand'.

Now he smirked, 'Yes, until the crazy ones get too demanding'.

Her voice dropped an octave, 'If we ask for interesting things, what's the problem in wanting just a bit more?'

Niles opened his mouth and stuffed his chest, moving a bit his shoulders, as if preparing to physically approach her. It was a telltale sign that he would engage in a serious battle of zingers with her.

CC knew, whatever was to come, it could go through two very different paths: he could choose to say something harsh and tell her how far-stretched was the notion of her getting anything from anyone; or he could keep the challenge on, and throw her something that would bring up how interested he was in her demands.

Before she could know what would be his choice, a voice interrupted the moment, 'Are you going to stay at the door all morning, Old Man?'

The butler looked at his boss and seemed to remember the other man was there. He entered, walking to the side of the desk, 'I'm sorry, Sir. I just got carried over'.

CC spoke, smiling at the realization that Niles was going to the place where he could turn and see her easily, 'My fault, Maxwell. He can't help falling under my spell, now and then'.

Both men looked at her, and she just smirked, her legs crossed, one feet dangling joyfully in the air.

Maxwell frowned, confused.

Niles' mouth raised slightly at its corners, a hint of delight appearing in his face.

CC could never have such a good example of how different those men were: while Maxwell was often limited to the task he had at hand, getting easily confused by anything that didn't follow what he expected, Niles would be perceptive of everything around him, quickly getting the meaning of her gestures and giving them the relevance she deserved.

And more: while her business partner would still treat her as a secretary, not really listening to her advice, the butler considered her all the time – he commented on her, he paid attention, he dedicated his time to deal with her and to take into account everything about her.

Even the things that went against his own instincts of self-preservation.

The truth was he gained nothing from it. And, still, he did it all the time.

(It was nice to have someone in her life that, even if in a twisted and confusing way, had a disinterested connection with her. She was so used to people who wanted her money or her influence, or that pretended they respected her for various reasons, that it was refreshing to know Niles was around just because he couldn't stop himself from caring.

That was something worth fighting for.)

The butler adjusted his tie in a gesture to change the mood, while turning his face away from the socialite. He put the tray on the desk, took off the cover from the plate and showed it to her, 'As promised'.

CC saw the shining in his eyes and looked at the plate.

There were pancakes.

An immense pile of delicious looking little pancakes shaped as cartoon bones, to be exact.

She looked at him, careful to use an oversweet tone that could be taken as sarcasm and endearment, 'It must have taken a lot of your time to do them, Niles. I appreciate the gesture of stopping being lazy and incompetent for one hour and produce something that seems really nice'.

He stayed with the plate on his left hand, 'If it means you'll be fed enough to not unleash your fury on us, mortals', he threw her a fake grin, 'You're always welcome, Miss Babcock'.

CC squinted at him, to hide her interest in the soft edges of his voice when he said her name. It was a good sign if he couldn't mask it totally.

Niles put the plate back on the tray and started rearranging things on it.

CC kept observing his movements, delighting in knowing that he had, in fact, dedicated his time to do something for her.

(And at the ideas the way he moved gave her.)

When Niles seemed satisfied by the design he had achieved, he took the breakfast-in-bed tray and approached CC to put it on her knees, 'Please, let me know if this is enough'.

'Don't worry, I'm not afraid of _demanding_ things', she said in a low tone, just to tease him. Then, she adjusted the tray, surveying the contents to see what he had prepared – the absurdly big pile of bone-shaped pancakes, some syrup, the mug of tea, the knife and fork. She felt the amazing scent of the food bring out her appreciation, 'Uhmmm. Yummy!'

'Yes', was all he said, while straightening himself slowly.

CC found it strange that Niles would be silent while she attacked the food he had brought to her (so many animal zingers at his choice!), and looked up at him to see what had happened.

It was evident on his face.

He was visibly fighting some good old tenderness he felt every time she recognized something he did: his eyes were softened, his hands joined in front of him with fingertips touching, his posture slightly turned to her, as if he intended to reach out and caress her any moment.

The thought made her smile lovingly at him.

Niles' left hand moved a bit, and for a moment CC thought he would really reach out for her.

Realizing he had been staring too long, he turned to his spot besides the desk again and said, in an attempt of dry voice that sounded shaken, 'Maybe I should have prepared a second plate'.

CC sipped her tea to gain time. They just had a moment, and she had to decide if she should push it a bit further or let things where they were for the time being, 'No need to. I can keep my urges at bay until lunch'.

Niles looked at her and raised his brows, 'It would be nice'.

'Wouldn't it?', CC agreed, innocently, and didn't resist the temptation to lick some syrup from her fork slower than it was necessary.

The blush that crept up Niles' collar seemed to project his mouth open and glue his eyes to her lips.

'I would like my tea to be served still today, Niles', Maxwell said, what brought his butler's attention to him. While being served, he stated, 'Well, at least I see you've decided to be civil. It's a nice change of pace for you two'.

'Some deals must be made, Sir', Niles commented and moved to put the mug in front of Maxwell, seizing the opportunity to stand besides his boss, facing CC again.

CC realized he had repositioned himself to see more of her, but at the moment she was unfortunately not exactly what she could call _sexy_: she had just put a healthy piece of pancake in her mouth, and was chewing on it avidly.

(She had been really hungry, after all.)

She felt a bit embarrassed by being caught with her mouth full, and her eyes widened slightly, as if looking for something to do.

Her embarrassment disappeared when she saw Niles was fighting a genuine smile.

His mouth was set stubbornly in a line, but those blue eyes were clearly showing how happy he felt seeing she was enjoying his food.

The thought that Niles liked the sight of her for sexual _and_ loving reasons made CC feel all hot and moved, at the same time, and she looked down at her plate, in an uncontrolled display of shyness.

She was not used to have feelings for the men she was attracted for. She had always dealt with tenderness and desire as if they were two very different things, but with Niles they came always all mixed up, and it was awesome, disconcerting and kind of addicting.

When she forced herself to bring her eyes up again, Niles was still looking at her, seemingly doing his chores for Maxwell in autopilot while observing her reaction with interest.

She may have been seen eating not exactly as a lady, but if she was reading him correctly, he was as amused by her spontaneity as he had been by the flirting.

(_And she scores!_, CC congratulated herself.)

At her now steady gaze, he averted his eyes and added to his previous words about deals, 'Even if one can't take pride with such associations'.

Maxwell frowned, looking at the butler, and decided not to comment on that. He relaxed in his chair with the mug in his hands, 'Maybe we should have a break'.

'_That_ would be nice', Niles said, grinning wickedly, going to his spot by the side of the desk again, and gaining a glare from his employer.

'I can multitask', CC said, with her mouth half full.

'Yes, she can', Niles pointed at her with his left hand, 'As we see in this obvious display of charm and efficiency'.

CC looked at him, realizing he had attacked her mentioning exactly what had moved him some moments before.

It meant every time he commented negatively on her, he was fighting something he liked on her.

(That was huge.)

It involved every word he had said about her appearance, her talent, her way of dealing with things.

(That was really huge.)

She had to sip her tea to control a bit of the emotion. Then, she spoke, 'It's easy to be efficient with such a task, Niles. I was hungry and I love your pancakes. About the charm, well, you know what they say – some things are in the eyes of the beholder'.

Not fully recovered from the sensations she was bringing on him, Niles answered defensively, 'Now I'm to blame for your bad eating habits'.

'At least I'm not the one who considers himself a bad habit', she smirked, 'What is, in itself, a bad habit'.

He raised his brows in sincere amusement, 'Someone is very proud of her puns, today'.

This time, Maxwell's voice interrupted the moment before _she_ could formulate a suitable answer, 'There is something I must talk to you about, CC, but it can wait until you decide the break is over'.

The blonds looked at the producer and realized he had got uncomfortable, and decided to call them on whatever they were doing.

It bothered them that Maxwell had mentioned a _break,_ because it made it seem like what they were doing was not exactly serious.

And, at the moment, there was nothing more serious than that.

CC got back to her pancakes, noticing Niles immediately started rearranging things on the desk in what seemed a very complex pattern, delaying his departure from the office and making clear he was not part of the so called 'break', and had real stuff to do there.

The producer's eyes went from one to another, observing the both of them, and getting increasingly agitated at the fact he was being ignored.

He cleared his throat, 'Well, CC… It's not an easy subject…'

Niles produced from thin air what seemed to be a mini feather duster (and ended being a foldable one, what reminded CC of a delightful careless butler dancing in his underwear), and started dusting the shelves besides Maxwell.

The producer seized the opportunity to gesture at CC, pointing the butler, 'As I said, I don't know if I should approach it now…'

CC had an urge to laugh at Maxwell thinking he was doing any good asking her help into sending Niles away, got the syrup with one hand and motioned for him to go on with the other.

Her partner raised a brow at Niles making an excuse to stay and CC not minding it, even with the possibility of a tough subject being brought up.

The man had real difficulties to deal with surprises because, even if he now knew she was all right with it, he turned his head in a new attempt, 'Niles?'

The butler didn't stop dusting, and just threw over his shoulder, 'Yes, Sir?'

Maxwell crossed his arms over his chest and glared ahead.

Now CC had to suppress her annoyance at the childish gesture.

Niles stopped with the shelves and came to dust the desk – making sure he was avoiding Maxwell's mug, while working carefully around it – and asking with an air of fake innocence, 'Is there anything you need?'

And now CC had to suppress the urge to jump from the green sofa and stand by his side to see his act closer.

(She finished one more pancake and started reorganizing the tray to distract herself and contain her desire of brushing Maxwell aside to have fun with Niles.)

Maxwell made a gesture forward with his hand, 'I was going to ask you exactly that!'

'What? You mean this?', the butler blinked in confusion, then smiled as if he had just realized what the commotion was about, pointed at the feather duster in his hand and at the desk, making a motion around the mug, 'Oh, Sir, don't mind me. I'm used to figure things out by myself in my line of work'.

CC gave up resisting and got up, lowering the tray on the green sofa and approaching the front of the desk, 'Maybe we should buy one of those toys that teach forms to children, Maxwell. They are color based. He will feel challenged, but not too much'.

Niles threw her a dirty look, 'At least, my specimen can see colors'.

'Good to know. I thought people still couldn't tell which kind of creature you're related to, Nessy', she easily volleyed back, 'I'll buy it myself', she threw him a daring look, 'I always wanted to give you toys'.

'The kind of toys you're used to won't be found in a shop for children', he scowled at her.

CC baited her eyelashes, and her voice went down an octave, 'Then, maybe you'll want to play with me'.

'I'm serious, Niles', Maxwell called his attention back.

Both blonds looked at the Broadway producer, startled.

Was it possible that he hadn't registered CC's comment or noticed the heated insinuations they were exchanging?

'What?', he asked at the eyes on him, 'We have things to discuss, here, and your petty quarrels aren't helping'.

Niles and CC relaxed: Maxwell had no idea what was going on and just wanted to get things in a place where he could deal with them.

They turned to each other, searching for a silent acknowledgment that they would let their conversation aside, and concentrate on whatever Maxwell wanted to, by the time being.

When their eyes met, they understood what the other wanted immediately, and were sure they were thinking along the same lines, as often happened.

They had a hard time looking away, keeping their eyes locked in silent communication.

CC wondered how many times it – this pretense of challenge – had happened, and they just seized the opportunity to stare into each others eyes because they had a connection that just could be publicly displayed in such situations.

'If you don't have anything else to do here, I'll ask you to leave us, Old Man. My subject with CC is kind of personal'.

The danger flashed in the socialite's mind: Maxwell never had anything personal to discuss with her; why was it that he had, now?

Exactly when she wanted to bring _Niles_ closer to her?

(_What is it about bad timing?!)_

'Just say it, Maxwell. I keep no secrets from Hazel here'.

The businessman raised both brows in shock, and Niles had an expression of uncertainty.

She added, 'It's not possible to keep secrets from a person who is constantly listening through the door, or using the intercom, or one of those ridiculous gadgets he buys to spy on people'.

Niles straightened his back and answered, with dignity, 'I just try to perform my duties the better I can'.

CC's only answer was humming the theme song for _Inspector gadget_.

The butler made a face at his nemesis, intended to show annoyance, even if it was obvious he had appreciated the zinger.

(And her lips moving to sing _u-hu _so close to him.)

CC chuckled lowly, and smiled at Niles.

And he smiled back.

(It was magical.)

Maxwell now frowned, realizing he would have to do something if he wanted to have their attention, 'Then, CC, here it goes'.

'Yes?', she asked, turning her eyes to her partner, a smile still lingering on her face.

Maxwell relaxed a bit, 'Our company was invited to this party next Friday...'

'I remember', she interrupted nonchalantly, 'It is something about fighting some disease, wasn't it?'

'In fact, this one is related to animal rights'.

Niles just looked at CC with an overjoyed expression, then calmed himself at her glaring back at him and raised a hand, 'All right, I won't say a thing'.

'Why?', she asked, a hand on her hip, 'Is it so easy it's beneath you?'

He tilted his head, 'In fact, it's too difficult', he grinned, 'Too many options'.

They shared grins over the zingers, this time.

Maxwell raised his voice to be heard over their silent battle, 'All the important people will be there, as we have discussed, from actors to theater owners. We talked about both of us going, this time, to make sure we get a hold on everybody who matters'.

'How fortunate that next Friday is a full moon, then', Niles immediately reacted, still looking at CC, 'You'll make quite an impression in an event like this'.

'That's nice of you to be attentive to the time of the month I go through my change, Niles. It comes in handy to organize the company's schedule', she answered and went to stand besides him, at the side of the desk, 'However, don't you think it is bit inappropriate that you're keeping track of how much fur I have covering my body? How are you doing it? Taking shots of me when I'm not looking?'

Even Maxwell had his eyes wide at that.

Niles got uncomfortable at her closeness while mentioning the possibility of him being interested in her nude body, 'The only shots I'll ever take from you are related to the whisky glasses I must hide if we want you able to stand on your own during backers' parties'.

'I'm surprised', CC declared, 'I thought your _shot_ zinger would involve hunters shooting me'.

'Sometimes…', he started.

And they finished together, '… _these things just write themselves_'.

Delighted by how similar their minds were, again, they exchanged new grins.

In her enthusiasm, CC nudged Niles, and he made that shake shoulder motion and averted his eyes, as he did when he was happy but a bit shy about something.

(And, once he didn't make an effort to get away from her, CC let her right shoulder and arm stay touching his left ones.)

'Well, CC, the point is', Maxwell resumed, a bit annoyed by the constant interruptions, 'Chandler will be there'.

'And?', she asked, quickly, while sensing Niles tense by her side.

The butler got immediately blank faced and put his hands quickly behind his back, what put some distance between them.

'I know you were... involved, at some point', Maxwell answered, now with hesitance, 'Once you mentioned you wouldn't go if he confirmed his presence, I understand you don't feel comfortable around him'.

'If she was to be uncomfortable every time she meets a man she has been with...', Niles started, with a deep frown that indicated bad things were to come from his mouth.

However, he stopped talking abruptly and looked at the woman by his side with wide eyes.

Maxwell got confused by the pair at the side of his desk: CC had sneaked her arm on his butler's back, and he didn't know what she had done, but it had been enough to make the man give up what he intended to say.

(CC didn't want Niles to think she was making a show in front of Maxwell, so she had moved in order to take Niles' hand in hers, to make him look at her and know he was dangerously close to a territory she didn't want him to go.

She almost regretted the gesture, but after a moment his eyes told her he understood.

He kept in silence, and CC squeezed his hand in thanks and let it go, not without lingering on it for a moment more and grazing her fingertips on his when she pulled her own hand away.

She felt giddy at the fact he turned his own hand palm up, to better feel her parting hand, and then let his arms rest besides his body again, resuming the contact they had before.)

A bit worried that some violence was going on, Maxwell cleared his throat, 'Well, CC...?'

She looked at him with decision in her posture and voice, 'I'll go'.

'Just like that? But you said…'

'I know what I said. However, if Niles comes with me there will be no problem'.

'What?', both British men asked.

'I agree with you that we should both go to the party, Maxwell. I guess you're dying to take Nanny Fine, once she will whine for years if she discovers you went to a party without her', she rolled her eyes in annoyance, 'I want to take someone I can show off to Chandler, to keep him far from me'.

'You want to show off... Niles?', Maxwell asked, confused.

CC sensed Niles tense again, and she turned slightly to him, so the front of her body was really close to him and she was able to discreetly let her hand rest on his lower back and slide up in a soothing caress, 'Yes. Chandler knows him, and will know not to mess with me when I have someone _familiar_ by my side', she looked at Niles and grinned, in what was obviously a zinger he got, because he smirked at her. 'Besides, we are great at the dancing floor. I'm sure it will destroy any possibility of him getting closer and asking for a revival of any type. One of the things I have told him when we broke up was that I would never believe in a relationship with a man that couldn't sweep me off of my feet at the dancing floor'.

Niles' head snapped at her at that, and CC saw the hope in him. She could almost hear his heart accelerating at the idea of her considering something they had as basic for a relationship.

'So, Old Man? What do you say?', Maxwell asked with a malicious smirk, 'Are you free this Friday night?'

CC knew Maxwell didn't mean bad, but she was aware of how those words could crush Niles' fragile self-esteem, hinting he didn't have a life. The way his jaw set and he glared at the producer showed he had felt the hit. So, she spoke quickly, her hand still resting on his back, 'I hope it is not your night off. If it is, I'm sure Maxwell will agree to change it'.

Niles licked his lips, obviously gaining time to deal with the surprise of CC Babcock defending his right of not using a night off to work, and by how much care it really meant, on her part. His voice came a bit hoarse, 'No, it's not my night off'.

'Good', she gave a light pat on his back and was deciding if the moment deserved a _Good boy _remark when the company phone rang. CC took it, 'Sheffield Babcock productions, CC Babcock speaking. Who is it?', after a moment she showed her teeth in a feral grin, 'Mister Smith? Aren't you the choreographer who said I was wrong and would rather die than work for me again? Yes, I suppose you preferred to speak with Mister Sheffield, _darling_, but we have some things to clarify between us, before', she put her hand on the speaker and looked at the two men in the office, 'I'll take it outside', and went to the solarium.

'Poor man', Maxwell commented, seeing her close the glass doors behind her.

'Isn't every one who crosses her path?', Niles answered, moving to stand in front of the desk again, once he was not quite able to take his eyes from her, too.

She was quite beautiful when inflamed like that, speaking her mind to someone she thought did her bad.

(And he had to confess he missed her touch. She had kind of hugged him, some moments ago.

She had taken his hand, for God' sake!)

'I'm glad that, even with your usual disagreements, you are willing to help her', Maxwell said.

'The fact it's a regular day of work doesn't mean I'm going', Niles stubbornly answered.

'Yes, you are', CC entered through the glass doors, going quickly to the desk and motioned for Maxwell, 'Give me the contract we were discussing before', she pointed at the phone, that she had left on the table outside, 'The man is begging to be back. I'll read the new clauses we've written for contracts involving short-term productions'. While Maxwell looked for the said contract, she faced Niles, 'You'll do what is better for the business'.

He shrugged, 'The business is not my concern'.

'It gives you your paycheck', Maxwell said, warningly, handing CC the contract.

She took it and threw a dry 'Thank you' at him. Then, she softened her voice and spoke to Niles again, 'Besides, I'm better at work when I feel happy and positively stimulated. Who can help me keep in track while I face a boring ex boyfriend and those vultures that inhabit Broadway but you?', she made puppy eyes, 'You won't want me there alone to face all of that, will you?'

Niles didn't have time to answer, because the businesswoman spoke and got out of the office again.

Maxwell observed that Niles followed CC with his eyes while she took the phone and rested it against her ear, fully back to menacing a grown man, and decided to speak, 'Old Man, I think CC is right. It will be a difficult night, and we need all the strength we can get to win people. I'm sure having you and Miss Fine with us will create that sense of comfort we need'.

'You think it will be a difficult night, and you are not escorting _her_', Niles commented, pointing in the general direction of the blonde.

'You have done it before. Why would that be so hard, now?'

'She has been acting strange, lately', Niles confided, immediately regretting his habit of blurting things out. To kind of cover it, he added, 'Stranger than usual, I mean'.

'So are you'.

'I beg your pardon?'

Maxwell shrugged, 'You have been a bit more complacent, around her, not reacting immediately at her jabs. Maybe you're getting soft with age'.

At his boss smirk, Niles squinted, 'Pointing out I'm getting old won't take you anywhere. Sir'.

'All right, I'm sorry. It's just funny to see you being a bit less cranky around her. It's nice, in fact. It makes me remember… some good times'.

Maxwell's expression turned sad, and there was a silence full of understanding, in the room. Both men knew they were talking about Sara and how things were different when she was alive.

'Those memories are not easy for anyone, Sir', Niles quietly said.

'And you insisted lots of times on how important it is to create new ones', Maxwell answered.

'Life, fortunately, goes on', Niles spoke, feeling kind of an hypocrite saying those things and trying to steal glances at the woman he denied wanting every day because she had appeared out of his reach for so much time in the past.

'And still, Miss Fine has taught us we should not pretend the past didn't exist'.

He gave all of his attention to Maxwell, 'I don't think I get it, Sir'.

His boss joined his hands under his chin, 'There were times when you kind of got along with CC. It still happens, now and then. At least, you two have showed to be perfectly capable of letting your differences aside for a number of opportunities'.

'As I said, there are deals a man must make…', Niles murmured, not knowing exactly how much Maxwell had noticed.

'I wonder if you couldn't do the same to help us with the business, this time'.

Niles let out a breath he had been holding since he thought Maxwell had realized the nature of CC's change towards him and would comment on that.

Obviously, the man was just referring to the situation at hand.

It was time to retreat, 'I promise I'll think of it, Sir. Now, if you excuse me, I better get out before she is back'.

'Of course. I mean, yes, maybe there is some work to be done out of the office, for you'.

Niles grinned at his boss teasing and turned to get out of the room.

Seeing the tray on the green sofa, he decided to pick it up.

He got closer, extended his arms an stopped in mid movement.

CC Babcock, reincarnation of the Wicked Witch of the West, had used syrup to drawn a heart with a smiley face in it, at the center of the plate he had handed her with pancakes.

'Is there anything wrong, Niles?', Maxwell asked, noticing his butler was frozen in the middle of the office, half way to the green leather sofa.

_Well, what is the right answer to that?_

'I don't think so, Sir', Niles completed the movement and took the tray, looking at it closely and wondering, for the millionth time, how could that woman be such a terrible witch and still able to warm his chest like this, 'Maybe there is nothing wrong, really'.

Maybe she was _his_ witch, after all.

He turned to his boss, careful not to show the plate, 'Please, inform the beast I'll escort her to the party, if she promises she will wear her leash. We can't risk her loose in a public function'.

Maxwell shook his head, 'You know I won't tell her that'.

'Coward', the butler threw at his boss, smirking, 'Excuse me, Sir. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me'.

Niles was barely out of the office door before he took the fork CC had used to eat the pancakes and started consuming the last ones, helping himself to the gift she had left to him. Maybe he was not ready to understand what she was trying to do, but he didn't see a problem in accepting an offer like that.

His step faltered and he came to a halt when he realized he had just thought there was no problem in accepting CC Babcock's heart, if she offered it to him.

_Maybe I should consider visiting Doctor Muller again._


	11. Bort and CC - Round 5

**Therapy**

**Chapter 11: Bort and CC – Round Five**

'Let me see if I got it right, Miss Babcock', Doctor Bort said, crossing a leg over the other and making a calming gesture with her hand, unseen by her patient, 'You received a phone call from Niles, asking you…'

'_Begging_ me', the blonde corrected from the sofa.

'All right, _begging_ you to stop being nice towards him'.

'Yes'.

'And, when you asked him what would happen if you didn't comply, he said he didn't know'.

'Exactly. And hung up on me'.

'Based on this, you decided the best way to act was creating situations that put him under pressure'.

'And without a chance of escaping'.

'This way, you would be able to see, and I quote your own words, _what he is trying to hide_'.

'Yeah', CC said, but then tilted her head in doubt, 'Well, it started like this, but I think I have some idea of what he is hiding, in fact. The point is just forcing it out of him'.

Doctor Bort took a note of how her patient was using more and more imagery that pointed at violence and force. It had started with the remarks about traps and hunting, and now she was using those expressions of pressure. The therapist felt it was something worth to deal with, and soon, 'And what is it you think he is hiding from you?'

'I think he… likes me'.

'_Likes_?', Bort couldn't take the interest out of her voice. Maybe reverting to good things would not be that difficult, after all.

'Yes. No. I mean... I think he has… _feelings_ for me'.

'You sound surprised'.

'And I am. Until some days ago, I had no reason to think Niles felt anything for me'.

Bort smirked, 'He has been _feeling_ things for you for years, as far as I know'.

'Don't try to be a smartass, Doc', CC chastised, 'You know very well I mean _good_ feelings. Not our usual contempt, hate and despise'.

Bort was not one to feel offended, being used to her patient covering her insecurities with a bad mouth, 'Could you name some of these good feelings?'

CC made an expression of doubt, 'Desire?'

The therapist smiled, 'Are you asking me?'

CC snorted, 'No, I'm not. Desire, definitively'.

'Anything else?'

'Admiration, I think', she joined her hands in a rare shy gesture and spoke lowly, 'Tenderness, surely'.

Bort nodded, writing down the words that CC had chosen, 'And what makes you think that he feels such things, after so many years of _contempt, hate and despise_?'

'Well… I have been keeping him in doubt, flirting subtly through teasing, giving him a disturbing sense that something different is going on: not so different that he should feel fear, and still different enough to deserve closer inspection…'

'I understand it that you intended to keep him in doubt, so he would want to know what was happening'.

'Yes, and I had expected to make all of the efforts, and face a war against his fears'.

'And it didn't happen?'

'He resisted when I arrived, obviously, his first instinct being to react to every word I said as if I was hiding something from him…'

'And you were'.

'Yes, but… not bad things… Yes, I know he can't be sure, and the logical assumption was that he would keep the previous behavior, at least in the first day... And still, he did the most surprising things!', she smiled, 'Maybe that's why I can't get tired of him…'

Bort smiled at the admission, 'Tell me what he did that made you see his feelings'.

'For starters, he spent hours making special shaped pancakes just for me. I went to the mansion for breakfast but didn't eat anything, and didn't take a plate. I wanted to go to the office as soon as possible, and it occurred to me I could test him and see how much time it would take for him to get over the surprise and shock and come after me. I kind of expected that he would go to the office with empty hands, just to tease me. Or, who knows, with something edible but distasteful. And when I least expected, there he was, brave and bold, teasing my mental state and offering me bone shaped food'.

'You found him teasing your mental state and offering offending food a good sign?'

'Of course! He was testing the limits, making zingers about me being crazy, and using practical jokes to do something nice. I love pancakes, and he made an entire plate just for me, and spent time cutting them, so they would be offensively shaped. It shows how much he cares'.

'I got it. You enjoyed the dedication and the exclusivity'.

'Exactly! He spent a lot of time doing something just for me. Besides, he didn't recoil after I provoked, but attacked me on our own usual terms'.

'I see', the Doctor didn't even have to make a note about CC and Niles sending messages through pranks. It was already written lots of times in her trusty notebook, 'Anything else happened to justify your positive impressions?'

CC was full of joy while recounting her adventures with Niles, 'He handed me the plate, while we exchanged some zingers, and I felt the scent of the food. That man can cook! The things smelled divine and I said so'.

'As you have done in other occasions'.

'Yes, but this time it kind of came out unexpectedly. When I realized, I was saying _Yummy _as if we were the best of friends and it felt natural to praise him'.

Bort shook her head, thinking how it was not obvious they were friends and, especially, that praising Niles has been part of what CC says since she permitted herself to talk about him.

The patient went on, 'He got silent when I blurted out my appreciation. I found it strange because, you know, he could say a lot of things about me devouring food, especially food that seemed done for dogs, and still, he was silent. He had probably gone to the office waiting for the moment when he would have the chance of throwing the zinger, but he wasn't doing it. I looked at him to see what was happening…'

'Yes?'

'And he had those happy puppy eyes he gets when he is moved'.

'_Happy puppy eyes_?'

'I don't know how to explain... It's something really, really tender. You can see all the caring, in them. No matter what he says, his actions always contradict his words, and his eyes tell everything I need to know', the blonde crunched her nose, 'Damn, do I sound sappy or what?!'

'I think you explained it very well, Miss Babcock', Bort let out a chuckle at CC's barely conceiled smile, 'Why do you think he was moved? What exactly had happened to provoke such a reaction?'

'I had just expressed spontaneously how great his food was. I didn't even think of it – I just said it. I think he noticed how truthful it was and it made him happy'.

'What made him happy, exactly?'

'Feeling that I was sincerely saying something good about him. No, wait: realizing that, when I say what I really feel, it is naturally to favor him'.

Bort seized the opportunity of a CC proud of her own epiphanies to make a point, 'So, maybe you don't have to plan so much when dealing with Niles? Maybe things between you two may happen _naturally_?'

CC, who still had a smile on her face, turned serious, 'Maybe, but I don't intend to risk it. I mean, soon afterwards he liked seeing me eating, but I can't count on such luck every time. I mean, I still don't get exactly what happened there, and...'

'Wait, wait…', the Doctor interrupted, 'What do you mean by _he liked to see me eating?_'

'What is it today that you keep repeating what I say?'

'You are phrasing things in a very interesting fashion'.

'May I know how?'

'In a moment. Before, explain to me this thing about Niles watching while you eat and enjoying it'.

'Thinking better, you can keep repeating what I say. When you paraphrase, you make it sound like a fetish'. Glad to have the upper hand on her therapist, CC went on, 'I started eating the pancakes after we had that moment when I said the things were yummy and he made the puppy eyes. I threw some zinger at him, he answered, and I started eating. I thought Niles was engrossed in whatever Maxwell had asked him to do. To keep track on what was happening I looked up at him, mouth full and all, and discovered he still had his eyes on me'.

Bort wrote down how Maxwell Sheffield was getting less and less space in the stories, 'You thought Niles would have stopped paying attention to you?'

'Yes. For some reason, I considered he would need a pause, after such an intense thing'.

'If you two just had had a good moment, why would he want it to end?'

CC kept silent at that, pondering. Then, she passed her tongue on her front teeth, in a gesture of irritation, and said, 'I intend to finish this story still in this session. I have at least one more point I want to discuss with you, besides the explanation you owe me about my phrasing. I'm paying and I think I have my rights'.

Bort had to fight her amusement at the attitude – CC Babcock, after all those years of therapy, still thought she could hide things from her Doctor using the businesswoman _persona. _Well, it was a question of time and patience for it to crumble, 'I'm sorry. Go on'.

'Thank you', CC relaxed her body, obviously glad to be in control, 'I was sure Niles would mock me, but he almost smiled, and his eyes had that tender expression again. It felt glorious!'

Bort noticed the blush in CC's cheeks and guessed there was more emotion in the scene than her words were conveying.

'I thought by the middle of the morning he would be calling the Police when he realized I was flirting with him, and there he was, smiling at me while I was munching on something he prepared'.

After a brief pause, in which the therapist wrote down that her patient had a soft tone of voice while describing a scene that surely involved her and Niles making sweet eyes at each other – even if she just mentioned his – Doctor Bort resumed the conversation, 'Is your tale over?'

'Yeah, now it is'.

'Then, I'll comment on it and, at the same time, answer your question about phrasing. Is it satisfactory to you?'

'Smartass', CC mumbled.

The Doctor smiled, 'You have been saying things that indicate a need of applying force to your situation with Niles. And I mean force as in _aggressiveness_', Bort detected a reaction and went on, 'It seems you're in an interesting new path when you imply that Niles likes to see you more relaxed around him. You were telling me exactly how well he reacted when you were just being yourself and showing sincerely how you felt, no plans, no traps'. The therapist noticed another reaction, 'However, you keep insisting in the strategy you first designed – without taking into account this new positive factor'.

CC stayed silent for a long moment after listening to Bort. It seemed the words of the therapist had really reached her.

Bort gave her the time she needed, knowing important advances were made after those long pauses.

Finally, the blonde spoke, low, 'I see what you mean, but I can't change the game now'.

'Why?'

'I can't let the opportunity pass'.

'Opportunity for what?'

'Setting the trap'.

'Why do you prefer thinking about your relationship in these terms?'

'Because I have to'.

'Try to explain it to me'.

CC huffed, 'He was trying to flee. I planned on attracting him, and I'm succeeding. I can't change tactics now'.

'You think you started attracting Niles when you started acting actively on it?'

'Uhm?'

'Don't you think the attraction was mutual, and previous to your new game?'

'Yes, but it's different. We felt attracted, but never really acted on it. Now I'm doing things. I have to make sure he is not escaping'.

'But wouldn't it be better if both of you got closer in a common ground, so he would feel safe and come to you by his choice, aware of what he is doing?'

'I can't risk waiting for him to meet me halfway. I intend to explore the breaches he is giving me', CC breathed deeply, 'I'm not brave enough to test these new waters, as promising as they seem to be'.

'But, what if Niles keeps reacting really well to your unplanned shows of affection? Better than to the planned ones?'

'Even if this happens, I know he is too crazy to help me. He was never of any help to me, in fact', she laughed at the reference, then seemed to remember something, 'I'll prove to you what I'm saying'.

'Which part?'

'That he is crazy'.

'Uhm. How?'

CC was obviously excited, now, 'We just had had a moment – with me with a mouth full and he getting all mushy over it – Maxwell said we should take a break, I said I could multitask, and Niles decided to be sarcastic and said I was displaying an example of charm and efficiency. He meant I had no class while devouring the food'.

'So, he said the contrary of what you thought his impressions on the subject were?'

'Very good, Doctor!', CC praised, and it was impossible to know if it was sarcasm or sincere joy at her therapist sharing the obvious conclusion with her, 'I mean, I had just seen him react. I knew he was happy because I liked his food and it was impossible for me not to show it. And then he says something that demeans me exactly because of that'.

'And why is it so important?', Bort asked, to make sure her patient would say it.

'Because that is what he does all the time – when he says I'm ugly, or fat, or a witch… he may be just pointing out things about me that are the contrary of what he feels and thinks. For some strange reason, he found me eating his food a beautiful scene, and he had to deny it. It means his zingers are his way of making sure he doesn't find anything beautiful about me. If he zingers me all the time, it means he finds something beautiful about me all the time...', CC frowned, 'I don't know if I'm making myself clear. It felt huge, when I realized what he was doing – what he has been doing for years'.

'Yes, you've made yourself clear. However...', the therapist adjusted herself in her armchair, '... why would Niles do it? Why such denial?'

'I've told you: because he is crazy'.

There was a hint of impatience in the Doctor's voice, 'Miss Babcock, a crazy person has little contact with reality. Do you think Niles fits the definition?'

'Yes', CC answered with certainty, 'He says things that contradict his real opinions and impressions on what he sees. It is as if he wanted to manipulate reality through his words, to convince himself there is nothing good about me; thus, that there is no possibility of him feeling anything positive towards me, once I'm such a horrible person', she turned her head in the general direction of the therapist, 'Don't tell me it doesn't sound crazy, to you'.

'Calling Niles crazy is not an explanation. In fact, it just reinforces my point: why would he have the need to manipulate reality?'

'You try to ignore reality when it is too painful, and you need to forget it for a while in order to gather strength to go on', her face went somber, 'At least, when I used to drink, that's how it felt: like I had found a way to hide for some time', CC shrugged, 'Maybe, in his sick mind, the zingers serve to prove him it is a good thing I'm out of his reach, once I'm such a horrible person I'm not something he should desire'.

'Those were his exact words, in fact'.

CC had her eyes wide for a moment, when Bort reminded her that Niles had said he _should _not feel anything good towards her in their close encounter in the office.

She fell in deep contemplation, finally understanding the nature of his conflict.

Again, Bort gave her time, and dedicated herself to take some notes: these last sessions had been dedicated to talk about Niles and to understand the nature of the feelings CC had for him. However, the main point, for the Doctor, was that the butler had been throwing CC's way some very hurtful remarks, through the years, and that they hit the mark not just because she liked him and wanted him to like her back, but because, in a certain level, she _believed_ in some of those things. It was like he was echoing some of her deepest insecurities.

The path to realize Niles' words meant the contrary of what he felt and thought must be a path for CC to realize how wrong she had been about herself. Bort wanted her patient to understand that the only reason why she had been able to deal with Niles lately is because she had been sure of herself enough to brush away his weak attempts of demean her, and focus in the telltale sings of his troubled feelings for her.

It was not about seeking his approvation, as she had done with other men, especially Maxwell Sheffield; it was about being so sure of herself she was able to see through the veil of lies and misunderstandings they have been creating between them.

That was why Bort had conviction that the truth was the better strategy, and not the force: because Niles and CC's relationship was based on desperate attempts of understanding each other through methods of communication so hard to decode that they seemed out of a spy movie.

Or a wacky sitcom, with the assistance finding it funny that people who really like each other are so blind or in denial of their feelings that everything they do is hilariously off mark and just ends up separating them even more.

(Doctor Bort hates when a sitcom explores this for so long it has no time left for building a satisfatory resolution. Why keep old patterns of behavior, even after character development has already been made, and some obvious promising alternatives have appeared right in front of them?)

CC moved, and Bort went out of her musings to focus her attention on the patient.

'Yes, I think Niles distorts reality to be able to deny his own feelings and, when it fails, the demeaning and the pranks are the only way he knows to have me at least a bit closer to him. As if he can't resist and, sometimes, simply _has_ to pull at my pigtails to remind me I'm human, reachable and capable of being hurt'.

'Or to remind himself'.

Again, CC stopped to think. Suddenly, she closed her eyes, 'Yes, you're right again – probably he needs to remind himself that we, somehow, are in touch'.

'Does Niles have any reason to think you're not in touch?'

CC opened her eyes, 'Not really. We're often in sync... In that conversation in the office, for example: the zingers and other verbal exchanges are just possible because we think alike'.

'Humour creates bonds because people have to share some knowledge to get the joke'.

'We do it a lot, and it feels great when the connection comes alive', CC smiled, 'Besides that, we silently agree on many things, all the time. When Maxwell is annoying, or Nanny Fine is stupid, it feels like we always have each other'.

Bort prodded, 'If it is like that, why would Niles feel this need to remind you and himself that you are in touch?'

'Oh, well, what do you want me to say?!', CC raised her voice suddenly, 'Because I denied our connection for so much time?! Because I abandoned him after Sara died, staying with Maxwell all the time I could and never even asking Niles how he was coping?! Because I repeated, for years, that he was just a servant not worth my time?!'

CC Babcock was sobbing, her hand covering her mouth, tears rolling down her face.

Doctor Bort kept quiet at the outburst, just reaching out to take the box of tissues and handing it to her patient.

The woman took a tissue and kept it clenched in her hand, her eyes closed.

Then, suddenly, she opened her eyes and had an air of decision all over her.

She wiped her face and nose, breathed deeply to control the last sobs and, after some moments, spoke in a calm voice, 'It's ok. I'm all right. Let's go on'.

Bort asked, curious, 'What made you feel better?

CC sighed, 'There is nothing I can do about the past, but I'm trying to make up for lost time, now. It's consoling'.

'I see', Bort answered, impressed by the successful rationalization her patient had just made, 'Well, we were talking about changing strategies, and ended up analyzing the fact Niles thinks he must keep the both of you in touch through zingers'.

CC nodded, 'And I was saying I'll wait for him to be close enough, make sure he can't run away, and then I'll permit myself to be spontaneous. Not a moment sooner than I've planned. I don't want him to think I'm faking it exactly when I let out the sincere things. That would make me loose all the ground I've covered'.

The therapist found it interesting that her patient was afraid Niles would not recognize her being truthful, once he had already done it before; however, it had happened when she had _planned on_ being sincere. It was different from these new situation, in which Niles saw her spontaneous reactions and was able to judge by himself what was happening.

Bort looked at her watch, deciding that discussion was so complex it deserved another session, 'We don't have much time yet. What is the thing you said you wanted to discuss still today?'

'Oh, yes!', CC was excited, 'I asked Niles to escort me to a party'.

Bort didn't hide her enthusiasm, 'Really?'

CC nodded, 'I needed an escort, anyway, because Chandler will be there, and he has been really annoying, lately'.

'He is still insisting?', Bort almost tsked.

'Can you believe it? I don't know why he thinks he still has a chance'.

Bort smiled, playing with the idea of asking CC why she was so sure Chandler _didn't_ have a chance with her, and giving up, 'You have dated him twice'.

'You don't have to rub it on my face. I've learned my lesson about boring relationships based in business interests. And that is why I need Niles by my side, and cooperating'.

'You mean in the party?', Bort asked teasingly.

CC grinned, 'Not just in the party, I admit'.

'And how have you planned it to be? And now I'm referring to the party'.

CC nodded, 'I''ve made clear he must behave like a gentleman, because I need his help to get rid of Chandler'.

'And what make you believe he will answer adequately?'

'He surely doesn't want me letting him for another man', CC frowned, 'Damn, now I see what you mean by my phrasing'.

Bort chuckled.

CC added, 'You could show some gratefulness over my admission that you were right, telling me if you think it was a good idea to invite him'.

'All right', Bort said, 'I think every opportunity to have quality time with Niles, in a neutral territory, has good potencial for the exploring of this new relationship you have been trying to build', the Doctor changed her voice to a cautious tone, 'However, I must point out this specific one is a very risky maneuver'.

CC was all ears, 'Why?'

'Because Niles seems to have some self esteem issues, and you're using him to _get rid_ of a younger and richer suitor, whom you have dated twice thanks to his insistent interest in you and the fact that, once he is a theater owner, you meet often and he is able to open some important doors to your company. How can you be sure Niles will not change gears and choose, let's say, to push you into Chandler's arms?'

CC was terrified at the idea, 'Why would he do it, if he wants me?'

'There are people who believe the greatest proof of love is letting the one you love go with a person who seems to be the better option', Bort knew it was daring to say the _L _word, but someone had to do it, 'What if Niles sees you and Chandler, ponders of how qualified the other man is, and decides he is the one who shouldn't be there, for your own good?'

Now CC was in panic, 'And it makes sense, because Niles often see things under a stupid light… And, in paper, Chandler is the obvious choice...'

'That's why I said it is risky'.

'But I can't give up now'.

'I didn't say you had to. I was just pointing out the danger of putting Niles in a situation of pressure like that. It contradicts your own plan of making things slow and careful, setting the trap and make him come to you without realizing your intentions. He is not dumb, Miss Babcock. He will – if he hasn't already – understood you want him by your side instead of Chandler, and must be trying to discover what is exactly his role in this situation'.

CC got silent.

'What are you thinking?', Bort prodded when she noticed the conflicted emotions on the blonde's face.

'That I wasn't really thinking about the plan when I invited him. There was a charity party, probably a boring one already, even if Chandler was not going, and Maxwell had just told me that Chandler was going – so, it had changed from boring to annoying in a second –, and I felt like the only way I could enjoy it was with Niles with me, so we could chat, dance... be together. I was not thinking of a plan, or roles', CC gulped down, 'I just wanted a night for ourselves, as a couple, I think'.

'And there is nothing wrong in wanting it'.

'No, there is not, but I may have compromised everything, by following my immediate desires', CC glared, 'I told you it was a bad idea to let things happen without planning'.

'Now that is settled, you can't take it back'.

'It would be worse, surely', CC made a decisive gesture, 'At least we'll have the night we deserve. If everything goes wrong and Niles do something stupid, at least I'll make sure to have something from where to start it all over again', she smiled, 'Who knows if I don't end the night slapping Chandler right on the face, and grabbing Niles to kiss him senseless?'.

Bort grinned, 'It's always an idea'.

'You would love it, wouldn't you? I guess therapists wouldn't choose such a profession if they didn't like dirty stories'.

The Doctor smiled to herself. She knew her patient was trying to divert her attention from the fact she had just mentioned she fantasizes about kissing Niles in public, and that her desires are way beyond his company as an escort.

That was already very interesting, but there was more: CC Babcock had just said she won't give up on Niles, no matter what happens in the party.

Smirking, Bort said, 'It would be lovely to discuss your concept of _dirty_, Miss Babcock, but our time is up. I suggest you keep in mind what happens when you do what you want, and what could happen if there were no plans or situations carefully created'.

CC got up from the sofa, 'I am not doing homework, Doctor. The party is tomorrow and I intend to spend the morning teasing Niles and the afternoon getting so ravishing he won't know what hit him'.

The therapist raised a brow, 'If you prefer him not knowing, it's your choice'.

The word was not said outloud, but Bort knew that, in her head, the blonde was saying 's_martass_'again and again, while she picked her purse and exited the room in a huff.

Luckily, Bort considered not being in the good graces of her patient worth the breakthroughs.


	12. Nervous jitters

**Therapy**

**Chapter 12: Nervous jitters**

Niles was ready for the party and already waiting in the living room of the Sheffields too early for his own good.

He kept wringing his hands and looking at the front door from time to time, eager to see Miss Babcock.

No, not to see her – to _be prepared_ for her arrival. He didn't want to be surprised by her.

In fact, he couldn't permit himself to be _more _surprised, once he had already been, since she came back from her three days of absence: she had been teasing him, messing with his head and turning useless any harsh remark he threw her way in order to defend his already disturbed heart.

Niles had always felt in danger of surrendering to the charms of an egotistical and crazy CC Babcock. He had always found her way of dealing with things, focusing only in her own needs, and rarely noticing other people's, as a trait more childish than evil. Of course, she often was evil, too, but those times were remarkably playful, and aroused him to no end to fantasize about wicked CC. He felt like he could fall on his knees in adoration at her ability to throw menaces and still be funny like that.

However, he had no idea how really in the verge of opening the gates he would be when she mixed her unique personality with that subtle but strong admittance of their connection. Every time she looked at him, showing openly that she enjoyed being with him and/or in the receiving end of his attentions, all Niles wanted was to reach out and envelope her in a hug.

(Well, sometimes it was the opposite: he wanted to adore her for her loveliness, and hug her to make sure she didn't feel alone when she felt the need to menace people… )

The butler huffed, going to the glass and looking outside: his nerves were all her fault, as always. If she had agreed on doing what he had asked to and giving up the dubious flirting, he wouldn't be feeling like every zinger was a new step that leaded on paradise.

Because of this, he had not been able to keep his promise of maintaining a healthy distance, in the last days: Babcock stayed close, being daring and tender; he felt belonging and craved for more and more of her.

And, if the emotional turmoil was not enough, her attitude had been provoking urges he couldn't deal well with, and sometimes Niles wondered how he was still able to not throw hesitance through the window, take her in his arms and tell her he was hers.

(_Maybe Doctor Muller had a point when he said I see myself beneath her: I always think of me as the one adoring, taking care, belonging to…_

_If the feeling was not so delicious, maybe I could stand a chance…_)

Niles breathed deeply and used his old strategy, always efficient when he was loosing the battle against Babcock: he carefully treaded through sad memories, in order to gain strength and resist. There were lots of them, and it was easy to pick one and remind himself of how hopeless was his devotion, and how frustrated he had felt every time he thought a step ahead had been given, just to be mocked or ignored one more time.

Yes, it made him bitter. However, he had gone that way many times, and knew he needed that to not feel the blows.

They still hurt, but Niles had learnt how to make them bearable. If he hadn't, he would have gone crazy, by now.

Fortunately, it seemed Miss Babcock was not really serious in her crusade to whatever was it she wanted from him, because she often left him off the hook, as if she sensed he was almost breaking, and decided it was better to give him some space to breathe.

Niles didn't understand exactly why she did that, but he supposed she was enjoying the game, and didn't want to compromise it by forcing him to the point he would say or do something that forced her to take the ultimate step.

(Whatever the ultimate step was.)

He saw his reflection on the glass and raised a hand to touch it.

Niles still didn't believe she had said she wanted to _show him off_ to an ex boyfriend.

It made no sense at all.

They would be in a party full of familiar faces. Chandler was handsome, rich and influent. He was even good mannered, what was an improvement from some men that had been around the witch.

Why would she expose herself by being escorted by a butler?

How could he impress anyone, being just an old maid – as she had been saying for years?

Niles lowered his hand: maybe he was going to that door so often because, deep inside, he still thought she had invited him just to have the opportunity to turn him off.

He was almost sure she would not come, in fact.

He had even imagined lots of possible scenarios for this: some of them involved the phone ringing and her cold voice saying she had changed her mind and Maxwell would have to represent the company, because she was not going anywhere; some of them had her arriving with another man by her arm, grinning evilly while saying she had just found the perfect escort to the party, _Thank you for nothing, Niles, have a good night alone in the mansion while I dance with this stranger who is surely way better than you._

He had even thought that she could come with Chandler, announcing all had been a misunderstanding between them, but they were back together and she was going with him to the party, obviously, once they were engaged, now.

Niles breathed deeply.

Maybe he had already gone crazy.

No sane person would keep looking for all the possible horrible scenarios, in fear that the surprise would hurt even more than he already hurt at the thought of her pulling an elaborate prank on him regarding this night.

Maybe he should have gone to Doctor Muller again. At least, for the opportunity to try to express himself better this time, and perhaps discover how to deal with these feelings he seemed not to able to suppress as much as he wanted to.

(Not to suppress them totally, because they felt damn good, but enough to not suffer as if every time she walked away a part of him went with her.)

Just expressing his feelings had been like lifting the proverbial burden from his shoulders, but Niles couldn't bring himself to face the therapist again. Not while he was so weakened by the constant confusing presence of the blonde who haunted every one of his moments.

The most confusing thing was that her actions felt disturbing but soothing: all he needed was some time to rebuilt his defenses, but she would come around and threw hints at him about how important this party would be for business, and that she counted on him for her to succeed and impress people, and that if Chandler was kept at bay she would consider it bonus points.

She had subverted his expectations, implying Chandler was a second thought, and the real deal was Niles as the perfect escort to make her feel safe and powerful.

It was difficult to resist to such an invitation to be an ally. His heart wanted to believe, and ached every time he detected something that indicated she thought of him as a suitable partner.

His body reacted in the most shameful ways, too, and he couldn't stop fantasizing about them enjoying their time together in the party. If they had to annoy Chandler, they would have to show some closeness, what could include touching freely – hands to hands, lips on lips, tongues on...

Groaning at his own mind bringing on a rush of desire, Niles clenched his fists by his sides, turned and went to the steps close to the piano.

Maybe he should drink something to calm down his nerves.

In the way to the mini bar he stopped in front of the wall mirror and ran his hands on his hair to put it as he liked it.

Of course, he enjoyed Miss Babcock's attentions, and maybe he was not strong enough to deprive himself from those, but he certainly was capable of dismissing them if it came to that. Tonight, for example: if she doesn't come to him – _when_ she doesn't come – all he has to do is to have something clever to say and hide his bleeding heart until he sees the people to the door.

It's easy to pretend he doesn't care, isn't? He has done it a million times.

_This butler won't be fooled again_, he thought, adjusting his coat.

Whatever this plot was, Miss Babcock would be the one being surprised by the strong and carefully built walls he was able to rise up around his heart. No matter what she had in mind, she would barely reach him, even less hit him.

With some effort, he would surely be able to not care.

Niles realized that, while he thought of how much detached of the situation he should be, with his heart protected from her influence, he had started fussing nervously with his hair and the coat of his tuxedo in front of the mirror, as if this charade was a date, and not the working obligation it really was.

Why all the worry if he knew she wouldn't let him escort her?

The familiar feeling of disappointment gripped the all so protected heart. Niles looked his reflection in the eye and saw the pain in there.

It was really obvious how strong his feelings were.

He was doomed – waiting for his worst enemy to decide the outcome of this story.

He shook his head and looked away: tonight was one more test for his ability of living glued to Babcock's net without making a fool of himself.

Niles went to the middle of the living room, again, just to have something to do and get out of his own mind.

Obviously, he ended up looking anxiously through the front door again.

No, she was not arriving yet.

He felt a familiar mix of disappointment and relief, at this.

It seemed CC Babcock had the talent of putting him in this very specific situation very often: he felt a strong _desire_ to see her, was thankful because he _had_ to see her, and sometimes he just needed her arriving delayed one second more, to build the defenses she was just going to crush the moment he laid his eyes on her.

He heard a noise coming from the big staircase that leaded to the second floor of the mansion.

Niles turned, looked up and seized the opportunity to glare at his employer.

'Sir', he greeted dryly, to call the attention of the man, who was trying to adjust his tie.

'Niles', Maxwell greeted back joyfully, even if his head was tilted in an awkward angle while he descended the stairs, 'I see you're ready early'.

'Yes', the butler answered, in a clipped tone. Sometimes he despised himself for being jealous of Maxwell, but he couldn't help it if the man reminded him how far Niles was of the ideal man CC had in mind.

When the producer reached the last step, he stopped, fussing with the tie and creasing his brow at what was, apparently, a task that required a lot of his abilities.

Niles rolled his eyes, the old pulling of solving things (that he didn't know if was training or affection, anymore) getting the best of him, 'May I help, Sir?'

'Oh, thank you', Maxwell said, gratefully, and descended to be at eye level with his butler.

While straightening the tie, Niles spoke, 'If you don't mind, Sir, I'd like to ask you something that is bothering me'.

'Even If I minded, would it prevent you from doing so?'

Niles just gave producer the eye and went on, 'Would you kindly explain to me again why you agreed on Miss Babcock coming here instead of going directly to the party? Wouldn't it make a lot more sense for a witch to arrive alone and hideous, as people expect her to do?'

Maxwell probably realized his neck was in danger by the frown on the butler's forehead and the tense way of the hands grabbing his tie, and gave a step behind to be out of reach, 'I've already told you, Niles: CC mentioned something about killing Miss Fine if she got me late. Knowing our Nanny, I agreed to the idea of us going all together'.

'I see', Niles answered in a clipped tone, observing his boss while he fussed again with the tie. The man could not know that he suspected the woman had a devious plan, and that this conversation was just a way to reinforce how strange her demands had been, 'And then, when Miss Babcock said that she would wait for ten minutes and would go alone with me if Miss Fine was not ready, you still found the idea acceptable'.

Maxwell made a face, 'I must say I'm still surprised that you wouldn't want to arrive at the event earlier, just the two of you, a limo just for yourselves. You're a well-known fan of comfort'.

'I don't know exactly what you mean by this, but I must point it out that the keywords for the current situation are not _limo _and_ comfort, _but_ alone _and _Babcock_'.

Maxwell opened his arms in a defensive gesture, 'She called it _a preventive measure_. I didn't see a problem, once you're both adults and should have been able to behave yourselves for a twenty minute ride'.

(Niles looked away and schooled down his face, trying not to dwell too much in the fact that yes, they were adults, and that was exactly the reason why they couldn't behave themselves alone in a limo.

The idea of a ride with Babcock in itself made him uncomfortable – all his mind supplied was that twenty minutes would not be enough for the amount of sexual tension they had been in.

In fact, if she gave him the opportunity, he surely would make sure he gave her pleasure for a lot more time than twenty minutes.

_Dear… Just the idea of seeing things between us end after twenty minutes, or even after a one night stand, seems absurd._

_I want her for life._

_Damn…_)

'Since when do you do what she suggests?', Niles spoke, noticing he couldn't take off the desperate edge from his voice.

'Speaks the one who has agreed to every thing she demanded you to do, in the last days', Maxwell said, raising his brows at the butler.

'I don't know what you're talking about'.

'Oh, please, Niles. I'm not blind: she told you to go to this party, and you're going'.

_It's not like you haven't said a word, _Niles thought, but decided not to speak.

'She asked if you had some nice tuxedo to wear, you said you obviously did, but I know for a fact you bought a new one'.

_To be honest, she later asked me if I still had the one from the last year awards, and I decided I needed a new one similar to that, once she had mentioned it as looking good on me_, Niles thought, and again decided it was better not to speak.

'You even chose a red tie, once she mentioned it would be nice if you wore something that matched her red dress'.

Niles looked down at his deep red tie and pouted, 'It was the least I could do after you told her I had said I wouldn't be alone with her. You should have apologized'.

'You make _leash_ remarks, and I'm the one who should apologize to her?'

'Who said anything about apologizing _to her_?', Niles smirked at Maxwell's glare, but then turned serious, 'I think we're even, Sir, once you disappeared and I had to go through a harsh battle between the witch and Miss Fine. My kitchen turned into a zone of war'.

Maxwell stuffed his hands on his pockets, 'I had to visit my lawyer'.

'About what?'

'Something urgent'.

'Oh, surely. You were in a hurry to be somewhere else'.

'Exactly', this time Maxwell smirked and Niles glared.

The butler shook his head and gave up arguing. His boss was too thick headed, but Niles had to be cautious, or even him would notice he felt, in fact, warmed all over by the feeling of doing things for Babcock. And, in a sick and twisted way, even the fact that the women in the house had chosen to go to his territory to discuss something made him feel an important part of the familiar life.

(It had been a bit scary when they entered an announced they had to talk and it had to be in the kitchen – or _Yenta Central_, as Miss Babcock had called it– but soon he recognized the honor they were giving him.

_I really should have gone to see Doctor Muller. This need of belonging can't be normal._)

Niles sighed at how right Maxwell had been: the butler had done everything the witch had asked him to. He didn't intend to disappoint her, tonight. She could count on him to send that Chandler fellow away.

Of course, he had done all of that even after he began suspecting she was just setting him up.

That's why he took care to make sure she didn't notice how willing he was, and had made the leash joke in the kitchen, after the tense discussion when the Nanny and the Business Partner had managed to settle a time limit for the group to exit the mansion.

Niles had that zinger prepared since Miss Babcock had made the invitation for him to escort her to the party for 'animal rights or whatever', and now, when he thought about it, he still couldn't believe how bad it had backfired.

_'Can you believe that woman?'_, CC had asked, pointing to the swinging door behind her, where Fran had disappeared, _'She will be the Yoko Ono of our company, I'm telling you'._

_'Don't overreact, witch'_, he had answered from his spot behind the island, and extended her an apple, _'Here. Have it. You haven't eaten anything healthy all day, and I know it brings good memories of poisoning young girls'._

She took it with a grateful smile, _'Even if I couldn't disagree more over the concept of Nanny Fine being a young girl, I like the mix of her and poisoned fruit'._

Niles had smiled back at her expression of inner joy. He always got impressed by the strange things that would appease her.

(And by how much he was able to provide them instinctively.)

She resumed talking, _'I'm worried because the night must be perfect. There will be a lot of important people there!'_

_'Like Chandler'._

Niles regretted mentioning her ex-boyfriend as soon as the words left his mouth. He gained nothing on showing her he cared.

Miss Babcock had stayed quiet, munching on the apple and looking at him, obviously pleased at the way he had mentioned the name – with disgust.

Feeling uncomfortable, Niles decided to do something to change the focus. So, he took the bowl of fruits from the island,_ 'Better take this away and not give you too much ammunition. God only knows how many people are on your victims' list'._

While he had his back to her, putting the bowl in the back of the kitchen, her voice sounded serious,_ 'It's a big list, no doubt'._

Niles turned to her, feeling in known territory, '_See? Thanks to me, your evil plans will be left aside for a while'. _

She walked to occupy a spot behind the island, where he had been, _'Thanks to you, the list of people I want to capture has just one name'._

Realizing she had moved to stand by his side if he went back to where he had been before, Niles stood still, permitting himself to look at her back side while trying to discover what she meant by acting as if she wanted to be closer to him while hinting he was the name on a list of people she wanted.

He reached her side and she turned her head to him.

The teasing smile told him she was getting closer for reasons totally different from murder.

In one of the moments in which she decided to leave him off the hook, CC looked ahead again and bit the apple. After some moments she raised a finger,_ 'It's good you mentioned Chandler: have you heard me telling Nanny Fine I'll go in red?'_

Niles decided to show some bravery and went to his previous spot, _'Yes, and now I suppose you chose the color that hides blood spots better'._

She looked at him and crunched her nose,_ 'Funny'_.

He was taken aback by the surge of fondness at her making such a gesture at him.

His eyes created a mind of their own and went to her mouth: her lips were wet by the apple juice, and her hand held the fruit in a firm grasp, that made him think of how that hand must feel when she grabbed what she wanted.

In fact, he kind of already knew it, once she had put her hands on the sides of his face when they kissed in the living room, and she had grabbed his tie some times, and if those were any indication of how the strength reflected her desire, Dear God in Heaven...

Niles cleared his throat and decided he better stand at any other place not so close to her. He walked as nonchalantly as he could, his fingertips touching the counter, _'How could I not hear you, once both ladies were deciding things through hissing and menaces? I really should have built some barricades in my kitchen'._

_'Now you are the one overreacting. Have you never seen two women who hated each other negotiating things?'_

_'I thought it would involve a lot more of subtlety'_, he said sincerely, stopping exactly in front of her, in the other side from the island.

_'I save the effort of subtlety for the people I like'_, she said, biting the apple while looking into his eyes, _'Do you like subtlety, Niles? Or you prefer when people say things clearly?'_

Niles licked his lips, _'It depends on what they have to say'._

It seemed his hoarse voice did something to her, because she leaned a bit on the island, her back curving in an enticing way, her eyes on fire, her breasts projected his way, _'With some help, even an active-oriented person as myself would be able to find the right words_'.

He gulped, _'Being a witch, you surely are used to having information extracted from you through wicked methods'._

Niles didn't know how he ended up mirroring her and leaning towards his nemesis, or why he had permitted himself to answer in that teasing way, but the fact was he had done both, and now they were facing each other and seemed on the verge of something.

Obviously, Maxwell Sheffield chose that moment to enter the kitchen with his empty mug.

Both blonds straightened up in tandem, as if they had agreed on not letting anyone else know what was going on between them.

CC resumed the conversation as if she hadn't seen her partner entering, _Anyway, what I meant is that I'll be wearing a beautiful dress in deep red, and it would be nice if you wore something that matched it'._

_'Uhm'_, Niles pretended he was pondering over the subject, while walking towards the sink to hand Maxwell the sugar for the coffee his boss had served himself, _'Can't I match my clothes with your leash?'_

The businesswoman sounded genuinely intrigued, _'You want me to wear a leash?'_

Maxwell raised a brow and took the sugar from his butler's hand, once the other man didn't seem really focused on helping him.

_'It would be nice to have a way of not letting you free to fool around in a gathering where people like animals'._

_'Oh, well...', _CC started speaking and waited for Maxwell to get out, once he seemed to be in a hurry and almost ran from the kitchen at her interested tone. There were things he didn't want to be part of, _'It's nice to know you want to keep me close'_, she smiled,_ 'But I must confess I fantasize about _you_ in a leash'_, her voice went lower,_ 'Just in a leash'._

Niles cleared the knot in his throat, trying not to think of the images she had just conjured, and aware that the contrast of his white shirt and the blush on his neck and face must be making obvious what he was thinking. He opened the buttons of his shirt sleeves and folded them. He felt hot and needed desperately to put some cool water on his wrists.

After some moments under her knowing stare, he turned off the tap with more force than needed, '_There you go with the crazy act again'._

CC smirked at him, _'Don't worry, baby. I'm sure you're capable of behaving yourself in this party. I'll keep the leash idea for an intimate situation, without any prying eyes on us'. _

Luckily, Miss Babcock spoke and turned away, so Niles didn't have to worry about his own shocked face.

She walked to the trash can in the back of the kitchen, threw the rest of the apple in it and came to the sink, _'Chandler has been really annoying, lately, with phone calls and approaching me at improbable places while saying something about how Fate seems to be by his side'._

Niles realized he would have to give her some space if she was to wash her hands in the sink, but couldn't bring himself to give more than a tiny step to the side.

(What was it that she kept going after him, anyway?)

She smiled when their sides brushed, and his voice was way softer than he wished it to be, _'How much delusion a man must be in to think that Fate would do something like this to him?'_

_'Do what?'_, she asked, closed the tap and raised her eyes to him.

_'Put such a witch on his way'_, he answered, letting himself indulge in the warmth of her eyes, _'It's not easy to counterattack some charms'._

CC smiled and Niles couldn't control his impulse of smiling back, _'I'm glad you recognize my natural talent as the reason why I would suffer such a siege, but I must get rid of him, or I'll end up bashing his head'. _

_'And it would close some doors to you._

She shrugged, _'As if I needed him to get anything in Broadway'._

_'I meant _prison_ doors. Behind you'_, Niles smirked at her rolling her eyes playfully, and added in a softer tone,_ 'I know it's yet to be born the man who will have anything you need'._

_'It's not true'_, she answered, looking into his eyes,_ 'I _need_ this thing you bring into my life. Badly'._

She said it and lowered her eyes again, moving her body until she was with her left side turned to him, and she rested her left hand on his forearm, in a caress.

Niles felt his heart accelerate at the tenderness of the gesture, but the touch of her wet hand on his still wet forearm sent a shill over his spine that had much to do with desire.

He started fighting an urge to reach out a hand and cover hers, and he didn't know if it was a tender gesture to show her she could count on him, or one of attraction – so he could bring that hand to his mouth to feel it with his lips and tongue.

Luckily, she smiled, winked at him and took the hand off after a light grazing of fingertips, walking away.

The fact she had broke the moment made Niles sure CC Babcock was not really serious about this closeness between them. Moments like that made him think that her big game was not the day to day teasing, but something that would really shake him – something that was worth her waiting for the perfect opportunity.

The fantasies about being dumped tonight seemed to prove that idea. Which opportunity could be more perfect than this one?

'I must say again I'm really grateful you decided to escort CC, Old Man', Maxwell's voice interrupted Niles' musings, 'The night is full of promise!'

Before the butler could answer to his boss, the bell rang, and both men turned to the door.


	13. Warming-up

_Thank you for the reviews, people, and for keeping track of this story._

_This chapter is a direct continuation of the previous one – that's why I have been able to post it so quickly._

**Therapy**

**Chapter 13: Warming-up**

Niles looked through the glass and saw CC Babcock waiting to be let in.

His heart started beating madly at the sight of her.

He preferred to think that he was nervous, once the moment when she would say the words that sealed his destiny for the night had arrived, but he knew that he was, in fact, impressed by her presence and moved that she had cared to go to the mansion, even if it was just to see his face when she dismissed him.

(The glimpse of a red curvy dress he already could see didn't help matters, either.)

'Would you please stop invoking the Evil, Sir?', the butler threw at his boss, adjusted the coat of his tuxedo and went to the door.

He opened it and stayed at his traditional spot by the side, holding it ajar, observing by his privileged point of view as the blonde stepped in and revealed the details of her appearance in the living room light: she was wearing a smashing dress, deep red – as she had announced; it involved her body and put in evidence every trait that haunted Niles' fantasies – the ample bosom, the strong shoulders being brushed by her hair, the long legs.

To top it all, she had an air of confidence and easy elegance that was pure Babcock.

The first thing she said, while looking at him, was 'Let me guess: the tramp is not ready yet'.

(Niles smiled affectionately. Pure Babcock, indeed.

And, if her focus was on Miss Fine getting ready, did it mean she was that beautiful to be with him for the night?

_Uhmm... You should not get hopeful so easily, Old Man._)

'Good evening, CC', Mister Sheffield greeted, pretending he had not heard the way she had referred to Miss Fine, 'You look handsome'.

'Save your praises for the crazy pet wackos at the party, Maxwell', she warned, looking at the producer and tilting her head into Niles' direction, 'I expect Nanny Fine won't force us to leave you behind'.

(Niles let the grin show – yes, she was there to be with him...

_WOW._

_This feeling…_

_I must be really addicted to her._)

'I'm sure Miss Fine is just doing the finishing touches', Maxwell said and, noticing the glare CC threw at him, pointed at the stairs, 'Don't worry, partner. I'll talk to her'.

When he disappeared upstairs, the blonde rolled her eyes, and Niles chuckled, 'Good evening, Miss Babcock. I see you're in the mood, tonight'.

She smiled and gave him the once-over, nodding appreciatively, 'You look great, Butler Boy', she brought her hand up and touched his tie with her fingertips delicately, showing she had noticed it, 'Thank you'.

'You're welcome, witch', he grinned at her, 'Anything to be at your side when you decide to unleash your fury against the world'.

She shrugged and walked to the sofa, 'Considering people in general are more boring than evil, I'll probably not be interested in punishing, just pushing aside'.

'Uhm...', Niles pretended to ponder, 'If I didn't know better, I'd say you think punishing is fun'.

She sat as comfortably as the tight dress permitted and raised her legs to rest them on the center table, in one of those unladylike gestures she just felt comfortable to do in front of him, 'Trust your judgement. You know better'.

Niles grinned and went closer to observe her stretching her legs, 'May I serve you something?'

'No, I'm fine', she made a gesture for him to come closer, 'I have a feeling that we'll be waiting for a while. Just come here and keep me company'.

The butler came to stand by the side of the sofa, hands on his back.

CC looked at him, 'What are you doing?'

'What? No good?'

She patted the spot besides her, 'Are you crazy? How am I supposed to chat with you if I have to turn my head all the time?'

He scoffed, 'You seemed to manage well in _The Exorcist_'.

CC grinned at how he threw a zinger at her and then came to sit where she had indicated.

He adjusted his tie and stayed silent.

She kept her relaxed stance, observing him by the corner of her eye.

The silence was not uncomfortable, but at some point, she couldn't take the bouncing up and down of his leg anymore: she brought hers from the small table and put her feet on the ground, in hopes he would notice she had moved and would stop it.

He didn't.

It was maddening.

Feeling like she had to do something, CC planted her left hand on his right thigh to stop it, 'For God' sake, calm yourself'.

Startled, Niles looked at her with a painful face, 'I'm sorry. I'm just too nervous'.

'Why?', she asked, not taking her hand off, once he hadn't asked her to, 'You have been to these events before. And you have been with my hideous self. What is so disturbing, tonight?'

'This charade', he answered, joining his hands on his lap, 'I hate pretending like this'.

'You mean you hate pretending to be my date?', now she took her hand off of him.

The regret was obvious on his face when he looked at the hand she had moved to her own lap, 'Don't be crazier than usual, woman. I'm not pretending. I _am_ your date'.

'You know what I mean – you are pretending to be ok with it'.

'I don't mind escorting you', Niles looked at her face, 'Yes, we have done it before, and we usually have fun', he shrugged shyly, 'At least, I do'.

'Of course _we_ do'.

He smiled, thanking her silently for the reassurance, 'We are perfectly capable of chatting as adults, we often share jokes, we can dance', he listed affectionately, then turned serious, 'But tonight we have to pretend we are... you know... really close. At least, close enough to make it seem like Chandler, who has dated you twice and is rich an influent, has nothing on me'.

CC raised a delighted brow at the implication he thought _she_ considered Niles above Chandler.

He blushed violently at being caught and tried to amend his phrasing, 'I mean, what will people think when they see me with you? I have a reputation to keep'.

She realized his slip and the weak cover, and decided to show her annoyance, 'Oh, great. For a moment I forgot you insist I'm the Bitch of Broadway'.

'No', he said, quickly repentant, 'That's not what I meant, this time'.

'It seems dangerously close to bullshit', she crossed her arms on her chest, 'It seems you're ashamed of being seen with me'.

'Dear God, woman! How is it you are so stupid?!', Niles turned to her and started moving his arms in emphasis, 'You're a modern and independent woman, a successful Broadway producer, used to scare grown men. You shouldn't need a date, if you don't want to be approached by an ex boyfriend. Why is it that a man who says he is interested in you can't really listen to you or see the signs? It's revolting that you need another man to free yourself. Does that chap thinks that dating you gives him permission to stick around at his will?'

When he finished talking, there was a moment of surprise between them: Niles hadn't expected to be so passionate about the subject, and CC hadn't expected to hear from him such a praise for her qualities and specially, such a feminist pamphlet.

She grinned and put her hand on his thigh, again, 'That was a beautiful thing to say, Niles. It's rare to find a man that thinks like that. I'm glad I'm with you'.

Niles cleared his throat and clenched his fist to not take her hand in his.

(He was not sure if he wanted to throw it away or hold it.)

He pouted, trying to lighten the mood, 'I bet you say it to every one'.

She winked, 'You know there is no one else'.

_Oh, Dear_, Niles thought, but managed to shrug and keep the game on, 'No need to make a big deal of it, Babcock. I know you're just using me to put out with an annoying ex'.

CC shook her head, 'Tonight is not about putting out with an ex. It's about being with you', her hand pressed a bit more, and he felt the heat on his skin create tingles on his leg, ' Maxwell has his doll; why can't I have my boy toy by my side?'

Niles barely could believe CC was comparing their relationship to the one between Maxwell and Fran. It was an admittance of sexual tension he had never expected from her. Of course, she was saying it as a joke, but it sounded good all the same.

He felt an urge to make her admit there were cons, in this arrangement, 'What if Chandler finds out you're making up something just to chase him away?'

'I knew it would blow in my face to date an older and obviously deaf man', CC said, turning her torso to Niles, her knees bending for her to bring her legs up. The hand that was on his thigh went to the back of the sofa, and her other one occupied its place, 'First of all, I already said it is not about him. I'm going with you because I want you'. She sounded as the impatient boss he knew she was, 'Do you get it?'

Niles nodded obediently, feeling involved by the way she was speaking and by that new position she had assumed, kind of surrounding him.

(He was in her web, really.)

She resumed talking, 'Second thing: how could he find out? It's not like it's obvious we're _not_ involved'.

She moved her body again, bringing her face inches from his and putting her breasts at a very interesting angle for his sight.

Niles blinked to break the haze and searched for a new argument, 'What if he decides to take revenge and tell the press who I am?'

She smirked, 'He would do me a favor – sometimes I still think I don't really know who you are. If you have a secret identity, it would be nice to see it exposed'.

Niles rolled his eyes to dismiss the way she had pronounced _exposed _as if it was a delicious notion, 'I meant my profession', he said and permitted himself to add a teasing note, 'The one you're aware of, at least'.

Now she chuckled, delighted by his teasing, and her knee rubbed on the side of his leg, 'They put it in front page, and with some luck my mother will have a coronary'.

CC laughed, and Niles shook his head at her mirth.

She added, bringing the hand from the back of the sofa to caress the hair on his nape, 'We can always make a public scene of you breaking up with me. Cheer up!'

Niles closed his eyes at the sensation of her fingers on his neck, 'W-What are you doing?'

'I think we need to have some intimacy'.

'W-What? Why?'

'If Chandler pays attention, he will notice there is something going on and won't come over. If he doesn't, he will be reinforcing that thing you just said about not really seeing the signs', her voice went lower, 'Nothing turns off a man so much as seeing the woman he wants moving in harmony with another man'.

Niles opened his eyes and tried to show disgust, 'As if you needed anything else to turn off men but being yourself...'

Her hand moved to his inner thigh, and he realized she was checking out his reactions to her.

To his chagrin, she grinned evilly, 'The evidence doesn't support your case'.

'Dear God', he blushed violently again.

CC bit her lower lip, 'Want to put a cushion to hide it and pretend we have some decorum, you British?'

'No', he said stubbornly and, once appearances were lost, decided to be bold, 'I'm half French'.

She laughed, her hand pressing so close to his arousal he moaned at the brush of fabric against the sensitive skin.

It changed the mood: it seemed that hearing his moan took some of her control, too.

CC pressed her legs together, licked her lips and approached her face even more, grazing his cheek with her nose, feeling his scent and savoring the contact.

Niles noticed her ragged breathing matched his, closed his eyes and caressed her hair with his left hand, letting himself indulge in the moment of shared intimacy.

She sighed at the tentative touch, and her fingers grabbed his thigh with more force.

It took some moments for her to be able to talk again, and she spoke low and close to his ear, 'I still don't know how Chandler can't see it wouldn't work out with him'.

Niles lowered his hand back to his lap, opened his eyes and whispered back, 'How can you be so sure?'

'There are things too strong to be ignored, and I never felt those with him', she parted from Niles enough to look into his eyes, and kept speaking low, 'I hope you have got that I'm not just seizing the opportunity to paw you when we get this close. It feels good, but I'm trying to protect myself, here, too'.

He noticed she was serious, 'Protect from what?'

'From you', she answered, the hand on his nape making a caress to take off some of the weight from what she was going to say, 'You're well known for humiliating me in public. I have to make sure that, if you decide to dance with another woman and leave me alone, for example, she will have to extricate you from my arms first'.

'I never intended to', Niles quickly said, moved by the fact she had the same worries he had, and feeling a bit stupid for doubting her intentions.

'Really?', she raised a brow, 'How can I be sure, after all we've gone through?'

'I'm going to this party to be with you, not to fool around', he said and immediately flinched at his own words, 'I mean, if it's not to be by your side, what is the point of going? I mean... Dear God, I better shut up'.

She grinned and grazed her nose on his, 'Stop being cute, for God' sake, Niles...'

He was dazed by her actions, 'I'll be there for you'.

'I know'.

The sincerity of the words and the intensity of eyes on eyes set the alarms off on his mind, and Niles backed off a bit, 'I'll make sure you won't throw yourself at the arms of the first millionaire who appears'.

'Hey', she protested, 'You speak as if I was a slut', she looked away, 'Oh, I forgot you think I am'.

'No', he pouted, searching her eyes with his, 'I just want the best for my favorite witch'.

(_What the Hell?!_, he thought to himself, _What am I saying?!_)

'Better', she approved, relaxing her body against the sofa and letting the hand on his leg move closer to his center again, 'But you're still very tense. I don't want you to embarrass yourself'.

He gulped, 'I'm trying to calm down'.

'It's really hard, isn't it?'

He was shocked by the direct approach of his predicament, 'What?'

'To calm down', she smirked, 'It's hard to calm down. I understand, because I'm really excited for this party, too'.

Niles took a deep breath and decided not to chastise her for pretending she hadn't meant the misunderstanding. It was not like she was serious about any of this, anyway, 'Maybe you should let go of me'.

'Why?'

She baited her eyelashes at him in fake innocence, and Niles had again the certainty that she was playing with him. 'Someone may see us'.

'But it feels so nice... Doesn't it?'

Her leg raised a bit and Niles realized she was resisting the urge to throw it on his lap. In an instinctive reaction, his left hand reached out and rested on the right side of her hip, as if he had to anchor her, 'You don't mind?'

She moaned and her body moved against his palm, as if the balance of power had changed, and she was the one craving for contact with the despair Niles usually thought as only his.

Her voice came out in a breath, 'Of course not. It was already time for you to touch me'.

'What?', Niles realized she seemed so enthralled by his gesture she was answering to it, and not to his question.

He noticed the firm hold his hand had on her side and the intensity of the feelings coursing through him at that moment: the fact that the desire was not just in him, but pouring from her in waves, connected them in a new level.

In a near panic, he took his hand away, 'I'm sorry. I hadn't realized...'

'Oh, Niles', she begged, 'Don't take it away'.

'Please, Miss Babcock', he said, his voice trembling, 'Don't do this to me'.

The hand on his nape came to his cheek, 'Will you touch me again?'

His breathing was labored, and he closed his eyes to not see the heat in hers, 'No'.

'You worry too much', she whispered and tilted her head, so she could graze the side of his neck with her nose, 'Why is it?'

(CC had never hated her make-up as much as she hated it in that moment. She would kill to be able to touch his skin with her lips.)

Niles shivered, 'It's wrong'.

'I'm curious to know who put this idea in your head'.

The feeling of her in his cheek, his neck, and the hand almost sprayed on his arousal were making him forget his fear of telling her things, 'You did. Many times'.

She froze for a moment, understanding how important it was that he had managed to tell her that, and brought her hand to his nape again, 'If you have listened to me before, you must listen to me now', she grabbed his hair and spoke with a deep voice, 'Touch me, Niles'.

Her order was too much to him, and he obeyed without hesitation – his hand rested again in the curve of her waist, this time in a possessive grip that surprised CC, made her blush in arousal and rock her hips.

'I hope you don't regret it', Niles whispered, searching her eyes with his, 'Because there may not be a way out, once you let me in'.

He had said it with his eyes set on hers, but soon they descended to her lips, his head bent a little to the side, and CC decided to send the make up to Hell, because it seemed he was going to kiss her, and nothing was more important than that.

(If he did it, there was a strong possibility of them giving up the party altogether, anyway. Who needs lipstick when they had all night to let the passion run free?)

Loud voices came from the front stairs, and Fran's loud 'We're ready!' was heard above Maxwell's.

'I can't believe it', CC huffed and squeezed his inner thigh in an attempt of containing her frustration, just realizing she had used her nails and had probably done it painfully for him too late to prevent it.

The deep moan it elicited from Niles was a nice surprise.

She smirked at him.

'Stop it', he hissed, to not be heard by the people who was still discussing something in the stairs.

She took her hands off of him quickly, rising them in the air in a gesture of surrender, the smirk still on her face.

Niles got up, adjusted himself the better he could and extended his hands to her, 'I'll tell the driver we're ready'.

With him standing in front of her, she was facing his middle, and knew he needed a moment far from her and out of sight, 'Yeah, do it', she agreed, taking his hands and getting up, 'I'll make sure we're on our way'.

The phrase was not meant to be ambiguous, but it was, and they shared a look over it, hand in hand in the middle of a living room that had seen some life changing moments of their History, already.

CC's eyes told him she was barely able to contain her frustration at the interruption.

Niles's eyes told her he was barely able to contain the need to tell her he felt the same.

He let go of her hands, clenched his fists and turned away, almost running to the front door.

She tried to relax a bit by rolling her shoulders.

The voices reached her, what didn't exactly improve her mood, 'But Mister Sheffield, I really have to go back to my room, again! I forgot my clutch...'

'I'll get it for you!', Maxwell sounded desperate.

'Oh, if you want to do it…', the brunette used that sugary tone that annoyed CC to no end, 'The black one! With the stripes!', she had to finish yelling at the already departing man.

CC walked around the sofa, crossed her arms on her chest and observed the woman descending calmly the stairs, as if they had all the time in the world for her to catwalk.

She kept the most severe glare she could muster until Fran reached the last step. It helped to dissolve some of her irritation, and she was able to throw a zinger, 'One of these days, Nanny Fine, I'll have to find a socially acceptable way of killing you'.

'We're not that late, CC', Maxwell, who was descending the stairs running, a clutch on his hand, tried to appease his partner.

'And you are no angel, either', the socialite accused him, somewhat cryptically.

'Oy', Fran commented, 'Someone has run out of medication'. When she noticed people looking weird at her, she clarified, 'It's something Niles would say, isn't it?', she turned to CC, 'Where is he, by the way?'

'He must be in the limo, once he can't resist to a free ride', Maxwell commented and took his nanny's hand, 'We should join him'.

'Now, wait a minute', CC said, raising her hand to stop them, 'Niles is my escort, tonight. I don't want anyone pissing him off, or making detrimental comments about him', she glared at them, 'Do I make myself clear?'

Both dark heads nodded eagerly, and CC turned to the door, showing she was done with them and not open to questions.

Obviously, Nanny Fine had to have the last word, stage whispering at Maxwell, 'Is she territorial or what?'

The blonde smiled to herself: _You have seen nothing, yet._


	14. It's a dog's life?

**Therapy**

**Chapter 14: It's a dog's life?**

CC had expected the ride to the party to be a difficult one, with Niles being tense and wary after their clinch in the Sheffield living room. She wouldn't be that surprised, if he got his distance from her, and she was kind of repentant over the possibility of being too forward and scaring him.

So, she braced herself for the worst.

(The irony of the situation was not lost to her: she was afraid of being _too forward _with a guy she had been calling insulting names for a decade.)

To her utter surprise, Niles not only managed to behave mostly normal, but accepting her teasing.

And for _normal_ she didn't mean his recent borderline aggressive behavior, but the adorable ambiguous game they had before – the one she had started this story wanting to get back.

(Her mental checklist for _Niles being himself _confirmed it:

Light zingers meant to keep the conversation with her going – check.

Stolen glances disguised as over-critical glares – check.

Fond smiles coming out as superior smirks – check.)

After she had told the Sheffield/Fine Boring Combo from Hell they had to respect Niles for the night as if she had suddenly turned into his Knight in Shining Armor, CC got out of the mansion leading the small group, and found her favorite butler waiting for them at the door of the limo.

While walking up to him, their eyes locked, and her doubts about the night were erased by the promising expression on his face.

Once she reached him, CC stepped aside and made a gesture for the dark heads to enter. Thinking she wanted them to hurry and not wanting to be out of her good graces, they obeyed.

Niles observed it with an amused face and, when the others were out of sight, stretched his arm to offer her his hand, indicating he was there to help her if she wanted.

(She loved the fact he hadn't reached out to touch her, but had left his hand in the air for her to choose if she wanted it.

And of course, she wanted.)

CC rested her hand on his and spoke with a low teasing voice, 'Why are you pretending to be a gentleman? Afraid you'll miss the party if I hurt myself?'

'We both know you would use your magic powers to prevent it', he answered in a warm tone, his own hand enveloping hers and his fingertips caressing the skin, 'However, if you don't watch your mouth, I'll have to ask you to use your broom, tonight', he said and gave her an appreciative stare.

'Yes, that could prove difficult, in this dress', she smirked, getting the meaning of his stare, 'But you would enjoy it, wouldn't you?'

'Seeing you uncomfortable? Surely'.

'I meant seeing me exposed while riding something'.

Niles opened his mouth to answer and closed it again. It seemed he had teased her too early for his own good: she had quickly gone back to sexual undertones territory, and his eyes suddenly couldn't stop themselves from looking at her lips.

He breathed deeply and adjusted his tie with the free hand to straighten it.

Their eyes met again, he shrugged and smiled at her, in a surprisingly sweet gesture of surrender that made her knees weak, '_Touché, _Babs'_._

CC revealed in the fact that he was not afraid of touching her, after all the amount of _almost there_ things they had experienced tonight. Instead of getting scared and hide himself, as she had dreaded, he was out to play with her; and not as if he had to keep her at arm's length, but as if they were back to the same ground level again.

(And the night was just starting... It was so promising it was almost unbelievable.)

'Hey, you two', Fran's voice called from inside the limo, 'I thought we were late! How is it you can stay chatting while we wait?'

'We're going, for God' sake, Nanny Fine!', CC turned and answered, not letting go of Niles' hand for fake support, while entering the limo, 'And don't you dare whining in such a close space, or I swear you won't make it to the party', she let go of Niles' hand and sat.

'I've spent hours getting ready and nothing short of a tragedy will stop me', Fran decided to challenge.

'Maxwell', CC asked calmly while Niles sat besides her, 'Is there any Dom Perignon in the minifridge?', she pointed to the object at the corner, and glared at Fran, 'I'd consider it a tragedy if something so expensive ended up in someone's sculptured hair'.

The Nanny recoiled in terror and the men decided to cut the situation off: Niles closed the limo door loudly, and Maxwell turned quickly to tell the driver they were _finally ready_.

The limo moved and Maxwell engaged Fran in a conversation about the beautiful night and bla-bla-bla, and Fran showed how excited about the party she was by starting non-stop considerations about how much of a good impression she hoped they could make and CC couldn't care less about it all.

Fortunately, the movement of the limo in the New York streets gave her reason to move a bit and pretend she had to adjust the scarf she had brought with her, and soon CC's side was touching Niles'. Seizing the opportunity, she moved her shoulders as if she was annoyed and wanted to get away, rubbing against him a bit more.

He waited for her to finish her little show with a smile lingering on his lips, and leaned a bit in her direction to speak just to her (not too low to be considered a whispered secret, not too loud that the other people would stop their conversation), 'Is there something specific you want me to do, tonight?'

She turned her head at him, pretending shock, 'You really want me to describe it to you in front of them?'

Niles threw a glance at the other two people, engrossed in themselves, and CC knew they shared the feeling that Maxwell and Nanny Fine's babbling had never been so convenient.

He looked at her again and raised a brow, 'Even if you really got me curious, now, I meant it to be a serious question. Is there something you want to talk to me about the party? Something I should do or not to do? We haven't discussed it'.

_No, Niles, we haven't discussed clearly what I want from you. Maybe you would understand it without me having to say all that I have in mind if I just had the braveness to kiss you right here and tell the limo's driver to take us to the penthouse. Then we would have the entire night to discover there is no need to discuss anything..._

Even if her heartbeat accelerated at the idea, deep inside CC thought it would be wrong to take such a harsh decision. She had planned this night, she intended to turn it into a decisive step to convince Niles he could be close enough with no danger to his dignity, and just then she would find a way to abduct him from the world. Not like this, in an impulse, just because he was being the most loving guy ever.

(Even if the shock on Maxwell and Nanny Fine's faces would be worth it.)

'Just be there for me, as you said', she answered, her eyes finding his and staying there, 'That's all I need'.

His Adam's apple bobbed and she could see the emotion taking him.

He looked at her hand and she could see he was fighting the urge to take it.

After some moments he just nodded.

(She loved their verbal sparring, but their silent communication always stirred something warm inside her. He wanted the closeness as much as she did, and he seemed to agree this was not the moment for impulsive decisions.)

In fact, their closeness proved handy as real support for her, once Fran Fine seemed to think she needed to include them in the conversation, decided that Chandler was a good topic, and CC had to explain why she was not dating him anymore ('He is too boring'), why she seemed not interested in discussing him ('He is too boring'), and why he was not in her list of ideal partners ('For God' sake, Nanny Fine, if he sounds so great, take him to yourself!').

That last one had rendered her a glare from Maxwell and one of those fond smiles from Niles.

Nanny Fine couldn't decide if she was happy because Maxwell had got jealous, or if she was offended that CC was suggesting she could pry into an ex of hers.

Luckily, they soon arrived at the party, with everybody alive and some laughs shared over Maxwell suggesting the possibility of him and Niles kicking Chandler's ass if he dared to discuss anything not related to business, tonight.

(CC had to suffer an affectionate _You go, girlfriend! _from the Nanny, who enjoyed the idea of 'our boys' chasing away some guy for 'their girls'. The blonde understood the need for reassurance the brunette had, regarding Maxwell, but seeing a confrontation between Niles and Chandler as the focus was not exactly the blonde's dream of the perfect party.)

When the limo stopped, CC breathed deeply. She had great expectations for tonight, as she had told Niles, and not just because there were lots of business opportunities ahead: she intended to prove to him they worked well as a couple.

(Yes, she gave up pretending she doesn't know what she wants from him. It happened some moment between seeing he had wore the deep red tie to match their clothes, as she had requested, and listening he would be there for her.

There was no way she could keep denying she wanted him for the man he is – for the _person_ he is – and that she feels ready to accept whatever it means to be with Niles, once she liked a lot what she had already seen, and was eager to discover what else he had to offer.)

CC smoothed her dress and gladly accepted his hand to get out of the limo. It was another gentlemanly gesture he did and showed her he was all right with being with her for the night.

Once Maxwell and Fran were ahead and being assaulted by the press, CC grabbed Niles' hand and walked decidedly towards the big entrance.

She didn't let go when the reporters asked for them to stop, so they could take shots of them; she even grasped it a bit stronger, to show him she had not changed her mind about being with him.

Again, being the lovely guy he had decided to be for the night, Niles stayed by her side, posed with her, and then gave a tiny step aside when the journalists started the questions.

She spoke about the next play she was producing and was able to throw some vague words about how important to support causes as this one it was, and how her company would always be in events like these to show its social engagement.

Niles didn't make horns behind her head or any other childish prank, what she found great and not that surprising anymore, but the tiny step aside was what made her smile genuinely while she talked to the press: it was meant to show the spotlight was hers, and that he was only the guy who escorted her, by the moment.

After years of dating men that wanted to be as seen as herself, even when things were about her, CC found it proof of real respect.

She could feel his supporting stare on her face while she spoke, and she asked herself how could it be that Niles kept going beyond her expectations – how could he know that was what she needed? Did it mean he had been fantasizing about being by her side and had planned on how to behave accordingly?

One daring reporter recognized him from a previous press reunion in the mansion and threw the question loudly, 'Miss Babcock, isn't your escort Maxwell Sheffield's butler? And why is he holding your hand?'

There was a sudden silence while everybody suddenly seemed to realize who the man by her side was and the way their body language had changed from previous situations like this.

The harsh words came out of her mouth before she could think them over, 'His name is _Niles_, and he is my _date_, tonight. That's all that matters'.

The reporter who made the question was open mouthed at that, and the others started talking all at the same time, demanding answers about their _status_ and what his presence there meant.

Niles let go of her hand and rested his on CC's lower back, speaking firmly, to be heard over the noise, 'You better listen to the woman, people. She already said what there is for you to know. Now, if you'll excuse us'.

He looked at her to see if she agreed with his initiative, she nodded at him with a smile and they turned, quickly joining Maxwell and Fran at the door of the big place and disappearing from view, letting a trail of excited reporters behind.

**ncncncncncncnc**

CC felt like walking in the clouds when she entered the building, with Niles' hand a warm presence in the small of her back, and the protective way he kept looking around them.

(She knew he was worried about Chandler. It was curious that she wasn't, but the way they had behaved in front of the reporters was still making her too giddy for her to think of any menace.)

They had to stop in a halt, because Maxwell and Fran had done it suddenly, in front of them.

Hearing the gasps from them, she knew something was amiss, and looked around.

They had expected a ballroom, special lights, some music, people dancing, maybe a buffet by a corner; however, there was just conversation and the lights were one hundred percent on.

CC frowned and looked over the Nanny's shoulder: there was a small arena, circled by some grids, right in the middle of the room, where the dance floor should be.

Stretching her neck a bit she was able to see what was in it: at least twenty big dogs walking, playing and doing all sorts of doggy things, while being cared for people wearing strange uniforms.

CC was wide eyed, and gripped Niles' arm, 'What the hell is happening?', she gave a step ahead to hiss, 'Maxwell?!'

Her partner seemed as surprised as her, raising his shoulders in confusion, 'I have no idea of what is happening, CC'.

Niles pointed to the big banner in a wall, a tone of mirth in his voice, 'It's the annual meeting of the New York Trainers Association. Haven't you read the invitations?'

'Trainers?', Fran asked, 'You mean people who grooms Lessie and other animals for TV and movies?'

'I think it's more as in people who teach dogs to guide blind people, or to help police and firemen', Niles answered, freeing his arm from CC's grip and circling her waist instead.

She knew he was trying to support her, once she must have such a shocked face he probably couldn't decide if it was worth pity or a fit of laughter. She was not for pulling the poor damsel in distress act, and he must know her shock was sincere.

Fran got curious, 'How do you know they aren't Broadway or Hollywood dogs? Singing and dancing dogs can play very important parts', she turned to CC, 'You could use them in shows, sometimes, couldn't you? Everybody likes artistic dogs'.

CC looked at Fran as if she was crazy.

'We haven't really thought about it', Maxwell answered, and looked at the arena as if pondering over the idea.

CC looked at him as if he had gone crazy.

Niles brought her closer to him using the arm he had wrapped around her waist, 'Stop doing the face of a cartoon character who has just discovered it is in a small island surrounded by sharks'.

'It's more like discovering I'm in a small cage surrounded by baboons', CC said, her hand going naturally to cover his on her waist.

'The baboons are inside or outside the cage?', Fran asked, 'And why are you two so touchy-touchy?'

Niles and CC didn't move apart, just raised their brows innocently, 'What do you mean?'

'I mean that...', Fran made a gesture towards them, '… _hug_ thing'.

'Oh, dear, did I get it wrong?', Niles looked at CC, 'Isn't this how a escort should treat his companion?'

'The right expression should be _his lady_', CC corrected, nudging him playfully, 'No, you didn't get it wrong. It's some of Maxwell's difficulties with physical things that had rubbed on Nanny Fine'.

Fran put her hands on her hips, 'Wait a minute! There is no one rubbing anyone, here...', she trailed off when she realized both blonds were looking at her as if she was missing an opportunity, and turned to Maxwell, 'This is how an escort should treat his lady, yeah! You have no reason to be that far from me, Mister!'

The man blinked and fumbled with an answer, until he decided he had to counterattack, and glared at Niles, 'You're not fooling anyone here, Old Man. Please, answer Miss Fine's question'.

'Oh, well, that's easy', Niles shrugged nonchalantly, 'I think they are not what you call _artistic dogs _because they are all big breeds – German Shepherds, Labradors, Golden Retrievers. The kind of dogs you expect for a diversity of _no artistic_ jobs, as difficult rescues and helping people to navigate among crowds'.

Maxwell squinted at him, realizing Niles had pretended not to get which question he was referring to, and CC decided to speak before the personal subjects were brought up again, 'If this is the case, why would they want Broadway supporters, Hazel?'

'It seems people have been discussing exactly the use of animals in artistic shows. A good part of the trainers is against it, defending it works as a circus, just stressing the animals to learn tricks for the superficial amusement of the public. In other jobs, the animals are heroes, well treated, fairly rewarded and not doing anything against their own natural behavior'.

Three pairs of eyes were on Niles when he finished his statement, and Fran sounded almost indignant, 'How do you know all of that?'

'I've been reading about the subject since I knew I was coming. I didn't expect the arena, but I suppose it makes sense to show people how the right training works'.

CC smiled at how clever her escort was and how delicious it was that he was _hers_, then remembered her previous shock and looked seriously at Maxwell, 'How is it you didn't know we were coming to a place full of beasts?'

Niles smirked, 'Yes, Sir. You should always alert people about the possibility of them finding family members in events'.

Maxwell glared at Niles before answering to his business partner, 'You knew about the party as much as I did, CC, and didn't exactly do rehearse before coming, either'.

'That's all right, people, let it go', Fran waved a hand dismissively, 'Niles did it, anyway', she looked at the arena, 'You know, they are very cute and all, but I'm a small dogs girl. No poodles and pomeranians, no fun. How are we supposed to take them in our arms and walk around, as it should happen when elegant women and dogs meet?'

CC was looking at the arena, too, and sounded worried, 'Are they going to stay all night?'

'It would be a new experience for one in your field of work, wouldn't it?', Niles grinned cheekly at CC but, seeing she passed her tongue by the front of her teeth, her trademark _I'm going to kill you _expression, he softened his voice, 'Don't worry, witch. It would be too tiring for everybody. They'll probably go away soon, and then we'll have a big dance floor and a buffet'.

'Do you think?', she asked hopefully.

'Of course', he sing-songed, 'If you're already hungry, we can always ask the trainers for something they have at hand'.

'I'm serious, Niles', she said, frowning, but not sincerely angry.

He gave a reassuring squeeze in her hand, 'It's a fair assumption', he said, 'That's how I would have planned things, at least'.

'All right', she relaxed, 'Let's wait and see'.

Maxwell decided to seize the moment of a placated business partner, 'We better start making rounds and discover what is it they expect from us, then'.

CC nodded and they parted ways, with Fran going with Maxwell just after throwing the blonds a knowing look that was a promise of new questions later.

As soon as Maxwell and Fran were gone, CC went out of Niles' arms and turned to him with a businesslike posture, 'So, I tell them I'm against dogs in Broadway and that's it?', she made a face at his smile, 'And, please, be serious. I'm really at a loss, here'.

'Sorry. I'm just happy at you trusting my knowledge', he clarified.

She frowned in fake superiority, 'You must be, once you know I have never been a fan of working with another beasts'.

His grin was so spontaneous she considered grabbing him and kissing that mouth right there, but decided to maintain her businesslike façade, 'In fact, I'm used to working with people that are worse than beasts, and that's hard enough'.

He started snickering and got closer to her in a mix of worry and fondness, 'For God' sake, Babcock, refrain from saying _worse than beasts _around people who seem to love animals so much'.

'Oh, all right', she agreed (knowing the concept of being really offensive to other people often deluded her), and settled her palms on the lapels of his tuxedo, 'What more?'

Niles noticed her gesture and, after a brief moment, settled his hands on her hips. He looked at her pensively and spoke softly, 'Maybe it would be useful if you had in mind _why_ you are against animals in Broadway, in order to emit something that could pass as a convincing argument'.

'Dogs are too filthy to be permitted in the theater', she quickly said, shrugging. Seeing that he raised a brow at her, she asked, 'What's wrong?'

'They are animal lovers', he reminded her, 'You should have an argument that praised the dogs'.

'Oh, right!', she looked at the arena, considering the animals and the people around them, then to Niles again, and spoke with conviction, 'Putting animals under the stress of a fruitless training, just for the amusement of ignorant people who think all they can do is cheap tricks, it's an absurd notion. If they can be themselves and even have fun while saving lives and being treated with respect and dignity, there is nothing left to discuss'.

Niles was wide-eyed for a moment, then got over his shock, 'Wow... Very good!'

'Isn't it?', she grinned, 'It seems all it takes to gain their good graces is saying I don't want animals close to my shows', she stated joyfully, 'It's a win-win situation, once I never really wanted them'.

'Not everyone can see the bright side of things and use it to their favor so easily', he praised, 'It takes talent to turn the tables like that'.

'I learned from the Master', she complimented back, caressing him with her palms resting on his chest, and adopting a serious tone, 'Thank you for giving me the hints'.

'You're welcome', he answered in a hoarse voice.

'You know… I could get used to you being helpful to me like this', she said, 'Things would be a lot easier if I could count on you telling me what to do'.

'We both know you're not one for taking orders, Miss Babcock'.

'Until I'm sure of how to act, I'm totally open to yours', she almost whispered.

Emotion was clear in his voice when Niles spoke, 'It would be the perfect moment to state that, in this case, I am the trainer and you're the dog, pat your head and say _Good girl_...'

'But for some strange reason, you don't feel like doing it'.

'No, I don't', he stayed looking at her for some moments, then spoke with a hesitant voice, 'I should worry'.

She bit her lower lip and brought one of her hands to the middle of his chest, 'I know it may sound out of character for me, but I can't think of a better occasion to use this line', she looked into his eyes and smiled, 'Listen to your heart'.

He smiled back and the hands on her hips moved in a feathering caress, 'What if it says I _should_ worry?'

'It won't', she winked at him.

He kept looking at her, his expression turning serious. He was obviously taken by the emotions they were sharing.

CC realized they were close to kissing, again, and started adjusting his tie to brush away the affectionate moment but still keep Niles close to her.

(She didn't want to give more steps further than she considered safe, and the situation was quickly getting out of hand, with their attraction taking the lead and bringing them too close for people who were used to a slower and more tentative pace. She had to stop it before they were hit by more than they could take.)

Niles searched her face for answers, confused by her sudden retreat. He must have detected her nerves, because he cleared his throat and asked, changing the mood, 'It's business time?'

'Yeah, it is', she answered, grateful he had found a way to justify her change in attitude, and gave a step back, 'Come on, let's show this people who's boss'.

He nodded, 'After you'.

CC noticed Niles still sounded a bit unsure, but willing to follow her.

She had to be careful and keep things under control; and, even if she already missed his touch, keeping some distance was the only way to do it.


End file.
